Sakura: “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Sakura: “It’s okay guys I’ve got this. This one is easy.”

Sakura: “Naruto.....remember how we got Sasuke back?”

Naruto: “Who the hell is Sasuke?”

Sakura: “Oh god it’s hopeless.”

Kakashi: “C’mon Naruto, snap out of it. You’re upsetting Kurama.”

Naruto: “Ku...rama? What are you talking about?”

Kakashi: “You know. The demon fox inside you.”

Naruto: “The WHAT inside of me?? WHAT DEMON FOX? THERE’S A DEMON INSIDE ME??”

Kurama: “Maybe not the best idea.”

Gaara: “Oh....this isn’t very preferable now is it.”

Gaara: “I can’t lose Naruto as a friend. Naruto, look me in the eyes and tell me you remember everything we’ve been through.”

Naruto: “You.....have very bad dark circles. Maybe you should get some more sleep?”

Temari: “Gaara no don’t cry please it’s okay it’s fine!”

Kurama: “Look Naruto, this is probably gonna freak you out but you’ve got to listen to me.”

Kurama: “You are a Jinchuuriki. That means you have a tailed beast inside you. I am the tailed beast. I’m a Kyuubi.”

Naruto: *Incoherent screaming* “GET OUT OF ME.”

Kurama: “NO STOP BEING A BABY.”

Hinata: “H-He’s lost his memory?? Of everything??”

Hinata: “Naruto please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me! We’re getting married in a few months!”

Naruto: “Well I mean.....I don’t know who you are but I wouldn’t mind marrying someone as pretty as you!”

Hinata: “I...I....I don’t know how to respond to that!”

Konohamaru: “Waaah? You’ve lost your memory??”

Konohamaru: “But....but surely you couldn’t have forgotten the most important jutsu of all!?”

Naruto: “Which....would be...?”

Konohamaru: “Your sexy jutsu!!”

Naruto: “My wha-? That sounds stupid.”

Konohamaru: “BLASPHEMER!”

Sasuke: “Ridiculous. There is no possible way he could of forgotten every damn thing over the past few years.”

Sasuke: “Naruto, if you don’t snap out of it I’m going to ram this chidori into your chest. Got that?”

Naruto: “Your.....your fist is filled with lightning!”

Sasuke: “Ten seconds and counting.”

Tsunade: “Brat. Do you want to be Hokage or not?”

Naruto: “What’s a Hokage?”

Tsunade: “It’s what YOU’VE wanted to be your whole goddamn life! You idiot! Now stop acting like a fool!”

Naruto: “I’m sorry maam but your chest is distracting me.”

Tsunade: “Sakura baby hold me back ‘cause I’m about to punch this sucker into next week.”

Iruka: “Guys, guys! I’ve got this! Just let me handle it.”

Iruka: “Naruto; come with me.”

Naruto: “Where are we going, stranger I’ve never met until now?”

Iruka: “You’ll see.”

Ichiraku Ramen Guy: “Naruto! The usual I assume?”

Iruka: “He’s lost his memory. Can you restore it?”

Ichiraku Ramen Guy: “One large miso ramen with extra pork coming up!”

Naruto: “This is....amazing! It’s almost like....oh my god, Iruka Sensei? What happened??”

Iruka: “You’re the hero we’ve always needed, Teuchi.”

Resolution: “To be on time to meetings more often”

Status: FAILED

Kakashi: “I just....really....can’t be bothered being on time.”

Resolution: “To stop yelling at Deidara so much”

Status: FAILED

Sasori: “It lasted like 5 minutes I mean it’s DEIDARA, what do you expect?!”

Resolution: “To stop drinking so heavily”

Status: PASSED.....FOR NOW

Tsunade: “This is even more difficult than that time I had to fight Madara.”

Resolution: “To be more charitable”

Status: FAILED IMMEDIATELY

Kakuzu: “I JUST CAN’T.”

Resolution: “To be less violent when it comes to Naruto”

Status: PASSED

Sakura: “It’s a lot easier to NOT hit someone when they’re you know....the Hokage”

Resolution: “To be even more youthful than last year”

Status: PASSED

Rock Lee: “I WILL ALWAYS BE TRIUMPHANT!”

Resolution: “Be more active and less lazy”

Status: FAILED

Shikamaru: “Ehh....work is just such a drag you know.”

Resolution: “To offer more sacrifices than last year”

Status: PASSED

Hidan: “Did you really expect any different?”

Resolution: “To take more naps”

Status: PASSED

Kurama: “I think I deserve it tbh.”

Resolution: “To smile more”

Status: BARELY PASSING

Pein: “Konan sometimes sticks her fingers in my mouth and forces me to smile so I’m counting that as a pass.”

“Ten ways Naruto is the best ninja”

“How Jiraiya was the best teacher Naruto ever had”

“Akatsuki members ranked from most intelligent to least intelligent”

“Top ten people Hidan should kill”

“A list of the top ninja with the highest bounty”

“Zetsu appreciation post”

“Reasons why Ninja dogs are so important!”

“Sage of Six Paths appreciation post”

“Why Obito did nothing wrong”

“Tips on caring for a cactus in the Sand Village”

“The Seven Swordsman ranked by strength”

“Why the snake sage mode is basically turning into a dragon”

“Why the Naruto parents should get more screentime and appreciation”

“Why the Naruto women are the strongest”

“How to look after your tailed beast PROPERLY”

Iruka: “N-Naruto?! Could it be?? Are you seriously giving up something we used to bond over??”

Kakashi: “Thank god, I don’t have to fork out all that money anymore”

Iruka: “T-That isn’t the point!”

Sakura: “You can’t be serious? Naruto, that’s like your trademark! You can’t give up something you've spent your whole life doing to build your character! Even if it did annoy me!”

Naruto: “I-It annoyed you?!”

Sasuke: “Hm. Maybe you’ll actually lose a little weight and beat me, for once.”

Naruto: “Eh??? I don’t need to lose weight you prick!”

Sasuke: “But you still can’t beat me.”

Killer B: “ Gyūki wants me to tell you thanks. For not eating food that looks like his tentacles no more.”

Naruto: “But....ramen isn't made out of-”

Gyūki: “IT COULD BE.” 

Chouji: “But who else am I gonna eat food with?!”

Naruto: “Er....anyone else that likes to eat?”

Chouji: “But YOU can actually finish more than one bowl with me!”

Kurama: “Oh thank GOD I don’t have to put up with that stuff anymore. Every single day it was ramen. RAMEN. I HATE THE STUFF.”

Naruto: “Y-You can taste it?!”

Kurama: “I am a part of you, you know.”

Rock Lee: “Naruto! Ramen always kept you looking and feeling so youthful! How could you give up something that gave you that feeling?!”

Naruto: “You know I get the feeling most people don’t want me to quit it...”

Kurama: “NO. PLEASE. QUIT IT.”

Minato: “Naruto....you were named Naruto because Jiraiya came up with the name when he was eating ramen. Do you really want to let him down?”

Naruto: “Don’t guilt trip me, dad!”

Jiraiya: “I am shocked and offended!”

Teuchi: “......” -sheds tear-

Naruto: “OKAY OKAY. I’LL START EATING IT AGAIN.”

Kurama: -groan of agony-

Temari: "Kankuro, Gaara's fallen asleep on Shukaku again."

Kankuri: "Let's take photos!"

Yugito: "Utakata look! Matatabi is chasing after the yarn again!"

Utakata: "YUGITO IT IS DESTROYING BUILDINGS"

Yagura: "You are now like a normal turtle. Only much bigger."

Isobu: "Can you put some food in front of me? I can't get to it."

Yagura: "......you are so cute."

Roshi: "Awh look. You're now so much smaller! Almost as small as a normal monkey!"

Son Gokū: "Roshi I swear if you keep calling me that I will crush you."

Roshi: "Okay okay, MAYBE you're a bit bigger."

Han: "Would you like me to scratch you under your horns?"

Kokuō: "Only if it doesn't inconvenience you."

Han: "Kokuō you've been nudging my hand for 10 minutes."

Saiken: "I'm sorry! I'll clean this up right away!"

Utakata: "You are trying to clean your mess but are creating even more mess in the process. You are a funny little slug, aren't you?"

Saiken: "Then quit standing there and HELP ME."

Fū: "WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY SO FAT AND SLOW?"

Chōmei: "I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE IT'S LUCKY?!"

Fū: "YOU ARE SUCH AN ADORABLE LITTLE BUG I WANNA RIDE ON YOUR BACK"

Gyūki: "I swear if you start rapping about this..

B: "Who me? Never! But Gyūki! It looks like yo booty looks a lot more like sushi!"

Gyūki: "THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME."

Kurama: "For the last time NO. I AM NOT A DOG."

Naruto: "Awwwwh c'mon Kurama! It was so much fun last time! All the people staring and the dogs trying to sniff your-"

Kurama: "GET THAT LEASH AWAY FROM ME."