Sasuke: “I don’t have time for a relationship. There are things far more important.”

Sasuke: “....”

Sasuke: “But I mean if I HAD to choose then someone who’s loyal. Someone who doesn’t give up on me.....and someone who cooks well.

Naruto: “Oh thank god for a second there I thought you were talking about me.”

Suigetsu: “Pffft who needs a relationship when it’s so much more fun to break them up!”

Suigetsu: “Isn’t that right, Karin?!”

Karin: “I’ve moved on Suigetsu! MOVED ON. But you are STILL a huge bag of dicks.”

Jugo: “Hmm....this one is tricky.”

Jugo: “I mean I get mood swings so I’d need someone who is comfortable putting up with that.”

Jugo: “But at the same time I don’t want a relationship because what if I hurt them by accident?! Or worse?! Oh man I don’t know...I mean I’d probably have to buy them apology gifts after that as well but what if I don’t have the money to do so?!”

Karin: “You are overthinking this waaay too much...”

Karin: “Well. The obvious answer would be Sasuke. There’s no question in that.”

Karin: “BUT I have moved on. He has a wife now. So he’s not really an option anymore.”

Karin: “So I suppose someone who has a similar personality to him. Just without the trying to kill me part. That would be a problem.”

Kabuto: “Well, now that I’ve turned over a new leaf I have high hopes of finding someone who is a perfect match!”

Kabuto: “It would be lovely to have someone come work at the orphanage with me and look after the children together. I can’t possible name all of those Shin clones by myself.”

Kabuto: “Also the person would probably have to like lizards or dragons because I kind of still look like one.”

Orochimaru: “As this is ME we are talking about, I wouldn’t possibly need the use of a partner.”

Orochimaru: “However.....it seems that being a father is tougher than I originally thought.”

Orochimaru: “So I probably need someone to help me look after Mitsuki. I hate to admit it but that boy is far too cunning for his own good. Makes me proud. But yes I need help because I don’t even know how to make packed lunches.”

Kisame “This isn’t even my final form” Hoshigaki

Kakashi “I don’t even give a fuck” Hatake

Kiba “Dogs are more important than humans” Inuzuka

Neji “This is my destiny” Hyuga

Naruto “I would rather eat ramen than fight you” Uzumaki

Itachi “You will never be as cool as me” Uchiha

Kabuto “My ninja info cards” Yakushi

Minato “Catch me if you can” Namikaze

Mei “I’m more attractive than you” Terumi

Yugito “Not just a kitty” Nii

Kotetsu “Guess what’s under the bandage! Guess!” Hagane

Shino “Disrespect bugs and you disrespect me” Aburame 

Sakura “One punch and you’re dead” Haruno

Obito “I did nothing wrong” Uchiha

Asuma “Smoking didn’t even kill me in the end” Sarutobi

Rock Lee: “Neji! How about a youthful game of leapfrog?”

Neji: “N....No! I will not succumb to such childish games!”

Neji: “....”

Neji: “Okay maybe once.”

Kakuzu: “Game of monopoly, anyone?”

Deidara: “Wait for real?? There has to be a catch.”

Kakuzu: “No catch. Just instead of the game money we’ll be using REAL money.”

Deidara: “There’s the catch.”

Pein: “Hidan why are half of these people at the party dead?

Hidan: “Played murder in the dark.”

Pein: “You do realize you don’t actually murder them right?”

Hidan: “Well that’s fucking stupid.”

Naruto: “Okay this is ridiculous, it’s been 3 HOURS.”

Sakura: “I’m hungry. I don’t even care anymore, WE GIVE UP.”

Kakashi: “Wow guys I was like....right behind this building haha too bad.”

Chouji: “Seriously Kiba you CAN’T use Fang Passing Fang! It’s cheating!”

Kiba: “NO RULES WERE STATED”

Akamaru: “ARF!”

Kabuto: “Aaaand down the snake I gooo!”

Sasuke: “You didn’t even land on the correct space.”

Kabuto: “NOPE gotta go down the snake.”

Kakashi: “Pretty sure it’s gonna fall after this one.”

Yamato: “Nnnnope! I have expert building skills!”

Kakashi: “So tempted to sneeze right now.”

Jiraiya: “Okaaay I really think we should stop now.”

Tsunade: “Are you admitting DEFEAT??”

Jiraiya: “No but.....this is kinda dangerous.”

Tsunade: “YOU ARE WEAK.”

Ino: “Yes! We win again, Sai!”

Sakura: “Okay this is CLEARLY unfair, we need to switch partners!”

Sasuke: “Are my drawings not good enough Sakura?”

Sai: “Can you draw a mountain goat eating roses on top of a dragon? I didn’t think so.”

Kisame: “Am I immortal?”

Itachi: “Yes.”

Kisame: “Am I stupid??”

Itachi: “No.”

Kisame: “I’M KAKUZU”

Sasuke: “Oh god not this again. Didn’t you learn from the last....I’ve lost count of how many times. I will Kick. Your. Ass. Again.”

Pein: “Please, I’d like to see you try. Do be careful of the other 5 bodies that may attack you however. Too many to choose from? I’ll just have to kill you.”

Hidan: “Yeaaaaaaaaaaah no. My body is a temple and I don’t want some long tongued bastard to infiltrate it. Just the thought of that makes me wanna puke.”

Kabuto: “Hmmmm.....already got some of you in me. Why does that sound so wrong...”

Naruto: “Sorry dude, I’ve already got an animal inside me. Don’t need another one.”

Kurama: “I am NOT an animal! I am a bijuu!”

Sakura: “Touch me and I’ll make sure you never infiltrate ANYTHING again.”

Hinata: “Oh my gosh no, no, NO, NO, noooo please don’t do that that’s gross and your tongue is freaking me out.”

Kushina: “You want to WHAT. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH THE RED HOT BLOODED HABANERO I CAN TELL YOU THAT MUCH.”

Minato: “I’d listen to her if I was you man.”

Tsunade: *clenches her fists* try me, snake boy.

Jiraiya: “HAHAHA. THAT’S A GOOD ONE. Wait you were serious? Oh. Well uh.....no buddy. No.”

“Ten ways Naruto is the best ninja”

“How Jiraiya was the best teacher Naruto ever had”

“Akatsuki members ranked from most intelligent to least intelligent”

“Top ten people Hidan should kill”

“A list of the top ninja with the highest bounty”

“Zetsu appreciation post”

“Reasons why Ninja dogs are so important!”

“Sage of Six Paths appreciation post”

“Why Obito did nothing wrong”

“Tips on caring for a cactus in the Sand Village”

“The Seven Swordsman ranked by strength”

“Why the snake sage mode is basically turning into a dragon”

“Why the Naruto parents should get more screentime and appreciation”

“Why the Naruto women are the strongest”

“How to look after your tailed beast PROPERLY”

Naruto: “Oh man….was I really like that? I’m so….annoying. And what’s with the irritating catch phrase? Believe WHAT??”

Young Naruto: “It!!”

Naruto: “WHAT IS IT?”

Sakura: “I was so weak! Man I wanna punch myself….why did I let the guys do all the work?? Why didn’t Kakashi tell me to do more??”

Young Sakura: “Hey! I was the most intelligent!”

Sakura: “Okay yeah true.”

Sasuke: “I was kind of….depressing huh. I mean you can’t blame me but…look at the murder in those 12 year old eyes.”

Young Sasuke: “You’re older me?? Tell me, did I finally track down and kill Itachi? Was it wonderful?”

Sasuke: “Yeah about that...”

Kakashi “I was kind of an asshole to Obito wasn’t I. Maybe I shouldn’t of been such an asshole. Maybe.”

Young Kakashi: “It’s not like we’re friends?”

Kakashi: “Yeaaaaah well....go easy on him”

Gaara: “So aggressive….did I really want to kill everyone back then? I’m so glad I met Naruto…who knows what would of happened if I didn’t.”

Young Gaara: “What’s with the fancy haircut?”

Gaara: “You’ll understand when you become the Kazekage.”

Deidara: “How the hell did I fight with all that hair not tied up?? How??”

Young Deidara: “I look like a girl when I’m older?!”

Deidara: “Young me is a brat.”

Kabuto: “I….was a NERD. Why was I such a nerd? Why did I tell everyone about my Ninja Info Cards?”

Kabuto: “I still AM a nerd, it looks like.”

Kabuto: “GLASSES DON’T MAKE YOU A NERD.”

Rock Lee: “Wow, look at how determined I was! Even after suffering from all those injuries and being told I couldn’t be a ninja...”

Young Lee: “You....you’re me?! But you’re so strong! This is the happiest day of my life!”

Rock Lee: “WE WORKED HARD!!!”

Neji: “Why was I so…angry? And depressed, at such a young age. I’m happy that we’re no longer how we used to be Hinata.”

Young Neji: “Why are you protecting Hinata? She’s so weak!”

Neji: “You’ll understand someday, smaller me.”

Kakuzu: “Wow those clothes made me look like an idiot.”

Young[er] Kakuzu: “Tell me, do we make loads of money in the future?”

Kakuzu: “Not enough.”