Konan: “Pein! I bought this for you!”

Pein: “.....it’s got more than one colour.”

Konan: “Yeah...and?”

Pein: “I don’t have time to coordinate colours, Konan.”

Konan: “Pein! Hurry up or we’re gonna be late!”

Pein: “Ripped jeans.....? Weren’t you wearing a pink dress about 10 minutes ago?”

Konan: “Yeah but then you decided to take forever to get ready which annoyed me.”

Pein: “Deidara please stop wearing Konan’s clothes. It’s weird.”

Deidara: “Weird?? What’s weird is YOU judging me about it!”

Pein: “Deidara the closet is starting to smell like your weird cologne please stop.”

Deidara: “......It’s the middle of summer.”

Sasori: “Yeah.”

Deidara: “Like......almost 40 degrees Celsius.”

Sasori: “Yeah.”

Deidara: “How the fuck are you wearing long sleeves and pants?? You goddamn weirdo.”

Sasori: “I’ve grown completely accustomed to it. I no longer sweat.”

Hidan: “The fuck are you looking at??”

Kakuzu: “A sheep, apparently.”

Hidan: “Fuck you Kakushit you don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Kakuzu: “Maybe I could use one of the 7 chains on your pants to strangle you to death.”

Hidan: “Holy shit.”

Hidan: “What the actual fuck are you.”

Kakuzu: “This is all I could find to wear.”

Hidan: “Like hell it is you dumb old fucking golf-playing looking asshole.”

Kakuzu: “Still pondering on those chains.”

Konan: “Kisame...”

Kisame: “Yah Konan?”

Konan: “This sweater you let me borrow. You’re never getting it back. It’s the comfiest thing I think I’ve ever worn.”

Pein: “For the love of....now I have to put up with two different men’s cologne’s stinking out the closet.”

Kisame: “I have a question Itachi.”

Itachi: “Go for it.”

Kisame: “Everyone knows your name. Everyone knows your first and last name. Why the need to show your initials on every shirt you own?”

Itachi: “In case Sasuke shows up and wonders if it’s actually me or not.”

Kisame: “......Oh Ok.”

Deidara: “Tobi you look bloody ridiculous.”

Tobi: “I’m expressing myself, Senpai! I think I look super cool!”

Deidara: “Hah, yeah, and I’m a shitty artist. Keep dreaming.”

Obito: “Can’t dream what’s already a reality, you half baked son of a-”

Deidara: “Eh? Did you say something?”

Tobi: “Nnnnnope!!”

Pein: “I’m sorry, everyone. I’m trying to make this meeting sound formal.”

Pein: “But I keep getting distracted by Zetsu changing shirts every couple of minutes.”

White Zetsu: “I’m sorry! I don’t like swear words on my clothes!”

Black Zetsu: “Fucking pansy it’s COOL okay people will think we’re COOL.”

Hidan: “MORE SHIRTS WITH SWEAR WORDS ON THEM!”

Pein: “This is why I dress in all black, Konan.”

S/O “Mum, dad! This is my boyfriend!”

Parent: “Oh uh....hello.”

Pein: “Do my facial piercings make you nervous? There is no need; they are harmless. Usually.”

S/O: “Isn’t he funny!?”

Parent: “......sure.”

S/O: “Parents. This is my girlfriend.”

S/O: “She is very pretty so please like her.”

Konan “Don’t worry I show a lot more emotion than he does~”

Parent: “Oh thank god.”

Pein: “You’re welcome.”

S/O: “Mum, this is my boyfriend! He’s an artist!”

Parent: “An artist huh? What kind of art?”

Deidara: “I like um....art of the...large hands on side of things.”

Parent: “Oh? Like sculpting stuff?”

Deidara: “Yeees....?”

S/O: “Deidara likes to set things on fire!”

Parent: “.......what?”

Deidara: “It’s ART dammit!!”

Parent: “Can I....help you?

Sasori: “I apologise for coming onto your property uninvited. My name is Sasori and I am dating your child now.”

Parent: “......”

Sasori: “I just wanted to assure you there is no need for concern. Every part of my body is artificially made. I will look after them just as well as I look after myself.”

Parent: “I’m....going to call the police if you don’t leave.”

Parent: “Hello?”

Hidan: “Yeah hi. Just wanted to let you know your spawn is dead.”

Parent: “W-What??”

Hidan: “I mean they were a great sacrifice substitute but I mean kinda shitty at the same time because it was nothing special in the end.”

Parent: “Are you telling me you KILLED my child????”

Hidan: “Technically they killed themselves by showing interest in a follower of Jashin but sure we can put it that way.”

S/O: “Dad, this is Kakuzu. We’re dating!”

Parent: “Dating?? How old is this man??”

Kakuzu: “Excuse you that is a very rude first impression.”

Parent: “Sorry.....I’m just a little shocked.”

S/O: “It’s fine dad! He asked me out so sweetly! Asked me if I’d give him my heart!”

Kakuzu: “We’re still on for doing that tonight right?”

Parent: “Honey who is this?”

S/O: “This is Itachi! He’s my ....well, new boyfriend I guess!”

Parent: “You guess..?”

S/O: “Well he’s uh....blind? And he kind of stumbled into me and mistook me for someone else so....surprise!”

Itachi: “Are you talking to Kisame?? I’ve been looking for him everywhere!.”

Parent: “Oh dear.”

Parent: “HOLY SHIT.”

Parent: “I mean uh....sweetie who is this??”

S/O: “This is Kisame mum. He’s my boyfriend.”

Parent: “Honey you are dating a SHARK.”

Kisame: “Half shark actually. On my mothers side. She told me never to judge anyone based on their appearance....as a side note.”

Parent: “That’s a....good lesson to teach.”

Tobi: “Hi! I’m Tobi! I’m dating your-”

Parent: “Who is this lost child, S/O?”

S/O: “His name is Tobi. I’m going to be dating him from now on~”

Tobi: “Don’t worry! Tobi will look after them and treat them well and buy them stuffed toys and chocolate!”

Parent: “He’s......a bit....”

S/O: “Oh don’t worry, he has a very serious side as well!”

White Zetsu: “Why did you have to do that???”

Black Zetsu: “Look I’m sorry okay? I just got kind of hungry and-”

White Zetsu: “You ATE both our S/O AND their parents!! Now we’re alone...again.”

Black Zetsu: “We have each other.”

White Zetsu: “Hooray.”

Pein likes to post images of quotes. Like the kind of “inspirational” text photos you see on the internet with pretty backgrounds and fancy fonts. All of the quotes are his. Some are a little disturbing. 

Currently has: 24 followers. 

Konan uses Instagram religiously. She posts everything: her origami, photos of nature, of Pein, of her bedroom. There’s even one of Kisame sleepwalking. She hashtags a lot, so she’s gained quite a few followers (she follows back almost everyone too). 

Currently has: 899 followers. 

Posts his clay art with the hashtag #betterthansasoris on every single photo. No one really knows what it means. If people say it looks bad he argues back before reporting and blocking them as he doesn’t take criticism very well. People tend to follow him just for the hilarity of it.

Currently has: 1010 followers. 

Doesn’t really post on instagram. He has about 4 photos posted. Three are of Hiruko. The other is of Deidara shaving his legs that he uses as blackmail.

Currently has: 100 followers, surprisingly. 

His Instagram is aimed at promoting the organizations that help stop the illegal finning of sharks. Actually, there’s only one organization. It’s his. He doesn’t have too many followers (although there is one user named “suigethoes” who comments on EVERYTHING).

Currently has: 37 followers.

Itachi posts baby photos of Sasuke. A lot. He posts at least once a day and often reposts photos because he doesn’t really have too many available. People adore them, though. Sasuke found the account once. He deleted his own account shortly after. 

Currently has: 900 followers. 

Hidan has had around about 20 different accounts that have all been banned. He just keeps making more because he finds it hilarious. The reason being is that he posts very very gruesome photos of his sacrifices. He’s got a backlog of them so he doesn’t really ever run out of content. 

Currently has: 3 followers. But it fluctuates, obviously. 

Kakuzu tried Instagram. Once. He tried to use it to have people donate money for his ‘medical bills’. When people asked him for proof he deleted his account and never went back.

Currently has: 0 followers. 

Obito, under the disguise of Tobi, literally just posts photos of Deidara. It doesn’t even matter if they’re good or not. He’s got super pretty looking high resolution photos and super blurry close ups of Deidara eating. Deidara has reported the account many times but nothing ever gets done about it.

Currently has: 3000 followers. Deidara isn’t happy.

Zetsu either posts in bulk or doesn’t post for months. It depends which side of him is using it at the time. Black Zetsu never posts anything; White Zetsu posts photos of plants. He posted a close up of his flytrap once to see if anyone could tell it was him. No one could. He was ecstatic. 

Currently has: 102 followers. 

Pein: “I just did what Konan told me to do. I don’t really ‘get’ Halloween.”

Konan: “Shhhh just go with it!”

Konan: “And now we match, Pein!”

Pein: “I don’t see any difference to how you normally look.”

Konan: “Aww that’s sweet.”

Deidara: “Behold! The best costume of the night!”

Hidan: “That shit isn’t scary.”

Deidara: “It doesn’t HAVE to be scary!”

Hidan: “Want me to cut your arm off? Then you can be a dismembered elf!”

Deidara: “N O.”

Deidara: “Kinda boring don’t you think?”

Sasori: “I don’t care. I get to cover my entire body in a sheet. Sounds good to me.”

Deidara: “Well....at least you’re out of that damn puppet.”

Sasori: “Hiruko is dressed as a ghost too.”

Deidara: “That’s cheating!”

Hidan: “IS NOT. I’m a skeleton! Plain and simple.”

Deidara: “You can’t just slap on your stupid ritual form and call it a skeleton costume!”

Hidan: “NO ONE WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE IT’S FINE.”

Hidan: “Lame.”

Kakuzu: “Shut up. This is the scariest thing I could think of.”

Hidan: “Seriously?”

Kakuzu: “Yes. There is nothing scarier than someone who can empty your bank account in less than 5 minutes.”

Kisame: “I used the wrappings from Samehada!”

Itachi: “......”

Kisame: “They smell kind of bad but it adds to the costume!”

Kisame: “Nice.....tail?”

Itachi: “I feel cute.”

Kisame: “I.......oh.”

Itachi: “Woof.”

Tobi: “Get it Senpai?? I made my head look like a pumpkin!”

Deidara: “It’s an improvement!”

Tobi: “.....Thank you?”

Deidara: “Yeesh. That’s just eerily uncomfortable.”

White Zetsu: “We used paint to create one skin tone. And got rid of our fly trap.”

Black Zetsu: “And coloured contacts too!”

Deidara: “Okay okay you win just stop staring at me already!”

Pein: “Uhm....well...this is nice.”

Konan: “Why did you order a room with two beds?”

Pein: “...uhh...”

Konan: “C’mon let’s push them together!”

Deidara: “Don’t even think about trying to poison me in my sl-...wait, why are you climbing into your puppet?!”

Sasori: “I sleep in Hiruko.”

Deidara: “.....”

Sasori: “It’s comfortable.”

Kakuzu: “Hidan what are you doing?”

Hidan: “Building a wall out of pillows so I don’t have to look at or think about your ugly as fuck face.”

Kakuzu: “You do realize that you only have about 4 pillows, right?”

Hidan: “Shut the fuck up I hate this and I hate you I’M GONNA GO SLEEP IN THE BATHROOM.”

Itachi: “Goodnight, Kisame.”

Kisame: “Night Itachi! Night Samehada!”

Itachi: “.....Kisame your sword is trying to take over my bed.”

Kisame: “Don’t try to move him or he’ll eat you.”

Zetsu: “.....”

Tobi: “......”

Zetsu: “So....Pein, huh?”

Tobi: “Yeah what a jerk.”

Pein: “Something warm. Like a yellow or an orange. Maybe like the colour of honey or something. Actually Konan’s eyes are the perfect example.”

Pein: “That way even when it’s cold I’ll feel warm around them.”

Konan: “Awww....I don’t think that’s how temperature works though Pein.”

Konan: “I don’t really have a preference. Eye colour doesn’t matter to me.”

Konan: “I don’t generally stare into anyone's eyes. Except for Pein’s. I guess he has nice eyes.”

Pein: “My eyes are superior to anyone elses. It’s a known fact.”

Deidara: “Oh man I’m with Pein on this one!”

Deidara: “Though maybe leaning more towards the deeper oranges and reds because then it would look like an explosion in their eyes!”

Sasori: “So like....an Uchiha?”

Deidara: “WHAT EW NO.”

Sasori: “The colour of ones eyes means nothing to me.”

Sasori: “Why would I care about such trivial things in the first place.”

Sasori: “An eye colour I DON’T like, however, is blue. Never blue.”

Deidara: “Are you trying to insult me? Because it’s working.”

Hidan: “Hmmmmmm.......red.”

Kakuzu: “Wow I didn’t see that coming at all.”

Hidan: “Because their eyes would probably be red after I’ve sacrificed them anyway so why worry about other colours?”

Kakuzu: “You have problems.”

Kakuzu: “Easy. Green.”

Kakuzu: “Green is the colour of money, and wealth. The greener their eyes, the more wealthy they will seem to me.”

Kakuzu: “Of course, this doesn’t mean I would sell them or anything. Ha Ha.”

Kakuzu: “Maybe.”

Kisame: “I’m gonna have to be generic here and say blue.”

Kisame: “Blue is the colour of the ocean, which I love. And many sharks are blue, which I love.”

Kisame: “And I’m blue as well! So it’s like we would match!”

Itachi: “It would have to be something bright, so I could notice them easier.”

Itachi: “I mean with my eyesight and all it would be kind of hard to pinpoint really dark eyes in a partner.”

Itachi: “So maybe like....a green? Or a blue? But it would have to be really bright. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to see them.”

Zetsu: “We both agree that green would be the best colour.”

Kakuzu: “Obviously you share my view on things then!”

Zetsu: “What? No. Green just reminds us of plants. And if they remind us of a plant then we’d be less likely to eat them.”

Kakuzu: “Why do I bother.”

Tobi: “......”

Tobi: “Brown.”

Zetsu: “That’s surprisingly different of you.”

Tobi: “I like brown eyes. They remind me of Ri-......chocolate. They remind me of chocolate.”

Team Mystic

Argues that Mystic is superior to everything else. No one knows why.

Pein: “Team Mystic is obviously the superior team when it comes to skills and intelligence. Doesn’t take a genius to understand that.”

Team Mystic

Doesn’t really care about the team rivalries.

Konan: “Honestly I only joined this team because Pein begged me to. I kinda preferred Instinct but....eh. The bird is pretty I guess.”

Team Instinct

Liked the look of Zapdos. Also liked what Instinct stands for in regards to egg hatching.

Itachi: “There’s too much conflict between the other two teams. At least this one does it’s own thing without forming rivalries.”

Team Instinct

Was late to get the game. Joined Instinct because of all the Spark memes. 

Kisame: “I love this team because the leader is a MEME now. Oh and I wanted to be on the same team as Itachi so everything worked out in the end!”

Team Valor

Uses his bird to fly all over the place in one day looking for Pokemon. Picked Valor because they’re the “coolest”.

Deidara: “VALOR IS THE GREATEST I mean LOOK I literally just flew into the mist village and caught a Lapras and NO ONE COULD STOP ME!”

Team Mystic

Doesn’t really play but joined Mystic because Pein did.

Sasori: “I caught a “Weedle” today whatever that is. That’s my third Pokey-mon so far. Deidara keeps yelling at me to play more.”

Team Mystic

Agrees with Pein on the whole superior thing. Also did it so he wouldn’t have to be in the same team as Hidan.

Kakuzu: “I’m playing the game ONLY because it’s free. And I want to catch and name the lazy fat one Hidan. Then put him in a gym, let him die and never revive him.”

Team Valor

Initially picked it because of the colour but then found out it was the team that gets associated with being hot headed and stupid. Wanted in on that.

Hidan: “I CAUGHT LIKE 100 POKEMON TODAY AND MOST OF THEM WERE PIDGEYS BUT I DON’T CARE NOW I CAN HAVE THAT SICK ASS BIRD AND CALL IT “FUCKDICKSHIT”.

Team Valor

Picked it because Deidara did. Wants to be on the cool team.

Tobi: “Senpai!! We’re on the same team isn’t that cool! I’ve caught about 10 of those bird things and named them all after you!!”

Team Mystic/Team Instinct 

White Zetsu wanted Team Instinct. Black Zetsu wanted Team Mystic. So they created two accounts. 

Black Zetsu: “Okay seriously it’s my turn now let me change the account.”

White Zetsu: “No wait! I want to hatch all these 2km eggs first! I might get one of those egg things and then we can evolve it into the tree and call it Zetsu Jr!”

Pein would hardly blog at all. In fact, he still has the generic theme and avatar. Konan made him make one when she did and he hasn’t touched it since. Sometimes people misread his username as something a lot dirtier.

Post 1: This is my Tumblr. I’m a god. Okay bye. 

Konan would blog about papercraft, and would also reblog pretty scenery and nature. Most people assume she’s a flower blog because she posts so much of it. 

Post 67: Look how pretty these orchids are!

Post 109: Here is my 10 step guide on how to make a paper rose!

Post 186: Shout out to peinisgod109 for never posting anything. 

Sasori would post, you guessed it, puppets. He would hardly ever reblog posts and would mostly upload photos of his own work. He’s gained quite a following but doesn’t really know why.

Post 3: Here’s some progress on Hiruko

Post 10: Updated some of Hiruko’s hidden weapons.

Post 11: Wait how do I delete posts?? I shouldn’t have given that away

Deidara would have two blogs. One is to post his clay work and reblog pictures of explosions. The other is to reblog Sasori’s posts and add commentary onto the end of them.

Post 23: Haha this puppet looks really stupid

Post 25: You call THIS art??? This is garbage

Post 26: Hey ScorpionPuppet your art sucks and so do you

Hidan hardly ever uses his blog but when he does he just mass posts photos of blood and gore. He doesn’t even bother to tag them and mocks people who ask him to. A few people think he’s just trying to be edgy. 

Post 87: This blood looks FUCKING AWESOME

Post 156: HMU IF YOU WANNA GET MURDERED

Post 200: STOP ASKING ME TO TAG SHIT I’M NOT GONNA DO IT

Kakuzu doesn’t use Tumblr. When he first got it he thought it was stupid. But he DID set up a queue to post those “reblog the money cat” things on the same day every month for a couple years. 

Post 1: This is the money cat; reblog in the next 24 hours, and money will surely come your way!

Post 2: This is the money cat; reblog in the next 24 hours, and money will surely come your way!

Post 3: This is the money cat; reblog in the next 24 hours, and money will surely come your way!

Kisame only hops on Tumblr about once a month when he’s bored. He reblogs photos of sharks and comments on how majestic they look. He uploaded a selfie once but got spammed with hate mail over “bad photoshop skills”.

Post 24: This hammer head is A+++

Post 32: Look at the fin on that great white!!

Post 45: That mako looks like she could kill a man without any effort.

Itachi doesn’t post anything. At all. He only follows Sasuke and likes everything that he posts. And occasionally sends the odd anon message.

Anon message 1: You are super awesome. Just letting you know.

Anon message 3: Hope you’re having a great day today!!

Anon message 5: Reminder that you are loved by many people :)))

He has two accounts; much like Deidara. On the first he posts photos of cute animals and positive, uplifting things. He follows Deidara religiously and reblogs every single one of his posts. On his other blog he brags about how smart he is, reblogs photos of the universe and complains about his co-workers. 

Post 34: I LOVE THIS BUNNY!! SO CUTE OMG!!

Post 67: DEIDARA YOU ARE THE BEST ARTIST EVER!!!

Post 89: Today I had the displeasure of working again with a so called “lover of art”. This man drives me up the wall. I really want to strangle him. So badly. And then maybe set him on fire. 

Zetsu reblogs plants. That’s it. He sometimes reblogs things that Konan posts and likes things that Hidan posts. His profile picture is a leaf. 

Post 19: Cycle of a flower’s photosynthesis 

Post 23: This tree has beautiful branches. It must be very old. 

Post 42: Deforestation is the WORST. 

Pein: “How dare you bring a resident of Konoha into our secret base.”

Pein: “The whereabouts of this place is CLASSIFIED, Itachi!”

Pein: “And it’s a HAZARD. She might get hurt. Hidan might stab her. Or she might touch some of Deidara’s-”

Itachi: “You sound more concerned for her well being than you do for our location.”

Pein: “I....shut up.”

Konan: “Awww she’s so cute! I love your glasses!”

Sarada: “Thanks! I love your hair flower!”

Konan: “Itachi... please let me babysit her instead.”

Itachi: “No, because all you’re going to do is ask her to make origami with you.”

Konan: “Well NO ONE else will!”

Kisame: “She looks like the woman Sasuke used to travel with.”

Kisame: “You know err.....Karin. That was her name.”

Kisame: “Are you sure she’s not-”

Itachi: “NO Kisame, she is not, so don’t finish that sentence.”

Hidan: “Who the fuck is this? Can I sacrifice her?”

Itachi: “No, Hidan.”

Hidan: “Can I at least fatally wound her?”

Itachi: “NO, Hidan.”

Kakuzu: “Children are expensive. I will have no part in this.”

Sarada: “ACTUALLY, I’ve managed to save half of my weekly allowance every week so I can pretty much afford to look after myself.”

Kakuzu: “I like you. Let’s talk business.”

Itachi: “Kakuzu she’s saving for a new outfit don’t even think about it.”

Deidara: “I thought the minimum age to enter the Akatsuki was like 18??”

Itachi: “She’s not joining us. I’m babysitting for my brother.”

Deidara: “Ohhh she’s Sasuke’s kid!”

Deidara: “I hate her already!”

Sasori: “Can I borrow her, Itachi?”

Itachi: “Borrow?? For what?!”

Sasori: “I’m trying to build smaller puppets and her body size is PERFECT for a base!”

Sarada: “Ohhh can I?? I love dressing up!”

Itachi: “I....I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

W. Zetsu: “Aren’t you just adorable!”

B. Zetsu: “Why is your name Salad??? Do you like vegetables??”

Sarada: “I.....I like some vegetables I guess. I don’t know why I’m called-”

B. Zetsu: “Do you TASTE like vegetables??”

W. Zetsu: “Don’t be so rude!”

Obito: “A female Uchiha. I never thought I’d see the day!”

Obito: “This means the clan will finally be restored!”

Sarada: “Why are you talking about my clan like you know it?”

Tobi: “BECAUSE TOBI LIKES UCHIHAS AHAHAHA...HA...Ahhh...”

Pein: *squints his eyes*

Pein: “......what?”

Konan: “Wait, so “Tobi” who turned out to be “Madara”, who then turned out to be “Obito” wasn’t even behind this?”

Konan: “I planted FLOWERS with this guy! And he played me like a fiddle. Goddamit I can’t trust anyone anymore.”

Sasori: “Considering the amount of shit this organization has been through, it doesn’t really surprise me.”

Deidara: “How would you know? You were the first to die.”

Sasori: “Why did I have to end up in the afterlife with you.”

Deidara: “I could have stopped this whole thing if I had KNOWN in the first place.”

Deidara: “I could have blown him up and everything would have been fine.”

Black Zetsu: “Yeah but you died, so jokes on you asshole.”

Hidan: “Okay so it was bad enough that we thought it was the fucking Tobi kid who was behind it, but now the PLANT?!”

Hidan: “What the fuck kind of shitty bad guy are you? You don’t even DO anything. You PHOTOSYNTHESIZE FOR FUN.”

Black Zetsu: “Okay in my defense that was more the white side who liked doing that.”

Kakuzu: “I’m with Sasori. Doesn’t surprise me.”

Kakuzu: “Although I AM curious as to what you spent all of the organizations leftover money that I TEDIOUSLY collected on.”

Black Zetsu: “Oh, I got bored so I ate most of it when I didn’t have anything else.”

Kakuzu: “Oh my fucking-”

Kisame: “So this guy was actually working for the mother of all chakra?”

Kisame: “....”

Kisame: “I’m a little upset that he didn’t take more interest in the large 6ft shark man with superhuman chakra levels.”

Itachi: “This is getting tedious.”

Itachi: “First an Uchiha, and now a disciple of the Rabbit Goddess?”

Itachi: “How about we just draw a name out of a hat for the next one. It actually turns out that SAKURA was behind everything oh my what a shocker.”

Black Zetsu: “I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.”

Obito: “You are literally the worst.”

Pein: “Konan, make sure that everyone knows how to send me their weekly report via text I am god.”

Pein: “Oh and if you can bring me a coffee too, that would be great I am god.”

Konan: “Do you have a signature for texting?”

Pein: “What’s that? I am god.”

Konan: “ ／(･ × ･)＼ “

Pein: “What is that supposed to mean? I am god.”

Konan: “It’s a bunny!! (^ _ ^)/ “

Pein: “Oh. Very nice Konan. I am god.”

Deidara: “Hey”

Deidara: “Hey”

Deidara: “Hey”

Sasori: “WHAT do you want you idiot?”

Deidara: “Your art sucks get a real hobby.”

Pein: “Sasori did you manage to get that scroll I asked about? I am god.”

Pein: “..... I am god.”

Sasori: “Yea”

Pein: “I sent that 5 days ago it doesn’t matter anymore. I am god.”

Hidan: “Ur a fucgucking asshol get a lif”

Kakuzu: “What the...what the hell does that even say?!”

Hidan: “fcuk u jerk shitty asswipe monee loviing pice of shit”

Kakuzu: “Don’t ever text me again.”

Kakuzu: “Your bank account has been hacked into. Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”

Kisame: “Kakuzu I saved your number onto my phone I know it’s you”

Kakuzu: “Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”

Kisame: “That means no.”

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

Itachi: “If you love your brother send this to TEN PEOPLE. If you don’t then you will have BAD LUCK for the next 10 years!!”

Sasuke: “Itachi....”

Itachi: “YOU HAVE JUST BEEN VISITED BY THE FAMILY ANGEL! Pass this on to five people and you will be loved for the rest of your life!”

Sasuke: “Itachi stop.”

???: “You are the worst leader I have ever had the misfortune to take orders from.”

Pein: “WHO IS THIS? I am god.”

???: “Your hair looks stupid.”

Hidan: “I AM GIONG TO DUCKING KILL WHOEVR THIS IS.”

???: “Samehada doesn’t really love you.”

Kisame: “You are a cruel, heartless person who doesn’t deserve happiness.”

Zetsu: “Happy national tree day.”

Konan: “You too.”

???: “I’m gonna chop down a tree today.”

Kisame: “Right back at ya Zetsu.”

Pein: “Konan did you file those papers I asked you to sort through?”

Konan: “Mhm.”

Pein: “Okay good, next I need you to sort out ordering a new hat for Deidara-”

Konan: “Yeah okay gimme a minute I need to beat Tobi’s high score.”

Pein: “You’re playing that stupid game again aren’t you?”

Kisame: “Itachi, using genjutsu is hella cheating.”

Itachi: “No it’s not. There are no rules and therefore no way to possibly cheat in something like this.”

Kisame: “You’ve been at it for over an hour, no wonder you’re going blind.”

Kakuzu: “Hey Hidan, I bet you 1000 Ryo that you can’t get a score over 30.″

Hidan: “HA! You’re on old man!”

-2 hours later-

Hidan: “GoD FUCKING DAMMIT OKAY THIS TIME FOR SURE.”

Kakuzu: “Yeah yeah keep going I’m sure you can do it.”

Sasori: “Deidara I’ve been trying to have a conversation with you for 30 minutes now and you haven’t been paying attention. WHAT is so much more interesting?!”

Deidara: “This stupid new game that Tobi made me download is pissing me off but the idiot said I wouldn’t be able to beat his high score so now I MUST play it until I can.”

Sasori: “And you wonder why people say you’re stupid.”

Deidara: “Eh? Sorry did you say something?”

Zetsu: “Did...did you make every single member of the Akatsuki download that game?”

Tobi: “Yup!”

Zetsu: “The one that drives people insane?”

Tobi: “Yup!”

Zetsu: “The one that made Hidan go on a rampage and made Deidara blow up his phone by accident?”

Tobi: “I’d say it’s been a pretty successful day, don’t you?”

Pein: “What do you think Konan; handsome isn’t it?”

Konan: “......”

Konan: “Sure.”

Deidara: “How’d you get the wings so big?!”

Konan: “That’s my secret.”

Pein: “Deidara I didn’t realize you were this stupid.”

Kisame: “Stop being so boring and enjoy yourself for once.”

Itachi: “I am enjoying myself!”

Itachi: “I don’t have to have frozen water thrown at my head to have fun.”

Sasori: “You have 5 seconds to release me.”

Kisame: “Or what?? You’ll yell at me?!”

Sasori: “I swear when I get out of here I’m going to hurt you.”

Kisame: “When.”

Hidan: “Shom hethlp pleathse?!?”

Kakuzu: “Ha. Haha. No. How did you get stuck in the first place?”

Hidan: “......Wanted to shee if it chould achtually happenth...”

Kisame: “Isn’t that just snow.....with food dye poured on top?”

Kakuzu: “I call it “The Akatsuki’s Frozen Dessert””

Kisame: “Oh my god you’re actually selling snow to people...and people are falling for it.”

Deidara: “Heads up Kakuzu!!”

Kakuzu: “If that snowball hits me I will inflict so much pain on you that you won’t be able to see straight for a week.”

Deidara: “....”

Kakuzu: “Go throw them at Hidan, he’s an easier target.”

Hidan: “FTHUCK YOUH”

Zetsu: “Any luck?”

Sasori: “No. The damn legs keep falling off.”

Zetsu: “Well....maybe...because...it’s snow...”

Tobi: “Awwww come on Leader! Get into the snow day spirit! Konan is!”

Pein: “No. I refuse to wear these ridiculous antlers and be labelled as a ‘reindeer’”

Tobi: “But Hidan’s wearing his!”

Hidan: “ASDFFGHJLISPHDA”

Konan: “Hey Zetsu can you-”

Zetsu: “No.”

Konan: “But I just-”

Zetsu: “NO.”

Konan: “But the star will look so good on your head!”