The boy who came from Slistas: in which I theorise that Qifrey is a tree

So I have read Witch Hat Atelier, I have connected way too many dots, and I have concluded that Qifrey is a silver tree who was turned human and experimented upon to allow the Brimhats to perform blood magic. And he is a little freaked out about the whole situation.

Please come dive down that rabbit hole with me (detailed spoilers up to Chapter 40 under the cut):

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Olruggio: Qifrey, you're ignoring your problems!

Qifrey: I'm aware.

Olruggio: But that's not healthy...

Qifrey: I've decided to ignore that, too.