Fuck it, classics predictions for Tumblr in 2024
- Terfs will go so far in their bio essentialism that they will insist that women are fundamentally cold and wet and men are hot and dry, due to being cooked more in the womb
- Fake Tumblr activism will accidentally bring back the Oppian Laws
- Aeneas will become Tumblrs new poor little meow meow but only after someone publishes a retelling where he and Turnus are in love
- Someone invents another fake goddess
- Oracle of Delphi blog emerges to catalogue Tumblr moments of prophecy
general predictions for 2024:
alex jones ODs on his own supplements
kamala harris attends the met gala in a dress that says Coexist on it
biden falls over and breaks something
someone sets the oval office on fire for like two seconds with a lavender scented candle
wearing dead plants becomes trendy
shoulder pads from the 90s return in full force
teachers in elementary schools start making tutorials for tiny paper stars as a coping mechanism for early onset existential dread in 4th graders
mental health goes downhill (generally)
we have another 9/11 on april the 17th
jeffree stars gets arrested at a jan 6th style coup on december the 22nd
adult bluey fans create a comic con style event that you have to be at least 21 years of age to attend
three species of whale go extinct
king charles dies before march 26 due to health complications which arose from his persistent desire to eat wet grass
baby sloths become very popular among white suburban families. half of adopted sloths die within three weeks of reaching adulthood
flying squirrels take over the internet
NASA sends Elon musk to space. he does not return
half of Congress dies in the span of 8 1/2 weeks
the Economy suffers Yet Another Crash
someone doxxes Jeff bezos and leaks his credit card information and home adress
netflix makes an animated TV show based on the ACOTAR books
jay rivera herrans receives eight grammy awards