You're a Terrible Spy, Cowboy

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mums out there! {via}

no not that one

I wonder if Thor’s Allspeak extends to animals

Bee: *is present*

Thor, turning to Tony: He says this stupid damn city needs more flowers and pollen-bearing plants because you’re making him have to work a 16-hour shift every day just to feed his wife and kids

Tony: What the fuck Thor we’ve talked about this

Dog: *Bark bark bark*

Thor, sternly: No, Captain America’s pants are not fit for consumption

Steve, with no idea that Thor can speak dog: ???!?!????!!!??

Fly: *hums*

Thor, leaping from his chair: Oh what the FUCK did you say about my hair?? Oh you want to fuckign go do you?? Is that what you fucking want??? Well Step the FUCK UP then you stupid ass buzzy BITCH *summons lightning*

DUM-E: *Beep boops*

Thor, patting Tony on the back: well done my friend

Tony: For what?

Thor: Your robot is telling me all about how well his dad oiled up his joints this morning and keeps saying ‘I love him’ on repeat. He has been doing this for an hour.

Tony, immediately tearing up: oh my fucking god Thor

Equally funny: the idea that Allspeak doesn’t extend to animals and Thor is just making all this up to fuck with everyone

Scott, holding up his ant farm, tearing up: plEASE tell me if they love me.

Night at the Museum 2

This scene changed my life

cranch cranch

munch the gourd

lov the cronch

look at this weird horse eat a melon

I don’t like to call Frankenstein’s creation a ‘monster’ because he seems pretty chill, so I just call him Frankenstein’s lil boi

*new yorker accent* yeah, that’s guy’s just Frankie’s kid, what’s it to ya?

“Yeah that’s Frankie’s kid, his pop dont treat ‘im right, neither do most people round here, but he ain’t a bad kid, just in a bad sitiation”

if u don’t kiss ur cat on their tiny soft little forehead wtf are u even doing

Yelling at her for trying to eat plastic

say what you want, but this shit was better than the scene in legally blonde when elle wins her case

elle and jake wouldn’t make it a competition, they’d want us to appreciate the other for doing a darn good job.

This scene had me whooping like a white suburban dad at their son’s football game

the whole “i used to be a teen who hated authority only to grow up to become the authority that hates teens” is a bad bad thing that practically every other generation has fallen into and we all need to make an extremely conscious effort not to repeat the fucking pattern

Studies have shown that the shift starts to happen around age 30. If you’re close to that, make a conscious effort to be open to and accepting of younger people. I’m 31 and paying close attention to how I react to young people and new trends and shit and trying to keep myself from developing those thought patterns.

noted

(via alyssemazakian)

i just bawled my eyes out and it feels like i just got the biggest hug to my soul. thank you thank you thank you. it is sacred and it is SAFE the poster will not tell anyone even what state this is in, only thats this is in USA. even if you are not indigenous i hope this lifts your spirits and comforts you.

#for those who dont know for the Lakota ppl#a white buffalo is a sacred symbol of hope and restoration i believe#i am not Lakota but i am so happy for you all !!

Welcome to the world, white buffalo. Come through.

#i love a nerd

Instagram: @maloart

WHAT

What We Do In The Shadows (2014) dir. Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement

so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait… and she was like you’ll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we’re holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom.