ARTHUR: He's our dad. TOMMY: He's a selfish bastard. ARTHUR: Who are you callin' a selfish bastard?

Book of hours, Flemish, circa 1460

from The Philadelphia Museum of Art

Artúr Heyer (1872 - 1931) 

Cats at Play

Halls of Mandos

✨️trop men and if they could get you off based mostly on vibes ✨️

💕Now to level the playing field let's give a simple y/n on if they could get the job done during your first time together and the overall mood of the evening. Mildly nsfw (I'm not gonna get too detailed...unless 👀)

Adar💀 Yes. Woof, not to get too crass right off the bat but daddy is the name he earned so yes absolutely. Also brace yourself it will be kinkier than you think and it will awaken something in you. And it would start off painfully slow just easing you into it lightly. Seems like a great opportunity to try things you've been curious about but beware you're getting into like five kinks that haven't even crossed you mind before. One minute you're having a romantic candle lit dinner then Bam youre wearing a chain collar with his name on it.

Elrond 😇 Oh, god bless. No. Baby I'm sorry but no. That being said it would still be a great time with really positive vibes. But Elrond would get too in his own head thinking about options and the best 'plan of attack' to actually deliver. Plus he would play it super safe not wanting to off put you in anyway and thus would kill the passion a bit. Still would be the biggest sweetheart and over all give you a fun time. (Give him time to build his confidence though lotr Elrond Fucks for sure)

Halbrand 🐶 LISTEN Listen listen...No. Hear me out. I just-I feel it in my blood that this guy will rizz you so hard and talk such a big game and than when he time comes it's just ok at best. Like he's made at least one person come before and thinks he has cracked the code. Still his heart's (seemingly) in the right place and its pretty romantic over all. Lots and lots of cuddling.

Annatar 🐱 Yes. And it's amazing but the vibes are terrible. He gets way too intense too fast. He's the kind of guy to say some really weird shit during. Like not even anything dirty just waxing poetic about how you're part of each now and the bond of your bodies is inescapable even in death. And he waaay into talking about how you belong to him now and you're just like?? Is he just talking crazy in the heat of the moment or ?? Also no aftercare and he's 100% gone when you wake up.

Arondir 🏹 Yes. And it's Good but not as romantic as you were hoping. He's into you but Arondir def doesn't realize what a catch he is and is surprised that you're so here for him. Also buddy's got a lot going on so he's still gonna be pretty guarded emotionally. Still he's extremely respectful and such a good kisser like he's got your head spinning and you've barely started.

Elendil 🗡 No. But he tries hard and it's a great time. He's kinda got that big puppy Halbrand thing going on but like genuine. Def more into you than you are him. Elendil will rizz you with care. Pays very close attention to what you like/want. Even if it doesnt happen he's fine with talking about it, even makes a few light jokes at his expense. He's terribly good at putting you at ease. By the end of the night you're more smitten than you first thought.

Celebrimor 💍 Yes. Are you kidding me?We're talking mastery, we're talking attentiveness, we're talking about a very smitten old man that's going to court you with his whole heart. The vibes are impeccable and he's going to make it known that taking care of you is his top priority. Additionally I can't explain why but you know this man's head game is god tier.

Gil Galad 🏵 Yes. Don't even get me started on how this man is gonna rock your world. The high king is a big guy so it's go big or go home when it comes to love and affection. He doesn't allow himself to pursue romance often but when he does he goes hard. In terms of the act itself and the amount of extravagance and detail he'd put into wooing you. Plus cmon you know he's stressed and pent up as hell. Brace yourself for being be absolutely worshipped All night. You're in for a wicked case of jelly legs and you're not going anywhere.

Attic Room    -   Louis Icart , 1940

French,  1888-1950

Back from under the ground

Art in bed would include:

nsfw

🔪🩸🔥💋 sending Art spicy texts when he’s in the middle of a killing spree… 😚💦👅🫦

Parings: Art x Reader

Summary: You fall asleep next to Art while riding the subway, and then he walks you home

Warnings: Mention of blood/killings/serial killers, talk of drunk men, talk of drugs, a mean male subway driver

Word count: 1203

A/N: tehehehehfkbdfk i hope u like ittt🙈🙈 it’s not the besssttt. i did this in one sitting within like 10 minutes HAHHA. i will do better stuff in the near future but Yes!woooo

Art was the talk of the town. “The killer clown is back again!” “Art the serial killer clown was spotted?” “5 killings that all lead to a killer clown. People have seen a black and white clown with blood all over him. They thought it was fake blood but they’re having second thoughts.” Art the clown.

You obviously heard of him. You’ve always had an odd obsession with serial killers and true crime documentaries. It’s a.. passion, some would say. You wondered if Art had any motive, or if he just killed whoever he thought of killing. Did he kill people because they were mean to him? Judging? Or did he just kill anyone, even if they didn’t pay him any mind at all. Did he feel anything when he killed? Did he feel anything at all?

You wished you could see him in real life. What can you say? Your have questionable interests.

You’re currently on the subway, sitting down with your headphones in. You’ve had a long day today. It’s about 8pm and all you want to do is get home and sleep.

“dating” Art would include…

Art the Clown x Reader

You always wondered what it would be like to have someone fall madly in love with you. You'd imagined it as a sort of dreamy scenario, plucked straight out of romance books, or maybe a Hallmark movie.

All it takes is one smile; that's how most of these stories usually begin. You were waiting for your coffee when you happened to glance across the diner and notice a costumed man. By the time you made the discovery, he'd already been observing you intently. He flashed you a wide smile, decaying teeth glistening underneath the smudged lipstick grotesquely contouring his mouth. Intrigued, you returned his gesture, shyly waving at the stranger.

It was obsession at first sight.

One could argue that whatever you're dealing with resembles a romance, albeit a terribly gory one. Days after your fateful encounter, you were surprised to find the same man standing before your house. Was that a bouquet of roses hiding behind his back? Almost! It was a bloodied axe, thick red liquid splattering down your pavement in thin streams.

You ran outside, horrified, and nearly stumbled over the dismembered body scattered across your lawn.

"Oh, God," you cried out. You immediately recognized your ex.

You know, the annoying one who wouldn't leave you alone. The one who kept following you around, insisting for a second chance.

"This is a nightmare," you whined. "I'll never be able to wash this out."

The clown carefully placed the axe down, then bowed before you theatrically. This was his way of flirting with you.

Don’t fret, he has other aces up his sleeve, and he won’t stop until he has you swooning. Who shall be the next offering? That irritating coworker? The guy who winked at you on the bus? Surely he must’ve known you already belong to someone else. That’s where boyfriends come in, you see. Art will be certain to remind him you’re all his.

You’ll never find another guy like him. And you won’t have to! He’s all yours, and it would be wise of you to accept his undying affections, too. You won’t regret it. Everyone else will, but not you.

[Horror Masterlist]

Had an awesome thought for an Yandere!Art x Reader fic so listen up.

Shy and kind reader is in college and is roommates and “friends” with a toxic group of girls who only keep her around just so they can cheat off her. They pretend to be nice to her and Reader is too shy to stand up for herself. The night before Halloween Reader has a dream about marrying Art. The nightmarish dream has her wearing a black and white wedding dress and various mutilated still alive corpses are in the crowd of a seemingly abandoned church. Throughout the dream she is scared and confused of what is happening and the dream ends with Art unveiling her and kissing her. On Halloween night she wears a cute and normal mime costume with her face painted white and black. Her “friends” are wearing revealing costumes and brought their boyfriends along. They go to a bustling fair and throughout the night the group teases poor Reader for not having a boyfriend making her feel secluded and lonely.

Art suddenly appears at the fair leaving Reader confused and scared recognizing him from her nightmare as he falls head over heels for her seeing her in her mime costume face paint and all. Her “friends” tease her as Art acts all cute and flirty with her. At her breaking point, Reader snaps at her “friends” and runs off. She runs into Art again, her face paint ruined from her crying. He gives her a handkerchief and she accepts it with a shy smile. His expressions turn soft and sad when he sees her cry, he tries to make her laugh in various ways. She vents saying her “friends” don’t care for her and how she feels lonely. Art makes a sinister smile, he pats her on her head and runs off.

Reader is wondering around the fair all by herself with Art’s handkerchief still in hand. She can’t find her “friends” anywhere. She can’t even find their boyfriends. She gets a sinking suspicious feeling. Art suddenly grabs her from behind, mouth covering her hand as he injects her with a syringe. Knocking her out.

Reader wakes bond to a chair in a dank and dingy back room and to her horror sees her “friends” and boyfriend bond up and tied too. She starts to panic as Art appears, taking his handkerchief he gave to her earlier and dabbing her crying wet face with it. He pinches Reader’s cheeks and blows kisses at her showing how in love he is with her. As a way to show his love for her he brutally tortures and kills her “friends” and their boyfriends in front of her. Reader pleads with Art saying she didn’t want them to die but he still continues, ignoring her pleas. Finished with his work, he walks in front of a still bond Reader. He gets on one knee and presents to her a fake plastic ring as if he’s proposing to her. He slips the ring on Reader’s finger and starts stroking her cheeks, her makeup is completely ruined. He walks over to the now deceased and mangled body to one her “friends” and grabs and rips the heart out her body, presenting it to Reader. He shoves the bloody heart in her terrified face showing his twisted way of love language. Reader cries as Art makes his way to her face, kissing her cheeks and forehead smearing his black lipstick on her skin. She passes out from shock.

Reader awakens in a hospital bed in a cold sweat still in a panic. The nurses explain she’s not injured and was found passed out at the scene of the incident. All her “friends” are dead and they don’t know who killed them. She cries remembering the horrific deaths and events from last night. She remembers Art and fears he’s still out there after her. She looks to the side of the hospital bed and on the end table her eyes widen as she spots the same fake plastic ring Art had slipped on her finger. Under the ring is a folded up piece of paper, she opens it and sees a giant heart written in red marker with the saying (Y/N) + Art with various little hearts surrounding the paper. She begins to panic and tosses the paper and ring to the side, Art is still alive and he won’t stop till he gets what he wants. His bride.