MY. BODY. PEACE. OF. MIND

This is so wonderful I just can't even. It's in the little victories that we find the strength to keep going. Never stop Celebrating. *not my image #selfcare #loveyourself #balance #recovery #mentalhealth #endthestigma #MentalHealthAwareness

Enjoy your Thanksgiving guilt free. ♥ Food is fuel... But food is also good for the soul. #food #nutrition #bodyimage #eatingdisorder #recovery #balance #bopo

What triggered this renewed interest in becoming body positive again is my face.

Since I was 15 I have worn contacts full time. But about 3 years ago I started experiencing severe dry eye… Eventually getting so severe that my eyes actually rejected the contacts. It’s due to the large dose of antihistamines that I take to treat a fairly common skin disorder that I suffer from called dermatographism (skin writing syndrome) . So I’ve been wearing glasses all the time for close to two years now.

In past few years I’ve gained a significant amount of weight. About 50 after my dad passed away in 2012 and another 20ish since I started my current job at Blue Cross, a desk job. I’ve gotten used to my face being heavier and rounder with glasses because that’s how I’ve looked for quite some time.

Then I went to the eye doctor and they gave me some samples of these new one a day contacts that are supposedly superior to other brands for people with dry eye. I realized though, that I was scared to wear them. I realized that I’ve been hiding behind my glasses for so long that the thought of being seen without makeup or glasses made me extremely anxious… It made me feel exposed. I don’t wear makeup really ever and I knew I wanted to keep it that way, but I was uncomfortable knowing people could see more of my face.

This immediately made me upset. When I used wear contacts regularly I went without makeup and was fine with it. I didn’t want to be insecure. So I’ve decided to stop being insecure.

The pictures above are my three forms:>

To the left is how I look most days. No makeup, glasses. I feel confident wearing my glasses because I think they are cute and show my personality and I feel like people will focus more on my glasses and less on my flakey skin and eyebrows that need some serious waxing.

The middle is me with no makeup, no editing, no deceiving angles. When I look at it I still get feelings of vulnerability… But I’m confident that with time those feelings will pass.

The right is me with makeup. Foundation, bronzer, blush (too much lol), eyeliner, mascara, and lip tint. I think I look good but it isn’t realistic for me. I’m honestly a lazy person.. I’d rather sleep an extra 10 minutes than take any time to do my makeup. Lololol.

So here I am exposing myself to the Internet. It feels liberating. I’m flawed and that’s ok. I’m beautiful at every weight and I’m beautiful with and without makeup. I am in charge and I say I love my bare face and will rock these contacts at work soon!