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MY. BODY. PEACE. OF. MIND

@mybodypeaceofmind / mybodypeaceofmind.tumblr.com

My Body. Body Peace. Peace of Mind. I'm Kelsey. 25. I like flowers and I am learning to love myself again.
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The migraines are coming back. I'm exhausted even though i have great sleep health as I go to bed and wake up at the same time every day and I pretty much always sleep like a baby with my cpap machine (I have sleep apnea). I think it might have gotten worse, which according to my ENT can happen over time. I need another sleep study which won't happen for quite a few more weeks due to insurance issues. In the mean time I'm struggling to get through my work days and I'm relying on caffeine way too much in order to make it by. I'm doing really well at work but I feel miserable most of the time because of how tired I am. It's discouraging AF because I'm working so hard on my mental and physical health. I just want to feel good again and have energy again. When I first found out I had sleep apnea and started sleeping with my machine it changed my life so much. I became a morning person in just weeks because of how rested I felt. I stopped napping altogether and rarely got depressed or anxious. That lasted about 1 year before I gradually started to feel more and more fatigued. It's at the point that my migraines have amped up from once or twice a month to two or three times a week. There are days I feel like things wont get better. I worry. If it is the sleep apnea they can up the pressure on my cpap to meet my needs and I should feel better quickly. But what if it's not that? What if it's some other disorder? What if im just this perpetually depressed person who's body can't tell the difference between sadness and tiredness? What if I have to feel this way for a long time? Will I be ok? But that's the thing. I will be ok. I will fight the lethargy with hope and promise of a brighter future. I'm trying. I'm bettering my body and mind. I'm seeing doctors. I'm making progress even when it doesn't feel like it and that is enough for now. Ps. Accepting good vibes and prayers that I'll feel better sooner rather than later. https://www.instagram.com/p/BswuxvRFqeC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12blhdkntlfwk

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When a single tweet sums up your life. 😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/BsuJZQyBOgO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1b2kakqph76dj

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So I got bad vibes at my old apartment the second I set foot in it. I honestly didn't want to move in but we were kinda desperate and a bad feeling didn't seem like a legit reason to not get an apartment. It was so intense I actually saged the place, which I haven't done in years. Turns out the place was haunted. The cat is proof of that. Right away he started staring at nothing, in our bedroom specifically. And he did that for over a year. He'd just stare, scared/shocked looking. He was always spooked too easily over the smallest things. One time Sarah said the light in the bedroom just turned on while nobody was in the room. I always felt like someone was watching me. And the landlord's son confirmed said hauntings without us even telling him about it. I can happily say that Arthas doesn't stare at ghosts anymore since we moved. He's extra cuddly and isn't as skittish as before. That just not right feeling is gone too. I feel so at home now and it feels great. Anyone else have to deal with spooky shit lately? https://www.instagram.com/p/BsuCxOMh2dY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cjwrgw3d5kzn

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I miss you a whole lot today. To my knowledge, this is the last photo ever taken of us. It was Dec 2011. On my way home from work tonight The Chain by Fleetwood Mac came on pandora, and it reminded me of all the times you suggested we just put on your VHS recording of a TV special of a Fleetwood concert when there was nothing good on TV. I wouldn't want to watch it but id let you put it on. I'm so glad that we watched it. Then Take it Easy came on and I heard your voice singing the Eagles to us while we would fall asleep. It wasn't great singing but it soothed me still. Then American Girl came on and I remembered when you took me to see Tom Petty at "Great Woods" and American girl was one of the songs you stood for (your leg was hurting that day). Then We've Got Tonight came on and I just cried and cried. I never truly appreciated Bob Segar until after you were gone. I thank the stars every day for music. Songs are memories for me... They help me remember you. It still catches me by surprise every time a song transports me... It amazes me even though it happens almost every day. How has it been almost 7 years? I love you. https://www.instagram.com/p/BshNeUUBViY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3fjwahsbb1f0

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@victoriayates.nutrition thank you for this. ・・・ Swipe to see the difference with how body image affects eating and mental health... . We are 6 days in to 2019 and despite the literal CONSTANT diet and exercise talk, I have never felt more confident about my decision to give up dieting and "lifestyle changes" forever. This little image shows how giving up intentional weight-loss and dieting can change your life and break this vicious cycle and repair your relationship with food. This year my intentions are about elevating my mental and physical health without falling trap to the "wellness" industry. They convince people that being "healthy" is the ultimate ideal, they get you to buy their product that is designed to fail, then when it does fail they convince you that it's your fault. Feelings of guilt and shame follow which lead to binge eating. Which leads to disordered eating of all types. Which leads to major mental health problems. Which leads to poorer body image. Which leads people to seek out a solution. Which leads them back to #weightwatchers or #myfitnesspal or #keto or #lifestylechanges...the list goes on. In 2019 I'm focusing on non weight loss health related goals. Things like cooking more, learning more about intuitive eating, eating more vegetables, exercising because it's good for my bad leg and my mental health, doing yoga , practicing self love and self care...the list goes on. Just a reminder that your life's purpose isn't to lose weight. You're fucking beautiful and worthy at all shapes and sizes. And lastly, take a moment to really consider all of the risks and side effects of dieting before you do it. I respect anybody's decision to partake in whatever makes them feel good, even if it is diet culture related. This is just my perspective on things and it works for me. Maybe it will work for you too? Happy Sunday ya'll. #dietculture #mentalhealth #bodyimage #food #health https://www.instagram.com/p/BsTZrpMhA0V/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=j0mkriqmfhyr

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Throwback Thursday has me feeling nostalgic AF. Couple of babies up in NH in 2012. #7yearsago https://www.instagram.com/p/BsMayn-hoPe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1l49djo4f8v3q

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#Repost @indigo_soul_wellness ・・・ • WHERE WE ARE MEANT TO BE https://www.instagram.com/p/BsKE59vBP6q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ydn0xwq28wii

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#Repost @indigo_soul_wellness ・・・ • WHERE WE ARE MEANT TO BE https://www.instagram.com/p/BsKE59vBP6q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18asf0eu7oy96

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