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My Autistic Things

@my-autistic-things

This blog is a bunch of stuff but it's all autism or disability related! • Autistic/ADHD/bipolar • Queer • 20 years old • Grad student in cognitive psychology •
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Does anyone else feel, like, a weird inhibition against starting new TV shows?  Like, there are shows I want to watch but when I think about sitting down to start it something in me goes “no you can’t just do that.”  What am i waiting for?  I feel like I need to prepare?  Brain:  You have to wait.  Me:  Wait for what???  Brain:  WAIT

I found out recently that it’s due to not having enough emotional or mental space to process something new. Got too much going on in your own head/real life already.

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elidyce

Me: I would like to experience this new thing.

My Brain:… no.

Me: Why not?

My Brain: Can’t do it. Not today.

Me: Whyyyyyyyy?

My Brain: Because we are processing at capacity and one more stream is going to crash the whole system. 

Me, aloud: I’m not in the mood to try (new thing) right now.

THIS IS A REAL THING??? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!!?

Wow. that explains… so much

No wonder I can barely start new anime or cartoons anymore.

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finnglas

This also can be a very common issue for people with ADHD or other conditions that cause emotional dysregulation, even if you’re not actively Going Through Something at the time. Like, the knowledge that it’s going to evoke an emotional response in you means you’re more likely to keep putting it off because you have trouble returning to an equilibrium after an emotional spike. Like, shows that I have been REALLY INTO, like SUPER INVESTED, with lots of feelings involved – I have to take breaks between new episodes of it and go back to watching things I’ve already watched before that I know how they end, and I’m prepared for the emotions that go with them, to give myself a break from the emotional spikes and exhaustion of being surprised – even pleasantly – by the media I’m watching.

Oh gdi…

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lyrslair

It is worth noting, though, that technically at the present time we ARE all going through something (though the ADHD folks may notice we had this problem pre-pandemic as well).

Part of it for me is also I am running on such low bandwidth that I keep having to pause, rewind, and go back because my attention lapsed in the middle of trying to watch a new show.

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People like to complain about tumblr but I think it's heroic that there's a website specifically for transgender grad students

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Allistic people really need to stop phrasing requests as questions because it's fucking with me

"Do you want to help me cook dinner?"

No, I'm still overwhelmed from earlier and want to stay in my room.

"well fine, dinner will be ready when it's done." And now they're upset with me

And I'm just here like ???????

Oh God I hate it when they frame it like that because it sounds like a choice, but if you say no they get all offended. It’s an illusion of choice and it’s so annoying.

If I ever ask something, it’s an offer, not a demand. “Hey, wanna watch a movie with me? No? Okay, I’ll go watch it, you chill here and I hope you feel better.”

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dxs4all

I can't count the times I got in trouble because of that as a kid while never having any idea what exactly I did wrong.

Those requests with only one correct response disguised as questions with multiple answers just made me think I couldn't actually say "no" to anything (because I had no idea which ones were the secret requests), something I still have trouble to this day.

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lesbofujo

Also when they just make an observation but they expect you to know that they’re asking for something. Like “Oh the trash can is pretty full.” But they really mean “Could you take the trash out?” Just fuckign say what you mean 😒

Here's the thing. They've literally been trained since childhood to do it this way, and probably do not realize that what they're saying can be interpreted another way. It's an Ask vs Guess problem. In particular, a lot of women are taught to phrase things is a Guess way. The way they were taught to speak, they are saying what they mean.

If you want someone in your life to switch from Guess to Ask with you, then you need to have a discussion with them, Ask them to meet you somewhere in the middle on this, possibly explain the difference in cultures, definitely explain, "When you say $THING, it does not mean to me what it means to you", and then understand that it will take them time and work to change, and that you may need to be an active participant in that change. You can do this by remembering that things do not mean the same to them that they do to you, and, when they say, "Do you want to cook dinner with me?" replying with, "Are you asking me to do that, or are you asking me if I'd like it?"

Yes, I understand that this will be hard for you also. You and this person in your life will both need to work on this, together, and be forgiving of one another.

This is not something the other person is intentionally doing to you, or at you. They are speaking as they were taught to speak, that's all. It happens to conflict with your neurodivergence. That happens. It can be dealt with.

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saccharii

I remember when I was young I would respond much the same way.

“Do you want to do the dishes?”

“No.”

There would be a long pause and my mother would say “Let me rephrase. Do the dishes.”

But, yeah, I eventually started responding in the way that madgastronomer recommended. Basically just asking for clarification any time there was an unclear statement or question. I’ve had a few offended people but for the most part it works just fine.

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Allistic people really need to stop phrasing requests as questions because it's fucking with me

"Do you want to help me cook dinner?"

No, I'm still overwhelmed from earlier and want to stay in my room.

"well fine, dinner will be ready when it's done." And now they're upset with me

And I'm just here like ???????

Oh God I hate it when they frame it like that because it sounds like a choice, but if you say no they get all offended. It’s an illusion of choice and it’s so annoying.

If I ever ask something, it’s an offer, not a demand. “Hey, wanna watch a movie with me? No? Okay, I’ll go watch it, you chill here and I hope you feel better.”

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dxs4all

I can't count the times I got in trouble because of that as a kid while never having any idea what exactly I did wrong.

Those requests with only one correct response disguised as questions with multiple answers just made me think I couldn't actually say "no" to anything (because I had no idea which ones were the secret requests), something I still have trouble to this day.

Avatar
lesbofujo

Also when they just make an observation but they expect you to know that they’re asking for something. Like “Oh the trash can is pretty full.” But they really mean “Could you take the trash out?” Just fuckign say what you mean 😒

Here's the thing. They've literally been trained since childhood to do it this way, and probably do not realize that what they're saying can be interpreted another way. It's an Ask vs Guess problem. In particular, a lot of women are taught to phrase things is a Guess way. The way they were taught to speak, they are saying what they mean.

If you want someone in your life to switch from Guess to Ask with you, then you need to have a discussion with them, Ask them to meet you somewhere in the middle on this, possibly explain the difference in cultures, definitely explain, "When you say $THING, it does not mean to me what it means to you", and then understand that it will take them time and work to change, and that you may need to be an active participant in that change. You can do this by remembering that things do not mean the same to them that they do to you, and, when they say, "Do you want to cook dinner with me?" replying with, "Are you asking me to do that, or are you asking me if I'd like it?"

Yes, I understand that this will be hard for you also. You and this person in your life will both need to work on this, together, and be forgiving of one another.

This is not something the other person is intentionally doing to you, or at you. They are speaking as they were taught to speak, that's all. It happens to conflict with your neurodivergence. That happens. It can be dealt with.

Avatar
saccharii

I remember when I was young I would respond much the same way.

“Do you want to do the dishes?”

“No.”

There would be a long pause and my mother would say “Let me rephrase. Do the dishes.”

But, yeah, I eventually started responding in the way that madgastronomer recommended. Basically just asking for clarification any time there was an unclear statement or question. I’ve had a few offended people but for the most part it works just fine.

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rainsnires

the difference between pressure/firm touch and light touch in autism is WILD - I can have an entire 70 pound dog lying on my chest and be perfectly calm/happy but if my cat’s whiskers brush against my leg I’m in excruciating pain immediately and it’s like bro what

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wish there was a non rude way to be like “I understand your criticism, I don’t even necessarily disagree with it, but I am doing these things on purpose, because I like them and I want to, and therefore your opinion has no value, because you might think me painting a room entirely pink is tacky, but I did it on purpose”

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hetrez

Does anybody else ever think about how Crowley in this scene is in public, in a smallish space, with a non-zero number of people also hanging out, and he’s basically just screaming into empty space and not one single person seems to even notice?

This is his regular bar. They are used to him. If he’s not talking to himself about how he didn’t actually mean to Fall, he just lost his balance, then he’s going up to random patrons and asking them, angrily, how they would define the word ‘fraternizing’. The first time Crowley brings Aziraphale here, after the not-end of the world, the bartender gives Aziraphale a long, long look, and then says, “So you’re real, are you? Well, I lost that bet.”

Crowley is That Guy at this bar. They love him. If Beelzebub had come for him in this bar instead of St James’s Park, the bartender and all six other patrons would have smashed whiskey bottles over Beez’s super dramatic insect cossack hat until she gave up and ran away.

#good omens #crowley has probably been a regular at whatever inn or pub or bar has been at this location since the 16th century tbh #hasn’t bothered to notice when it changes names or ownership #although he has subtly (perhaps unconsciously) ensured that it always stays an alcohol-serving establishment #when you sell the property you have a quiet word with the new proprietor about him #‘every 10 years or so he’ll change his hairstyle and pretend he’s his own nephew. he thinks you don’t recognize him. just go with it.’ #‘just… think of him as a sort of good-luck charm and don’t ask any personal questions.’ (via elsajeni)

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logo-comics

What if it’s been in the same family over the centuries? Same name, same family, same pub. He could legitimately believe that the bartender is the same guy from a couple decades back, and the family history basically states, “Mr. Crowley is part of the aesthetic of the bar and should be treated as such. If the coins he gives happen to be much older forms of currency, pretend that you do not notice.”

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flowerski

Yes! Absolutely love thiss. With the times changing everything around, he has grown so accustomed to this place he doesn’t want it to change. Hell, he’s been visiting this place for centuries, who knows how old this place is and maybe, this was the place from 18th century where he got drunk and changed his name. Since then they got used to him, blabbering abt the fall and zira. Nobody really knows who he is, but they accept him nonetheless.

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