No I wasn’t mauled by a bear, the little ocd demons in my brain just think its neat to tear my skin until I scar and bleed

TW vent, self harm, ocd.

I have problems with skin picking. I get nervous now wearing short sleeves because people question me about it when they see all the scabs and blood. I’ve got quite a lot of scarring from it as well. Whenever I move my arms it hurts because of all the cuts and stuff. Not sure if it’s to do with my ocd or not.

I’m pretty sure it goes beyond what is considered normal, to the point my skin will be bloody and covered and marks afterwards. Can’t tell if I’m just being dramatic, but when people see it they tend to get freaked out as well so it might be an issue. There’s scarring all down my arms from it now. I should be able to stop? Why can’t I just stop?

I’ve always felt ashamed of these sort of things. I think I’m going to start talking about these problems I have and start getting better. If you’re someone with ocd or similar issues I hope you don’t experience shame. And if you do I hope this makes you feel just a bit better. You have nothing to be ashamed about.

The Shapeshifter's lament (an original poem)

TW gore, death, mentions of child death and abuse.

(part of this poem The Shapeshifter)

Here's a snapshot from my novel I'm working on, warning for vampirism (meaning violence, consumption of blood, general nonchalance towards killing).

if you're into mythology, gothic interests and literature and nonhumanity you might enjoy this project I'm working on. The characters are disabled and queer (written by myself, a disabled and queer author). Majority are aromantic