@mxmorbidmidnight / mxmorbidmidnight.tumblr.com
Broke: tell my parents I’m a medieval goose shapeshifter eternally bound to tormenting the English monarchy
Woke: talk about geese and medieval Europe 24/7, send cryptic messages in Shakespearean into the family group chat and replace common words such as hello with honk so that family members now communicate with me through goose sounds as a “joke” without realising I have tricked them into supporting my identity. Honk honk you hath been fooled
To my moots, if you were a herd animal I would sit on your back and eat all your bugs and scream on top of your antlers. I will also walk with my pointy bird feet on you and pick peck at your fur.
Oh my! Deary me!! It sure is a cowabummer I can’t mimic the sounds of my bird kintype!
HONK HONK HAUR HAUR!!!! ART THOU SURE ABOUT THAT!!? Buckle thine seat belts dear!! Do I have a gadget for thee!!! HONK! This device is used by both hunters and bird watchers to attract wildlife. Tis a bird whistle!! Bird whistles do come in many forms and are able to mimic a range of bird calls. I have recently gotten my claws on one. This is what it looks like:
Honk!!! My what a happy looking hen!
Of thou art a fan of subtle therian gear that does not raise suspicion, this is quite the marvellous option. The only risk here is that it people might think you’re vaping.
Anywho! These are the sounds it does make! (Beware if you are sensitive to sound or are using headphones, the whistle does sound quite sharp and shrill)
This is the vintage shop I bought from:
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Tis I of thou art curious. I be approaching at a concerning rate *flaps my wings at thee* HONK HOMK
HONK HONK I ART GOOSE HONK
GOOSES!!! IN THY HOUSR!!! GOOSES IN THY BREAD!!!!
BY MY FAITH BY MY PLOUGH!!! HERE COME MORE GEESES!!!!
H o n k
To understand how I interact with human beings I would like thee to imagine a goose had been stuffed into a human body, then to integrate it into society it was allowed to watch only skibidi toilet and Shakespeare.
🎵 I'm a creeeep, I'm a weirdoOOooo🎵
GrRrRrrRr HONK HONK I need to learn to make stimboards so I can make one of geese waddling, running, flapping wings, etc. geeeeese I need GEEEEESE
Goose in a HONK HONK HONK way but also in a: geese are known to protect their young at all costs even against cars, dogs and humans so much larger than them, they are such loyal creatures that they can be used as guard animals, they form close bonds with other animals, humans and others of their kind. When migrating they take turns bearing the burden of the wind so no goose becomes too tired, they mate for life and express mourning behaviours when losing children or mate, kind of way.
It’s not the rapture, it’s just me practicing my goose noises. It’s okay everyone, sit down.
I’m going RABBID where are all the geese?!? People think I’m lonely because I’m Aro, but that has nothing to do with it. The issue is I CANT FIND ANY GEESE
Honk honk?
WHERE ARE YOUUUU WAAAAAAAA I HATE BEING A LONE GOOSE HONK HONK!!!
HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HInk hOMk honk honk homk hONK HONK HONKKKKK HIOOOOONJ HONK HONK
Do thou have any photos that match how thou does imagine thine kin type? Do reblog I await anxiously *sits down in a goosey way and stares*
“People with common kin types are faking”
The geeses and I:
(Next one to say that is catching these wings, the geeses and I are now protectors of common kin types, bring it in pookies)
HONK HONK time to go file the taxes and give the iPad to the wife and the kids. then I will go eat a bowl of bread and use my FX-99IES PLUS Casio calculator HONK HONK said the human being who is actually a human being and not actually goose (actually)
(actual footage of an actual human being actually going to study the taxes and talk to the government about real estate)
