Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I hope you and your husband continue to be happy together, you absolutely deserve it. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

are people seriously not understanding that the whole point of colin's arc this season is him trying to be something he's not??

like sure the brothel scenes are a little weird and jarring but like they're meant to be??? because he's not actually that into it, he's just trying to do what all the other men his age are doing so he can fit in??

the writers aren't trying to 'turn him into anthony or simon' or make him a rake because that's what we're used to - HE'S trying to turn HIMSELF into anthony or simon or basically any of the other guys who this comes naturally to; who enjoy sleeping with lots of different people somewhat emotionlessly and don't get lonely because of it (and no judgement to that it's just not him)

he literally kisses Pen ONCE and absolutely loses his mind over it because its obviously never felt like that for him before. that moment is his 'oh so that's what that's supposed to feel like' moment and that's how he knows he's in love with her its literally so good???

i understand people feel like its rushed but honestly to me it feels perfectly in character for him to discover the solution to his loneliness he's been searching for all this time and immediately dive into it headfirst. that moment right at the end of ep4 where he asks her to marry him is the most authentic colin i think we've seen all season. he's sweet and funny and playful and passionate and impulsive - he's finally stopped trying to be someone he's not and now that he knows who he is and what he wants he's all in.

name a sneakier mom than violet "oh you're too tired to come to the ball? what a shame, you're going to miss sweet Penelope getting engaged. well, anyway dear, feel better" bridgerton. i'll wait.

Colin: My head is bottle-weary.

Mama B: Lol ok sweetie. By the way, Lord Debling is gonna put a ring on it tonight, all because of you, ok byeeeeeeeee!

Colin: *dies inside*

Penelope: don’t worry we never need to hook up again

Colin: oh word? cool cool cool coool no doubt no doubt no doubt no doooouuubt

I'M DEAD 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BRIDGERTON 3.02 | How Bright the Moon

I absolutely LIVE for the way his hand closes and he holds Penelope's hand. 😍

No cause the way Colin WAITED for Pen to say yes, to give him permission to touch her. He got on his knees FOR HER. And when she said they were just friends he backed up, with TEARS in his eyes, like he was devastated but still backed down. And God the way he was looking at HERRRR. like he was at her feet begging for more after just one kiss. Who would've thought consent was such an attractive thing. I am not fucking well.

FOR REAL THOUGH. 😍

Him in her color and her in his.

OMG I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE HIS WAISTCOAT!!!

Also, she looks STUNNING in this dress!

Everyone: Penelope’s gonna get married thanks to your help!

Colin:

I mean... in the end, they're not wrong... they just never consider the idea that HE might be the one to propose. 😂

You can tell by the reaction people have to Penelope asking Colin to kiss her whether they ever experienced being a wallflower/insecure fat girl at a party or not.

Because you say it's pathetic, I say it's relatable, no matter how desperate it may sound. If you've never had your insecurity eat you up from the inside (but also the outside, as Portia literally told Penelope that she was delusional for thinking she was gonna find a husband in her third season out) to the point you genuinely, wholeheartedly believe no one will ever love you unless you physically change, then obviously the scene is off to you.

But Pen literally told Colin she felt stupid for thinking she's gonna find a husband (she just started believing what the ton and her mother said) and that she knows no one would want to kiss her. And for a romance girl like her, do you think the thought of never having a kiss, never experiencing that passion, would be easy to bear? I can so relate to being the most romantic of the bunch but also being the loneliest and aching for physical and emotional romantic love.

She is so vulnerable and so real in that moment but y'all gotta bitch about it because it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me either because she's gorgeous, but that's the thing - no one ever told her she's gorgeous and actually meant it. And even if they did, there must be 10 more people who didn't that keep that insecurity in her, specifically her sisters and her mother.

Nicola said this one was for the wallflowers, and it truly is, so if you find scenes like this cringe, you just don't relate to the character enough to feel it and recall moments when you had the same thoughts as her.

So much this. It's part of why I love Polin so much. She doesn't change all that much, just wears clothes that she actually likes and that suit her. But that's not what captures Colin's heart. It's just... her. Just Penelope, being herself, and after that kiss, he sees her in a different light. She doesn't change. He does.

Actually, going by the show, her lovely comment about his eyes gets the ball rolling. Man, you can so tell he is SHOOK!!!

(And if someone can direct me to a gif of that face, I would be most grateful, because none of the searches I tried worked. Please and thank you.)

Literally one hot carriage hookup and five minutes later:

Exactly

SO MUCH THIS!!!!!