WHAT IF ANAKIN NEVER REMOVED REX FROM THE SYSTEM AFTER ORDER 66

Like, Anakin might not know that Rex defected. He promoted Appo but technically Appo’s still second in command of the 501st, under Rex (Rex is still listed as a Captain because Anakin is really really fucking awful at paperwork). And then when Rex doesn’t show up, the obvious conclusion is that he’s dead, but Anakin still doesn’t let him get listed as MIA or KIA because that’s HIS CAPTAIN, dammit, and he’s lost Ahsoka, Padme, Obi-Wan, and literally everything else he ever cared about, he doesn’t want to face having lost Rex, too. And he works better with Rex than with anyone else (mostly because Rex has become accustomed to his bullshit and is Very Good at taking Anakin’s spectacularly stupid nonsense and Making It Work), and really he can’t picture leading the 501st with anyone OTHER than Rex at his side.

And then Rex keeps not coming back. But Vader still doesn’t remove him from the system. For years and years. And eventually everyone stops mentioning it to him because they tend to get force-murdered if they do. 

So long story short, Rebels-era Rex is technically the commanding officer of Vader’s Fist, and the system still recognizes his codes and lets him in, and technically if he walked up to any stormtrooper while wearing his old helmet, the networks would recognize him and tell the stormtrooper that’s your CO. So if Rex realized this, he could just waltz in and take control of the most feared stormtrooper legion in the galaxy and as long as Vader wasn’t around, no one would stop him (they’d all be very confused, but they wouldn’t stop him). And maybe vader walks up at this point like “what the hell is going on here” and sees Rex and is just like “REX there you are where the FUCK have you been?” and Rex is like “uuuhhhh i had engine trouble on the way back from Mandalore” and it’s been 20 years but Vader knows how shitty Rex is at piloting and really anything involving flying and ships so he’s like “sounds legit”

And then Vader starts assigning Rex new campaigns to go on and dragging him into command meetings and generally treating him as if nothing’s changed since the Clone Wars. So now Rex has to pretend to be loyal to the Empire to avoid raising Vader’s suspicions, all while trying to figure out how the kriff he’s going to get back to the Rebellion with the 501st in tow like he originally planned.

and Vader is still 100% down to leave 90% of the actual on-the-ground strategy to Rex, and was so used to just nodding along to whatever tactics Rex suggested during the Clone Wars (unless he had some Specific Bullshit to add) that now you get strategy meetings going like this:

some admiral or other: (insert planet here)’s foolish insistence on resisting our totally fair resource mining agreement must not go unpunished

Vader: we will burn them to the ground and destroy their cities, leave no civilians alive

Rex: General, I have an idea. Instead of doing that, we do… not that.

Vader, nodding along: ok yeah sure Rex sounds good

admiral: ummm my lord

Vader: fuck you Rex knows what he’s doing

Rex: you heard the murderbot we’re going with my plan

meanwhile everyone’s low-key terrified of Rex because he regularly makes fun of Vader to his face and doesn’t die. Vader lets him do it because it’s such a relief to finally have someone competent working for him, who isn’t afraid to call him out on his stupid ideas. And Rex is like, medium-key terrified of Darth Fucking Vader, and horrified by what Anakin has become, but they also manage to form a salt-bond by bitching to each other about how lax the Imperial Army’s training standards are compared to the GAR.

Headcanon that Rex had a habit of “testing the reflexes” of the new shinies (and occasionally Ahsoka and Anakin) by sneaking up behind them and yelling “CONSTANT VIGILANCE” and firing his blaster into the ceiling. When he finds himself stuck on an Imperial Star Destroyer with a bunch of deathtroopers and an asthmatic Sith Lord and somehow in charge of almost everyone there, he decides, FUCK IT, might as well, and resumes his old habit. Vader is not exempt. Vader is pissed that his regulator makes it impossible to do it back to Rex.

Perfection! I love this concept beyond words! XD

Poor Rex. You just KNOW every time he tries to leave he’s thwarted by Imperials who despite their terror realise he’s a good influence on Vader and refuse any action that might risk losing him and going back to the regular unscheduled maimings…

And then of course there’s the whole “Skywalker” reveal - and honestly Luke is Rex’s best path back to the Rebellion:

Vader: Rex where are you? Have you finished clearing out those Rebel forces yet?

Rex: yeah about that General, turns out your kid was on base and I decided to take the opportunity to “defect” along with my best troops so we can keep a proper eye on him.

Vader: excellent! well done Rex! keep me informed.

XD

Rex would totally be a new Fulcrum agent with this level of access and autonomy in the highest ranks of the Empire. Even if Vader straight up walked in on a transmission, Rex could just be like “Oh, I’m leaving Ahsoka a voicemail.”

Meanwhile rebel command is picking up something like “…three new batallions deployed to the Naboo sector–oh, hi Vader. I’m sending Ahsoka a holocall.” *muffled scrambling for the microphone* “SNIPS YOU GET YOUR STRIPEY ORANGE BUTT OVER HERE WITH THE 501ST!”

You know, this whole setup seems designed to make sure Luke knows who Vader is earlier in canon.

Also means that Vader is unexpectedly confronted with a Luke who knows who he is, who he was, and what he could have been.

In short, one Vader defection coming up!

(Also, I expected this to turn very sad very quick, but it just got silly and fun and I love it)

Hmmm, exactly when in canon is Rex getting stuck with Vader here? Cuz if it’s BEFORE the events of A New Hope, that means he’s gonna be with Vader when he captures the Tantive IV (don’t worry, Rex talked Vader out of the Rogue One hallway massacre).

Rex: Uh, sir, I think you should believe the princess. She’s on a Diplomatic Mission™, she doesn’t have the plans, leave her alone

Vader: Aight, I trust u boo. (To Leia) Ok fine, you can go on back to Alderaan now. We’ll give you an escort.

Leia: *internally screaming FUCK cuz she’s already yeeted R2 and the plans off to Tatooine* Uhhhhh that’s really fine, thx, I have an uh, errand to run first, don’t wanna bother you.

Vader, suspicious: Oh rlly? Well we can come along on that too, I run errands for the Emperor all the time. I insist.

Leia: ok fine if you insist :) :) :)

Leia’s all right and panicked on how she’s gonna ditch Darth Chaperone on a sandy hell planet so she can look for some missing droids and a Jedi Master who’s supposed to be dead, but it turns out to be no big issue cuz the second Vader finds out they’re going to Fucking Tatooine, he nopes right out of there when Rex volunteers to stay and keep an eye on the princess.

Of course this culminates in Leia and Rex finding Luke and the droids, Rex learning Luke’s name, learning who Leia was originally sent there to find, seeing how the two of them connect near immediately. Rex puts EVERYTHING together.

All of this leads to poor Obi Wan getting his hut door kicked down by a very irritated Rex because he has some serious explaining to do.

And that’s how Luke finds out about his father.

Rex: hey random farmer kid can we get those droids back from you

Leia: also what’s your name?

*thirty minutes later, after Rex rage-yeets himself across miles of sandy wasteland to ruin a fucker’s day*

Rex: *kicks down obi-wan’s door* kenobi what the FUCK

obi-wan: ahwhaat the SHIT

This is honestly the best fucking thing I’ve read all day

i drew it

I can totally see this happening, because it’s Anakin Petty-walker we’re talking about. Judging by how militarily incompetent everyone seems to be in Vader’s eyes, being able to talk with someone not-as-incompetent (from older times, yes, Vader doesn’t want to talk about it, and yes, Rex tried, Vader didn’t answer), might be a total relief to Vader and I could actually see Rex having the same influence as Luke when it comes to stopping Vader from randomly killing officers who, I don’t know, breathed in his direction or something. 

And Obi-Wan and Rex meeting again, after all these years? My mind is spiraling.

Rex: so youve just sat here???? for twenty years??? meditating????

Obi-Wan, putting his cup of tea down: No, my dear friend, you see, I have been-

Rex: oh please SHUT UP how are you so calm??? do you even know what ive been up to???

Obi-Wan, realising: …You’re still Commanding Officer to Anakin, aren’t you?

Rex: Yes, at first I didn’t- 

Luke, eyes wide open, shaking Obi-Wan’s shoulder: Anakin, as in, my dead father Anakin??? Anakin Skywalker?? The Jedi Hero????? The pilot????? The most fearless warrior that-  

Rex, brain short circuiting: Where’d you get that from?

Obi-Wan, blushing: Uh….. Luke, this is not the time. Go talk to Leia or I’m afraid she will break something, your sister seems quite angry-

Luke: Sorry, my what????????

Leia: His who?????????

Rex, looking at Leia, and then at Obi-Wan: a Skywalker?

Obi-Wan, rubbing his temple, sighing loudly: ….a Skywalker.

Okay so are you implying that Ahsoka is also a part of this now cuz I can see that after the whole “SNIPS GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! TARKIN’S A BITCH AND I NEED A NEW ADMIRAL!” debacle at the communications hub the rebels aren’t going to pass this opportunity up.

@musewrangler you might be able to do something with this

Hold on hold on—-I’m WHEEZING 😂😂😂😂😂