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@murrpa

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A Jolly Red Lie

Why a red suit? Cause it's christmas, and someone's been naughty. But also so that people don't know he's bleeding, that he's hurting.

In dp2, Wade says he should have worn his WHITE suit when he meets Juggernaut. Because a red suit hides blood, a white suit hides that you're excited, that you're enjoying all this. That you're getting off, that you want it.

A red suit shows you're enjoying it. A red suit doesn't show you're hurting. A white suit doesn't show you're enjoying it, but it does show you're hurting.

Wade's first suit was white.

He swapped it to red because he didn't want to show he was bleeding all over everything. You know, like a bleeding heart. He doesn't want people to know he cares so much he'd sacrifice himself over and over. Selflessness. He wants it to appear as if his actions cost him nothing. He can't have anyone thinking he wants to be there.

But the red suit does show he's enjoying it. Enjoying the fighting, the killing, the being stabbed.

When we first meet pre Deadpool Wade, he was in a red coat, white shirt--the Golden Girls shirt. He's enjoying what he's doing.

Wearing his heart on his sleeve. Showing what he cares about. Told pizza stalker girl he does it for the hugs, and then covered up by turning it into a joke "for the money"--(haha the deadpool movie was ostensibly jokes for money, but we all know that's not true)--and then later refusing to take payment. He's being open, even if he knocks it down a peg after the fact.

Looking at Vanessa with open care, and letting her see. Openly saying things like "Happy holidays", without being sarcastic about it or negating it.

But he stops doing that after Francis. The only time it's shown is when she tells him she wants to have a kid--even then it's still not openly, because it's hidden behind jokes. He doesn't tell her he loves HER, only that he really wants a kid: but DOES HE?

No. He's pretending to care, to want. They first intend to "watch some porn and show the bed who's boss", but we cut to them watching Abjectly Not Porn. He then says he wants a kid again, but the way he describes it is to "get the strap on": that's not how kids are made. He didn't want that in dp1 though: he says "no" to the strap on in the sex montage. (That was on international women's Day. When Vanessa is dead in dp2, it's always international women's Day there. Aka, Wade doesn't want to be there. Why is he there, then? Because he thinks she wants that.)

He's pretending to care about something he doesn't. He's using things he's supposed to want, but no longer does, to act like he cares. He wants to, but he does not. He says he wants kids as he's selling used cars, but that's a lie followed by the offense of "not having vaginal sex". Because he wants to get pegged now, which is extremely offensive to Disney.

So what changed?

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Within a few hours:

Wade: He's a 10 but he loves my insanity so he's a 1000.

Logan: He's a 10 but he belittles himself so he's a 0. Also, he'd have been lobotomised in 1938.

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The new Christmas short or whatever Ryan Reynolds is filming right now, where Wade is relentlessly setting up mistletoe for a party to kiss his friends in unconventional ways. Buck gets a kiss on the top of his bald head. Al gets a forehead kiss. Wade slaps a hand over Dopinders mouth and kisses the back of his hand because he knows Dopinder just isn’t into swapping spit. Vanessa gets a kiss on the cheek. Shatterstar gets a very romantic ‘enchante’ kiss to the knuckles. Everyone gets something different, none of them are ‘real’ kisses.

Logan passes under the mistletoe and before Wade can enact his elaborate plan to get his mouth on THE WOLVERINE, Logan is just pulling him in by the ugly Christmas sweater for an actual kiss, with tongue, for way too long to be a joke. And everyone is just watching like

👁👄👁️

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I just KNOW Wade and Logan show each other off like 'omg can you believe I landed him?!'

Both can't believe their luck while a good majority of people wouldn't want either of them for numerous and uncountable reasons. But this just is does just not compute to them because 'seriously he's perfect'. All of their friends just nod along because they're happy for them (But they know the truth)

However one thing is for sure they are perfect for each other.

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Wade: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Logan: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do.
Wade: THAT’S IT. I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING LAURA WITH ME
Scott, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
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I should not be allowed into to the world anymore

I'm watching a video about North American turn signals and had to pause for like 3 minutes because one of the examples they used was a Honda Odyssey....

I'm going to scream

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Wade 'god what if I annoy him too much and he leaves' Wilson and Logan 'I'd literally eradicate the whole universe before I get separated from him' Howlett

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