Can you imagine how terrifying it would be to be Phoenix's college Academic Advisor? Like...
"Hi, Phoenix. Please have a seat. You wanted to speak to me about something?"
"Yes, sir! I've decided to change my major. I'm going to become a lawyer!"
"Now hold on a minute, let's talk about this. Was something about your Art Degree not working out?"
"Oh, no, art is great! But, see, I have this friend I have to help."
"Phoenix, if your friend needs legal help..."
"No, no, it's nothing like that. This is more about...well...I'm really worried about his well-being. I need to make sure he's okay."
"I'm not sure I follow. What does this have to do with changing your major?"
"Well, see, he won't answer any of my letters. But he's a lawyer, so I figure if I face off against him in court, he can't ignore me!"
"Phoenix, I.... Okay, first of all, if your friend doesn't wish to communicate with you anymore, you really shouldn't force the issue. Maybe this is his way of saying your friendship has run its course."
"You don't understand. I think he's in real trouble! He's changed so much since the last time we talked."
"I see. And when was the last time you spoke with him?"
"......Phoenix, I'm sure this young man has built up his own support network over the years. Friends, family, colleagues. If he's in need of help, there are people he can go to."
"But they don't know him the way I do! I'm the only one who knows what he's really like!"
"Because you knew him when you were nine."
"Phoenix, I must advise against this course of action..."
"But I'm really worried about him!"
"I need to know the truth! He just suddenly moved away when we were in fourth grade..."
"I can't possibly imagine why."
"...and now it seems like he's going against everything he once stood for! Look, deep down, I know he needs me to save him. I'm the only one who can!"
"Please don't slam the table. Okay, Phoenix, while I technically can't stop you from switching majors, I am going to strongly encourage that you seek psychiatric help. Now I know a therapist who specializes in yandereology..."
"So you're saying you can change my major for me?"
"Okay, great! Well, I'd better get studying if I'm gonna become a lawyer! Thanks for all your help. Bye!"
"...This is going to weigh on my conscience."