For @kakairu-rocks KakaIru Valentine's Week 2024, Day 2 Prompt: Love Potion and @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt "Seal It Tight!"
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: lruka & Naruto
Pairing: lruka/Kakashi (future implied)
Word Count: 1092
It's (relatively) early on a Saturday morning in February when Iruka slips through the door of the Namikaze-Uzumaki household. The weather has been unusually warm for February, and everything outside is slippery from last night's freezing rain.
lruka quietly hangs his jacket (not his parka!) on a hook in the entrance, sets his boots on the mat, steps around Kakashi's backpack, and goes to find Naruto. Minato may or may not be home from work yet, and if he is, he'll be sleeping. Which is why he's here on a Saturday morning instead of his usual Thursday after school. Iruka is both surprised and worried that he doesn't hear Naruto. Naruto is loud at least 90% of the time that he's awake, and at—Iruka pulls his phone out to check—8:30 in the morning, there's no way Naruto isn't up.
Iruka pokes his head into several rooms, none of which hold Naruto, before he finally hears the babbling sound of a Naruto stream of consciousness ramble™️ coming from the kitchen.
lruka steps into the room and, even though Minato and Kushina said he didn't need to come until 9, wishes he'd arrived earlier. The kitchen was, well, not a <i>complete</i> disaster, but not far from it either. There are so many bottles of things from the fridge and cupboards on the countertops that lruka can't help but wonder if they are completely empty. The sink is full of dirty bowls, and there are puddles of… something on the floor and countertops.
Quietly, Iruka greets Naruto, “Hey, kiddo, whatcha up to?”
“Iruka!”
Naruto's whisper is so loud that it might as well be a shout.
"Is your dad home yet?”
“Yeah, he got home an hour ago. And Kakashi, that lazy bum, isn't up yet.”
Iruka snorts. Kakashi isn't remotely lazy, though Iruka understands why Naruto thinks he is.
“Did you have breakfast?”
Naruto grimaces, but nods.
“Dad made <i>so many</i> pancakes for supper last night!” Then he pouts. “We're gonna be stuck eatin’ ‘em ‘til Mom gets home!”
Iruka knows Kushina is gone for the next week, so this is definitely an exaggeration.
“What are you up to, then?”
“A potion to help Kakashi!” he exclaims.
“A potion?”
"Yeah!”
Iruka shushes Naruto before he gets even louder and wakes Minato. Naruto looks contrite for 0.25 seconds, but does continue more quietly.
“Me and Kakashi watched a movie last night—he let me stay up so late, it was awesome!—there was dragons and battles and wizards and witches—”
Iruka lets Naruto’s flood of words continue for a while, but none of them explain the mess in the kitchen or how any of it is supposed to help Kakashi, who is due to roll out of bed and stumble out the door late for work soon.
Eventually, Iruka interrupts, "Naruto. What does any of that have to do with this…?” Iruka gestures to the mess all around them.
“The sword guy had a crush on this sword girl, but she never even <i>noticed</i>, even though he was always talking stupid and turning red and watching her when they weren't fighting zombies!”
Iruka blinks in stunned confusion. Zombies? He thought it was dragons…
“So he went to this guy who made a potion so she would notice him and fall in love with him.”
Naruto sounds completely disgusted as he says those last few words, but he's also still young enough to believe that girls have cooties…
“Kakashi…?” Iruka prompts.
“Right. Mom said he has a crush. But he never does anything about it! Tch, lazy—”
“Naruto,” Iruka interrupts.
“Right. He needs <i>so much help</i>! So I'm making a potion so Kakashi can become awesome and the guy will notice him and fall in love.”
It's moments like this that show how much Naruto now sees Kakashi as his brother, rather than an interloper, because while Naruto’s tone expresses his disgust at the whole concept and how lacking he thinks Kakashi's person is for this, he <i>does</i> genuinely wanted to help. Which is cute, if misguided, but he decides to leave that conversation to Kakashi…
“And how is it going?”
Naruto sags. “Ugh. Not so good.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. We don't have any of the weird stuff the potion guy used, so I've been trying all kinds of stuff.”
That certainly explained all the bottles. Iruka decides to abandon the homework plan that was originally created for the morning and asks, “What can I do to help?”
Naruto actually pauses to think, and Iruka hears the front door close, so Kakashi definitely heard most of that. Iruka smirks as he imagines Kakashi playing along.
“It should be Valentinesy, I guess, maybe...?”
“That's a good idea. Maybe something chocolatey or sweet?”
Naruto's face lights up, “Yeah! And mom said something about being hot, so maybe spicy…?”
Iruka snickered, then sighed.
“Ok, well, we're going to need to clean this up before we can get started.”
Naruto makes a face, but doesn't argue, so Iruka starts putting bottles back in the cupboard, and Naruto grabs a dishcloth to start cleaning the spills.
🍾
Chocolate sauce.
Vanilla.
Honey.
Chili flakes.
Mustard powder.
Cinnamon.
They mix it all together in a clean bowl, and Naruto scoops some out for Iruka to taste. Iruka, having the advantage of knowing what's in it, doesn't grimace or wince once it goes into his mouth. He simply swallows and decides he's lucky that the flavours of the spices haven't had time to develop…
(Afterwards, he also adds some of Minato and Kushina's chocolate whiskey, but Naruto doesn't need to know about that.)
“Let's see if we can find a nice looking container for it, shall we?” lruka gives the concoction his seal of approval.
Before Iruka can stop him, Naruto jumps up, fist in the air, and shouts, “Yes!”
“Shhhh!”
“Sorry, sorry.”
“It's your dad you're going to need to apologise to if you wake him up,” is Iruka's stern response.
🍾
Together, they go and look through all of the vases, old perfume bottles, medicine bottles, water bottles, and food storage containers in the house. Nothing is quite good enough for Naruto. Naruto eventually hits the jackpot anyway with a little bottle in the recycling bin. Iruka thinks it was probably a sampler alcohol bottle Kushina brought home from her last business trip. The important thing is that it's cool looking enough for Naruto, and Iruka can wash and sterilise it.
🍾
“Seal it tight! You can give it to Kakashi when he gets home.”
Slyly, “Maybe <i>you</i> should give it to Kakashi instead.”