part 2 of Minas Tirith society trying and failing to understand that Aragorn and Arwen are just. waiting. to have a kid and the royal couple spreading wild rumors about elf reproduction:

Faramir and Imrahil, southern Dúnadain and both scions of Mithrellas, are totally in on it.

Year 15 of Heir Watch™️. Faramir and Imrahil practically skip into court in Minas Tirith, interrupting a luncheon of the Eastern Lebennin Pickled Fishmonger's Guild. They loudly proclaim how happy they are to help Arwen with her ~royal duties~ and bring her various random implements, presented grandly on a silk pillow. A bamboo whisk from the far East, three (3) mûmakil-ivory nipple rings, jarred frog spawn from Harad and, of course, of course, (fishmongers and their family members from rural Lebennin in Minas Tirith on holiday watching spellbound, leaning in) the absolutely necessary carved cylinder made from the heart of a naturally fallen mallorn-tree, enchanted for fer-ahem-ABUNDANCE, and suspiciously. . . "mushroom" shaped.

Faramir and Imrahil both bow and scrupulously apologize to Queen Arwen for being too excited to wait to show these treasures in private later as she requested. Arwen nods sagely and accepts them with grace. Faramir and Imrahil race back out the door to meet Eowyn, who stayed outside for being unable to meet the exacting Gondorian courtly manners expected in this instance without using obvious horse dong puns and metaphors, and is ready to explode.

Aragorn, who Arwen and her loyal delivery lords got the jump on, has to duck into a private chamber because he's bright red and about to melt into giggles. In his study next door he overhears two pageboys listening through a cracked door (their regular duty at court, in case the king needs something) having a quiet but scandalized meltdown:

"What's the frog spawn for? Why - why a whisk? Why does it have to be bamboo?"

"My mom was saying something about the Queen the other day and my dad yelled at her to stop before my little sisters heard. Oh, Elbereth, is this why?"

"Why are there three nipple rings? Not two, not four! Does - do they have three nipples? Do Elves have three nipples?"

"Dad said his cousin's friend's gardener worked under visiting Elves in the eastern orchards last season and she swears up and down the Elves were at first confused about what everyone was talking about, and then they all started laughing-"

"No, no, the Queen - what am I thinking? She pretty clearly has two - oh, don't look at me like I've peeked in her dressing room, you know what I mean - so does the King have three nipples? Is this a Northern Dúnadain thing?"

"That was not a mushroom!"