it will never stop making me happy to see how GENUINELY JOYFUL and excited gandalf looks when he's making fireworks for the hobbits !!!

like this is the face of a wizard who's doing EXACTLY what he loves to do in life T-T

Im sorry but if OLDER you is played by Ian mckellen.... you're just automatically homosexual.

4000cc breast implants :)

I don't know how to tell you this. But the wizard in the picture is canonically Saruman.

#saruman's big artificials vs. gandalf's big naturals

This is apparently a minority opinion, but any time Aragorn acts "kingly" in LOTR, he becomes wildly unsympathetic (even more so than book-Denethor, who at least had an excuse), and the moments where Gandalf is obsequiously deferential to him are repulsive. It's a reminder that whether Tolkien intended it that way or not, Aragorn's ascension is a pretty bitter pill, marking the final fade-out of the last vestiges of light or wonder in Middle-earth and the beginning of an age dominated by the unleavened corruption of Men. (Late in his life, Tolkien toyed a little with a sequel set during the reign of Aragorn and Arwen's son, but his ideas about it were very gloomy and his heart wasn't really in it.)

He learned his lesson

Nah you guys don’t get it. For all that Gandalf complained about Pippin, he better than anyone else knew that Pippin was absolutely crucial. Pippin accomplishes a very impressive feat: not only does he manage to see something in the palantír (most hobbits would perceive nothing, as these stones were designed for use by high elves), but he manages to close his mind against Sauron. That is a seriously impressive feat of ósanwë given Pippin’s youth and almost total inexperience. The only clue Sauron manages to glean from the meeting with Pippin is that he is in Meduseld: which Pippin probably did not even directly give to him. Pippin did not tell Sauron his name, so Sauron is led to believe that Pippin is Frodo. I remind you, in the books, the Good Guys manage to trick Sauron, by making him believe that Aragorn has claimed the One Ring. They can only do that because of Pippin’s ridiculous feat of ósanwë. Far from sabotaging the mission, he is the one who allows it to succeed (albeit, not on purpose). This is why Sauron doesn’t think anything is fishy when Aragorn wins the Battle of the Pelennor Fields by controlling ghosts: that would be consistent with the idea that he is using the One Ring. Which Sauron believes that Pippin brought to him. This is why Sauron pulls out his old “play nice and weak” card from his Númenor days. He first of all believes that Aragorn is a lot more powerful than he actually is, and secondly thinks that the Ring is beginning to affect him.

He should perhaps have remembered that Aragorn is named for Fingolfin. Fingolfin’s mother-name, Arakáno, would properly be translated to Sindarin as “Aragorn”. Most people would not show up to an enemy fortress with an army they knew was far too small, and start a battle they knew they would lose. But Fingolfin famously did exactly that.

When you read the line “fool of a Took!” It is important to understand that in the context of Gandalf calling himself a fool on several occasions. Galadriel too sees beyond the veneer of foolish naivety in Pippin. She gives him and Merry belts that almost definitely were once her brothers’. A golden flower on a gift from Galadriel can only be a golden lily, the sigil of the House of Finarfin. Galadriel, while all hell was breaking loose in Tirion, raided her brothers’ rooms and took their belts from when they were little kiddos, hauled them across the Helcaraxë, and then held onto them for three Ages before giving them to two hobbits she just met. Merry, of course, is comparable to Angrod and Aegnor: his great deed is done in a moment of beserk rage, and it is a feat of strength. This then implies that she is comparing Pippin to Finrod. That’s one hell of a complement coming from Galadriel: but as I just pointed out, entirely warranted. Pippin manages to reproduce Finrod’s feat of radio silence, in the face of torture by Sauron. Which again, is extremely impressive given that Pippin is far younger and less experienced than Finrod was.

You see me <3

” Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I am afraid, and he gives me courage.”

Gandalf, taking a hit from his joint: Did you guys know that mithril is super expensive? Like insanely valuable? That it’s very much a finite resource mostly plundered from the earth and invaluable due to its many uses? And also Sauron has most of it so it’s now lost to its Elven and Dwarvish makers? And to think Bilbo’s precious gift of mithril mail is probably sitting in the local Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum. Just makes you think lol ...

Gimli, a dwarf who has lost most of his people’s cultural artefacts: ... I’m sorry Bilbo was given what and did what with it

Frodo, secretly wearing Bilbo’s mithril mail at that very moment but only after nearly 70 years of it sitting in the Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum gathering dust because Bilbo had no idea his cool shirt was worth approximately the net value of their entire country:

Lord of the Rings is a comedy

watching lord of the rings with friends who have never seen it before when we got to the balrog lolol

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

Everyone needs a chucklefuck.

Couldn’t stop giggling while making this

ok but legitimately for a great immortal wizard, gandalfs total acts of magic are

1. throws saruman around a bit

2. stops a balrog from taking a step

3. tells saruman to fuck off out of theoden's head

4. has really good time management

5. makes a light

6. ???????

like to be perfectly honest. his magic wizard maiar powers are not that impressive

#bro was a bit subpar I AM HOWLING

"her part seemed to her more ignoble than that of the staff he leaned on"

I love you Gandalf. He just gets it.

The sexism that blighted Eowyn's life, that came from the hands not from enemies but loved ones, reduced her and cut her down to fit her into a box, until Eowyn didn't even feel like a person anymore. And Eomer, when it's spelled out to him, goes back and looks at their life together differently, and realises the wrong that's been done to her.

She was a tool, something to be leant on and used, to provide support for the men's desires and the men's ambitions and the men's glory, with no will of her own.

Her family loved her, but they saw her as what they would have her be, viewing her through the lens of what they believe women to be instead of seeing Eowyn (and women as a whole) for herself, instead of recognising her as her own being with own merit and skills.

It's that thing of sexism not only making women less equal, but less human.

They are a tool, a service. They are a monolith, a group assigned to perform certain roles, valued for performing those roles (to an extent) but not actually individuals, with individuals thoughts and hopes and skills and dreams. Not to the same extent as men.

And because these are the roles they're meant to serve, there's no injustice, no tragedy of lost potential and missed opportunities, because as women they don't have that potential and they don't need those opportunities.

It's no wonder Eowyn wanted to die in battle. Going to battle, riding out against the orders of all those who caged her in, that was her regaining control of her life, a life that seemed to be no life, because she was no real living person. Just a staff to be leant on. And in going to battle, when she has been told not to, in making a choice for herself, she reclaims her humanity. But she's been so broken down that she thinks the only way to avoid going back to being an object is to die in battle.

Faramir doesn't treat her like an object. He treats her like a person, one similar to him. He sees her worth and merit and he admires her strength and her deeds while also feeling compassion for her suffering. After Faramir meets her, he seeks out Merry, to try and find out about her, instead of making presumptions about her based on her sex.

Faramir bothers, he takes the effort to find out who Eowyn is, instead of deciding for her.

And Merry, who rode to war with her and also sees her who she is, helps. No wonder he and Eowyn, though parted by distance, remain great friends and Eowyn adores him.

But Eowyn doesn't just get a happy ending from having a man in her life who treats her decently.

Tolkien makes a point to have Eowyn not just declare herself as choosing to live to be Faramir's wife, it's not a case of unhappy feminist who wants to be like a boy but is finally happy when she "accepts femininity" and finds a good man to protect her.

She says she will be a healer. Faramir has spoken nothing of that. It's not a role he has chosen for her or he's taking on and she's going to do to help him. They will be married and support each other and share a life, but she will also be her own seperate person.

It's a role that she's chosen for herself, without orders or pressure from anybody else. A role that will put her strength and her wits and her stomach iron to good use, and means she won't have to wait until battle to feel alive. A role that is seen as a mark of leadership, for the greatest leaders in Middle Earth, men and women, are also healers.

This such an important arc, and it really is incredible of Tolkien to write it.

A woman who has had her own goals and skills overlooked in favour of how she can serve men, who has been kept locked in the home to tend to her family's needs with no relief or chance to go out and live life on her terms.

Who is beloved by her family, who are good people, yet still mistreated because sexism is just part and parcel of her world and even well meaning people take part in it.

A woman whose humanity has been diminished at the hands of her loved ones because of sexism and gender roles.

A woman who proves the naysayers wrong by riding out to battle, bringing along Merry who has also been left behind, and proving herself pivotal to the victory.

A woman who only finds hope for the future when she is ceased to be treated as a useful object, when she forges bonds with Merry and Faramir who don't see her as a staff for the men to walk on, nor a faulty one who keeps trying to run off on its own and needs to be brought back, but as an individual with her own hopes and failings and dreams and skills, not defined by what the patriarchy says a woman's role is.

A when she does find hope for life again, she does so not only in finding love and friendship and camaraderie, but in a vocation that will be her own, in a career that will give her own her role in the world, a role that is associated with leadership, and leadership in her own right, not as an adjunct of her husband's.

And this is how she gets her happy ending. From love (Faramir), friendship (Merry), understanding (Eomer, looking at Eowyn anew in the House of Healing) and through independence (becoming a Healer). This is how she gets a happy ending, because this is how she reclaims her personhood.

gandalf is serving butch realness

[ id: a tweet responding to a screenshot of another tweet reading "Don't get me wrong, I [drawn out]love[/] Gandalf's vibes. But I'm begging everyone in fantasy land to give us more badass old **femme** wizards." ravi "shipping up to boston" teixeira @/raviteix captions the screenshot "the epidemic of saying "femme" when you want to say "woman" is actually great because you end up with tweets like this. you mean to tell me gandalf isn't a femme queen? you mean to tell me gandalf is masc? gandalf is serving butch realness?" / ]

Okay, so.

In the film adaptation of The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo gets stabbed by a troll’s spear, and there’s this big dramatic scene where he reveals that he’s been wearing Bilbo’s old mithril corslet under his shirt the whole time.

In the book, Frodo doesn’t tell anyone about the mithril corslet until much later, as the Fellowship is busy running for their lives at the time, and the orcs aren’t kind enough to pause their assault for long enough for the Fellowship to have a mid-battle bonding moment:

Meaning that in the book version, for most of the span between the battle at Balin’s tomb and reaching Lothlórien, apart from Gandalf – who obviously figures it out straight away – the Fellowship have no idea how Frodo survived a troll-spear to the guts with nothing but bruised ribs to show for it. What did they think was going on?

#[boromir voice] i guess hobbits are just Built Different - @everyones-beau

You think you’re joking, but after the stabbing incident and before the mithril corslet is revealed, this exchange happens:

So, I mean.

“Are hobbits indestructible?” asks Aragorn. “Sure, why not,” Frodo replies.