While I don't know EXACTLY how Thranduil/Bilbo sex would feasibly work between them, I know in my heart of hearts Thranduil is the bottom. The Vigorous Spring is insatiable but he's absolutely a pillow princess

Knowing Bilbo’s effect on elvenkings and elven lords (and elves in general), it’s probably just as well Thingol never made it to the Third Age.  He wouldn’t have stood a chance.

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#okay but THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN#look thingol was fully against beren for being a human and then proceeded to become Big Human Friend™ and not only started to like beren#but also took turin in without hesitation#THINGOL WOULDN’T LAST FIVE MINUTES AGAINST BILBO#NOT EVEN A FULL MINUTE (tags via @armenelols)

yes!yes you get it! character development Thingol is human fanboy, sassier the better (and hoyboy him and Thorin would be interesting because not only the direct parallels but his sympathy to Húrin). Thingol is loading Bilbo up with so many mathom gifts. “Daeron I’ve replaced you with this funky little fellow, his signing voice is worse but his poetry entertains me more’

” Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I am afraid, and he gives me courage.”

Just something about Bilbo Baggins retelling the tale of his adventure with Thorin's Company.

It's how initially he hated it, but towards the end, he grew to love it.

It's how, despite all the pain of the losses he experienced, he was willing to tell of them.

It's how he was willing to relive each moment of his adventure, relive each sad and happy moment, just for the happiness and contentment of himself and children.

It's how, regardless of the grief he will go through forever, Bilbo Baggins never once regretted his adventure with a family he found.

Knowing Bilbo’s effect on elvenkings and elven lords (and elves in general), it’s probably just as well Thingol never made it to the Third Age.  He wouldn’t have stood a chance.

Keep reading

#okay but THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN#look thingol was fully against beren for being a human and then proceeded to become Big Human Friend™ and not only started to like beren#but also took turin in without hesitation#THINGOL WOULDN’T LAST FIVE MINUTES AGAINST BILBO#NOT EVEN A FULL MINUTE (tags via @armenelols)

yes!yes you get it! character development Thingol is human fanboy, sassier the better (and hoyboy him and Thorin would be interesting because not only the direct parallels but his sympathy to Húrin). Thingol is loading Bilbo up with so many mathom gifts. “Daeron I’ve replaced you with this funky little fellow, his signing voice is worse but his poetry entertains me more’

Gandalf, taking a hit from his joint: Did you guys know that mithril is super expensive? Like insanely valuable? That it’s very much a finite resource mostly plundered from the earth and invaluable due to its many uses? And also Sauron has most of it so it’s now lost to its Elven and Dwarvish makers? And to think Bilbo’s precious gift of mithril mail is probably sitting in the local Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum. Just makes you think lol ...

Gimli, a dwarf who has lost most of his people’s cultural artefacts: ... I’m sorry Bilbo was given what and did what with it

Frodo, secretly wearing Bilbo’s mithril mail at that very moment but only after nearly 70 years of it sitting in the Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum gathering dust because Bilbo had no idea his cool shirt was worth approximately the net value of their entire country:

Lord of the Rings is a comedy

thinking about bilbo struggling to find the words to describe what thorin was to him, then in the shire, settling on “he was my friend” because that’s all they got to be

that’s all they had time to be

“You finished it.”

“Not quite. There’s room for a little more.”

yeah i love lgbt (legolas gimli bilbo thorin)

fucking obsessed with the big wave of notes i've gotten now that it's june 1st. happy pride month folks

The gay uncles:

And the bi dads:

That's it. That was all I had to say, thank you.

How Bilbo’s writing has got distilled and pared down to poetry, to the rhythm and beauty and images of language instead of sprawling tales of adventure, just as organisation and memory are slowly slipping from him...

They say that when your memory starts going, one of the things that stays the longest, even in deep dementia, are music and songs. And I like to think that's because they're wired to the heart, not the brain.

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

I have a theory that somewhere back up the line gandalf fucked a took. This sounds like complete crack but hear me out. The tooks are rumored to have “fairy blood” which in LOTR terms means either elves or maia. There is an ancestor who’s unusually tall and many of them are noted to live unusually long lives unless they meet with illness or injury, same as the numenorians did. They don’t hve extra pointy ears and elves don’t have a special interest in the line. But who DOES have a special interest in looking after tooks (and bilbo who is a took on his mother’s side/his adopted son frodo)? Gandalf. That dude is ALWAYS fussing over some silly little guy. He regularly brought the old took birthday presents.

Back in the day some bold hobbitess decided to climb that old man and ever since then gandalf has been looking after his line of tiny crazy bastards and no one will convince me otherwise.

I think the biggest disservice of all time is what they did to my man Thranduil in The Hobbit movies. In the book, sure he's a little dramatic when it comes to imprisoning the dwarves until they admit their business, but to be fair, they did go around scaring the shit out of the socially adverse little wood elves. And he helps out Laketown by building them shelters from the cold after their town is destroyed and he goes with Bard and the men from Laketown to demand money for the people of Laketown and Bilbo absolutely adores him basically goes "If I have to fight in this battle, I want to fight to protect Thranduil" and he calls Bilbo "elf-friend" and is overall just a great little guy. And then in the movies, they make him out to be this huge angry greedy bitch and it's so sad because he's not evil :(

Friendship...

I just love the friendship between Bilbo and Elrond, Bilbo and Aragorn, Bilbo and Frodo, and Bilbo and Thranduil, and I'm sad because I've already read all the little fanfictions about Bilbo's friendship with them!

So here are some excerpts from the books in case anyone wants to get inspired:

“Hmmm! it smells like elves!” thought Bilbo, and he looked up at the stars. … He loved elves, though he seldom met them. … Bilbo would have liked to stay a while. Also he would have liked to have a few private words with these people that seemed to know his names and all about him, although he had never seen them before. He thought their opinion of his adventure might be interesting. Elves know a lot and are wondrous folk for news, and know what is going on among the peoples of the land, as quick as water flows, or quicker. (…) They (the dwarves, Gandalf and Bilbo) stayed long in that good house, fourteen days at least, and they found it hard to leave. Bilbo would gladly have stopped therefor ever and ever.

The master of the house was an elf-friend — one of those people whose fathers came into the strange stories before the beginning of History, the wars of the evil goblins and the elves and the first men in the North. In those days of our tale there were still some people who had both elves and heroes of the North for ancestors, and Elrond the master of the house was their chief. — He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer. He comes into many tales, but his part in the story of Bilbo’s great adventure is only a small one, though important (…) His house was perfect, whether you liked food, or sleep, or work, or story-telling, or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all. Evil things did not come into that valley.

(...) Bilbo heard many stories there (...)

“What are moon-letters?” asked the hobbit full of excitement. He loved maps (…) and he also liked runes and letters and cunning handwriting, though when he wrote himself it was a bit thin and spidery.

“Moon-letters are rune-letters, but you cannot see them,” said Elrond, “not when you look straight at them (…)”.

There a warm welcome was made them, and there were many eager ears that evening to hear the tale of their adventures (…). When the tale of their journeyings was told, there were other tales, and yet more tales, tales of long ago, and tales of new things, and tales of no time at all, till Bilbo’s head fell forward on his chest, and he snored comfortably in a corner. He woke to find himself in a white bed, and the moon shining through an open window. (…) “A little sleep does a great cure in the house of Elrond,” said he.

Weariness fell from him soon in that house, and he had many a merry jest and dance, early and late, with the elves of the valley. - The Hobbit

‘(…) you are the heir of Bilbo, the Ring-finder.'

`Dear Bilbo!' said Frodo sleepily. `I wonder where he is. I wish he was here and could hear all about it. It would have made him laugh. (…)

Gloin looked at Frodo and smiled. 'You were very fond of Bilbo were you not?' he asked.

`Yes,' answered Frodo. 'I would rather see him than all the towers and palaces in the world.'

Elrond went forward and stood beside the silent figure. 'Awake little master!’ he said, with a smile. Then, turning to Frodo, he beckoned to him. 'Now at last the hour has come that you have wished for, Frodo,' he said. `Here is a friend that you have long missed.'

The dark figure raised its head and uncovered its face. `Bilbo!' cried Frodo with sudden recognition, and he sprang forward.

`Hello, Frodo my lad!' said Bilbo. `So you have got here at last. Ihoped you would manage it. Well, well! So all this feasting is in your honour, I hear. I hope you enjoyed yourself?'

`What were you doing?'

`Why, sitting and thinking. I do a lot of that nowadays, and this is the best place to do it in, as a rule. Wake up, indeed!' he said, cocking an eye at Elrond. There was a bright twinkle in it and no sign of sleepiness that Frodo could see. 'Wake up! I was not asleep. Master Elrond. If you want to know, you have all come out from your feast too soon, and you have disturbed me-in the middle of making up a song. (…) I shall have to get my friend the Dunadan to help me. Where is he?'

Elrond laughed. `He shall be found,' he said. (...)

They did not notice the arrival of a man clad in dark green cloth. For many minutes he stood looking down at them with a smile. Suddenly Bilbo looked up. 'Ah, there you are at last, Dunadan!' he cried.

`Strider!' said Frodo. `You seem to have a lot of names.' (…)

`Where have you been, my friend? Why weren't you at the feast? The Lady Arwen was there.'

Strider looked down at Bilbo gravely. `I know,' he said. 'But often I must put mirth aside. Elladan and Elrohir have returned out of the Wild (…).

`Well, my dear fellow,' said Bilbo, `now you've heard the news, can't you spare me a moment? I want your help in something urgent. Elrond says this song of mine is to be finished before the end of the evening, and I am stuck. Let's go off into a corner and polish it up!'

Strider smiled. `Come then!' he said. `Let me hear it!'

(…)

`I was not sent to beg any boon, but to seek only the meaning of a riddle,' answered Boromir proudly(…) He looked again at Aragorn, and doubt was in his eyes.

Frodo felt Bilbo stir impatiently at his side. Evidently he was annoyed on his friend's behalf. Standing suddenly up he burst out:

‘(…) Not all those who wander are lost (…)’. Not very good perhaps, but to the point -- if you need more beyond the word of Elrond. If that was worth a journey of a hundred and ten days to hear, you had best listen to it.' He sat down with a snort.

`I made that up myself,' he whispered to Frodo, `for the Dunadan, a long time ago when he first told me about himself. I almost wish that my adventures were not over, and that I could go with him when his day comes.'

Aragorn smiled at him; then he turned to Boromir again. `For my part I forgive your doubt,' he said.

- The Lord Of The Rings.

And for Bilbo and Thranduil, here, see this post: