“Do not call it a straight relationship! I’m bisexual!”

“… The dishes? Well, I do. My boyfriend’s no good at that kind of stuff.”

Noita tip: you really, really should have seen that coming

noita tip: Minä can escape the mountain with giga saw blade and ambrosia. Of course Steve doesn't care for this method. But Minä can also handle Steve with giga saw blade and ambrosia :3

This is the first holy mountain. I hope this gamble pays off, because I cannot handle Scott with gsb and ambrosia!

I can think of lots of piebald(piebald or adjacent black and white splotchy coloring) domestic animals. Rats, cattle, horses, tuxedo cats, dalmatian dogs. all these mammals go two-tone when you (what? domesticate? selectively breed?) them. Their wild ancestors do not have b/w coats.

does it represent a common glitch or failure state of the mammal coat-coloring algorithm? It feels like something one of my spreadsheets would do under malformed conditions :3

. The rest of my dreams today were not as fun. I had 15 dreams where I woke up in bed wearing three coats and a scarf.

for the first 8 dreams: i take my extra coats off. then i grab the final sword from under the blankets and go to the bathroom. It’s close to the bedroom, and there’s only one way in or out, so i can hole up there.

for the other seven: i don’t bother undressing. I wander outside and hover along the front garden or out into the town. I shed coats along the way, dropping them in the street as i go. I don’t drop the scarf though. I like that scarf. It’s the one __ made me back when i got kicked out of my house. even if i know it’s a dream i still don’t want to drop that scarf :)

most memorable of the 15: i get outside and it’s raining. I float down the street. pizza hut is closed but i follow a doordasher inside. I take refuge in the bathroom. Oops, this pizza hut is a front for drug trafficking! I accidentally overhear a sensitive conversation coming from the other stall.

when the gangsters realize i’m there, they open my stall. The short one tells me all the ways he can kill me: fists, pulling teeth, torture me with a drill or just shoot me. I laugh, because this is dream 12 and I know their bullets can’t hurt me unless I let them.

So i shove my way outside and walk off, they shoot me 4 or 5 times in the back, but i don’t even look at them, i just hop hop hop away to the rooftops. It has stopped raining

OK, I slept for a few more hours. I had a dream my grandma was visiting, and I was playing Noita on her iPad on the floor. She was at the desk and I was laying on the floor with the ipad

I was in an optional temple in “world 5”. there were doors (that would phase in and out on a rhythm) separating all the chambers. there were white firebolts that would come up from the floors and slowly seek mina. It was hard to dodge them all, and they didn’t despawn, so more kept spawning. I could dodge through a door right as it was closing to shake them off.

I tapped a fullscreen button on the ipad and the screen got seriously long! It went all the way from the desk to the door- that’s 7 feet! , but the ipad stayed just nine inches wide. I could see all the way to the bottom of the level!

I crawled to the bottom of the ipad, waited for the doors to open, and double-tapped to dash there :D i got the secret item :D

Aches, chills and vertigo. Blankets, save me! Space heater, save me! Ibuprofen, save me! Jerking off, save me!