If only Bilbo's tears had the same magic...
Flower, gleam and glow Let your power shine Make the clock reverse Bring back what once was mine Heal what has been hurt Change the Fates' design Save what has been lost Bring back what once was mine What once was mine.
Tangled, Rapunzel song.
The night before the battle.
Dwarves in the Lonely Mountain: build fortifications, put on armor, choose weapons.
Meanwhile, Bilbo and co. in Thranduil's camp tent:
Thorin: Bilbo and I have the same taste. He considers me irresistible, majestic and simply the best, and I think so too.
Thorin: I will have war!
Thranduil: attack!!!
Me: [working in my garden and leaning over to take a closer look] so what we have here? Are the pixies back from the forest and terrifying my garden dwarves? The poor fellows just kicked that lizard out of their house and now there’s a new misfortune!! And what is this tiny creature with furry feet that they brought with them from their walk?
Thorin didn't answer. There was silence in the room, only the rain continued to patter outside the windows. Bilbo turned his gaze to Thorin and sat up slightly on the pillows.
“Why didn’t you say anything about the upcoming wedding or coronation? And how could you leave bride halfway to Erebor, because the road is full of difficulties and dangers?”
Thorin calmly adjusted the pillows under Bilbo and looked at him carefully. This look made Bilbo feel hot and somehow restless. He was afraid that Thorin would now silently get up and leave, because the King should not answer to anyone, especially to some hobbit. And although Bilbo understood that he had just received unequivocal confirmation that he was not just ‘some hobbit’, since they were rushing towards him in the middle of the night and in a thunderstorm just because he was a little sick. But Thorin had no intention of leaving anywhere; he remained sitting on the edge of the bed, carefully looking at Bilbo.
“First of all, I was going to tell you everything and explain myself to you. But I wanted to do it a little later, when the job was done, that is, after the wedding and coronation. Secondly, the bride is surrounded by security and nothing should happen to her, but in any case, her groom should first of all take care of the bride’s safety. Well, since Fili is always nearby, I think the future queen of Erebor will soon arrive here safe and sound.”
Probably, even if at that moment the thunder had thundered with all the power it was capable of, it would not have had the same effect on Bilbo as Thorin's words did. Like a flash of lightning, the realization of what he had heard finally put everything in its place for the hobbit. So this is Fili's bride, but then why is she called the future queen? Thorin gives up the throne and gives it to his eldest nephew? But why? And why couldn't he tell Bilbo all this earlier?
Bilbo, deciding that this night he should find out everything to the end, bombarded Thorin with these questions. Thorin, realizing that the hobbit would not calm down until he found out the whole truth, decided to explain himself. Of course, this is not how he imagined the explanation with Bilbo, but it was useless to persuade hobbit to wait at least until the morning.
Taking Bilbo's small hand into his again, Thorin tried to explain everything.
“I have long wanted to explain myself to you, Bilbo, but I felt that I had no right to tell you what I wanted to say all this time. At first I thought that I had no right to do this because we were only on the way to our goal, to Erebor. Then, essentially, the unknown lay ahead of us, and I couldn’t offer you anything, because I had nothing. Then we conquered the Mountain and it seemed to me that having received all its riches and becoming the rightful King, I could finally talk seriously with you, but I saw that all this luxury and all this greatness did not attract you, this world was alien to you and you're clearly not happy here. But for me by that time the choice was already obvious - I was ready to leave the throne of Erebor and all the riches of the Mountain if you... If you, Bilbo, accepted my offer and agreed to be with me until the end of my days. But I understood that you would not allow me to lay down my crown and leave Erebor in order to become an ordinary dwarf and just be next to you. Therefore, I wanted to first crown Fili, at the same time finding him a worthy life partner and the mother of future heirs, and then ask you whether you would agree to be with me. And that is why I devoted so much time to matters of national importance - I wanted to leave Erebor restored and strengthened. And now, when everything seems to be going according to plan, I want to finally ask you, Bilbo Baggins, will you agree to connect your life with a simple but hardworking dwarf, whose heart from the moment of our first meeting belongs and will always belong only to you?”
Bilbo listened and couldn't believe it. How is it possible that everything in life changes completely like that, in just a minute? Even in the evening he lay semi-delirious and was tormented by thoughts about the upcoming royal wedding, that love for Thorin would remain only the biggest bleeding wound in his heart, that his whole life now essentially had no meaning... And so, Thorin , his Thorin, sits next to him on the bed and confesses his love to him, Bilbo, and asks to spend the rest of his days together!
Bilbo could not hold back his tears: at first they just flowed quietly down his cheeks, and then they simply poured out of his eyes in a stream. He sat up in bed and almost threw himself into Thorin's arms, clinging to him and clinging to the collar of his shirt with his fingers.
Thorin hugged him, stroking his head and rocking him gently.
“I hope I understood you correctly and this means YES?”
Bilbo said nothing, only nodded lightly at Thorin's shoulder and pressed himself even closer to him. Now this is definitely his Thorin, his and only his! And Bilbo will never let him go anywhere else and will never give him to anyone.
By morning, Bilbo's fever subsided a little, but overall the hobbit did not feel any better. His head was still dizzy and Bilbo didn’t get out of bed that day. He refused to eat, only drank a decoction of herbs that the dwarves brewed for him. In the evening, the fever intensified again, but Bilbo could not sleep: thoughts tearing apart his consciousness about Thorin and a terrible thunderstorm outside the window interfered with him. Lightning flashed and the rain poured like a wall, thundering like hail along the mountainside.
Bilbo either fell into short periods of sleep, in which he saw Thorin or his native Shire, or simply lay quietly, clutching the edges of the blanket in his fists and listening to the howling of the wind outside the window. At the end, Bilbo fell into another restless sleep again, tossing around in bed and breathing heavily, and after some time he woke up, but not from the howling of the wind and the crash of rain, but from the fact that someone was gently stroking his head and called by name.
“Bilbo, can you hear me?” such a familiar and calm voice said quietly.
Bilbo opened his eyes. Even despite the fatigue from fighting the disease and the twilight in the room, he could not be mistaken - Thorin was sitting on the bed next to him. In the glow of the candle, which the dwarf had apparently lit while Bilbo slept, Thorin's face looked worried and very tired. He was wearing a traveling suit, and his hair and shoulders were wet from the rain. Thorin removed his hand from Bilbo's head and instead took his hand in his, covering it with his other palm.
“Are you really here or am I dreaming all this?” Bilbo whispered. “How did you get here?”
“Well, of course I’m here,” Thorin smiled for a moment, but then his face became serious again. “How are you feeling, Bilbo?”
“Better,” said Bilbo, and it was true.
As soon as he saw Thorin, his health really improved. But Bilbo remembered about the wedding, about the fact that Thorin must now accompany the bride to the Mountain. Have they already arrived? So fast?
As if reading his thoughts, Thorin hastened to explain everything.
“As you probably already know, I left on business for a while, but on the way back, dwarves sent me a raven with a message that you were very sick. Therefore, I was forced to leave my companions and gallop forward, because the whole company would have been here only in a few days, and I could not wait so long without knowing what was wrong with you.”
“But how can this be?” Bilbo turned away from Thorin, hiding his face in the pillows.
The hobbit did not understand anything. Thorin was so worried about him that he left bride somewhere on the way to Erebor, even if accompanied by guards, relatives and servants? And rode at full speed even in such a terrible thunderstorm in order to quickly return and make sure that everything was okay with Bilbo?
Thorin leaned towards Bilbo and placed his hand on his forehead. There was no fever, but the hobbit was so exhausted that it seemed even more defenseless.
Without looking at Thorin, Bilbo said very quietly, as if addressing the wall, “I was in that room and saw the mirror. I know everything.”
Thorin was going to get married!..
This news pierced Bilbo's heart like a Morgul-arrow and began to slowly spread poison throughout his body, poisoning all his thoughts and feelings. What, what was he waiting for? Stupid, stupid hobbit, what did he hope for? That Thorin would notice his feelings or even possibly respond to them? Will Thorin, the King of Erebor, return the love of some hobbit from the Shire? But when and why did this strange confidence arise in the hobbit’s heart that Thorin was also not indifferent to him? The dwarf never promised him anything. At least, nothing like this was ever discussed. But these piercing glances that Thorin cast at Bilbo, his concern for the smallest and most inexperienced participant in the campaign, his desire to protect the hobbit... Was all this just a manifestation of friendship and solidarity and nothing more? Yes, it is, and Bilbo invented all this for himself, because he really wanted the one whom he loved so much at first sight to also have reciprocal feelings for him.
That's all decided. Finally, the most cherished reason was found that should have prompted Bilbo to return home. Now he had one goal - to leave as quickly as possible. And the best thing is right now.
He got out of bed and hastily, as if delirious, began to pack his things. He will not take anything from here, he does not even need the 14th share of the treasure, which rightfully belongs to Bilbo. All he will take with him is the sword Sting and the methril-coat that Thorin once gave him.
Thorin... The thought that he was now just going to run away haunted the hobbit. No, he can't do that. He must say goodbye to Thorin, Bilbo must see his King for the last time. Bilbo will not show him that he knows anything about the wedding, because Thorin has never even hinted at such a grandiose upcoming event, although everything was planned so long ago. So Thorin didn't want Bilbo to know. However, now all this no longer mattered.
Bilbo washed his face with cold water, took a deep breath and left the room. He went straight to the throne room, where, as usual, Thorin should have been at this time, but the King was not there. Bilbo went to the library, then to the treasury, then to the armory - all in vain, Thorin was nowhere to be found. He was about to go to the forge when he came across Bofur in one of the many corridors.
“Bilbo! I didn't expect to see you! What are you doing here?” Bofur asked animatedly.
“I... I'm looking for Thorin. I really need to talk to him, but I can’t find him anywhere,” Bilbo said quietly, trying to speak as evenly and calmly as possible.
However, neither Bilbo's exaggeratedly calm tone nor, as it seemed to the hobbit himself, the confident expression on his face could deceive Bofur. Walking a little closer to the hobbit, the dwarf looked him straight in the face.
“Bilbo, what happened? You don't look like yourself! It's like you were crying or...”
Bofur came even closer and put his hands on Bilbo's shoulders. So he wanted to calm the hobbit, with whom, in his opinion, something was wrong. And then Bofur felt that Bilbo was trembling all over. He looked at the hobbit in surprise, not knowing what to say.
Bilbo stood, shifting from foot to foot, waiting for Bofur to give him an answer where to look for Thorin. Finally, Bofur seemed to understand what was happening. He lightly touched the hobbit's forehead and at the same moment nodded to himself. That’s right - Bilbo has a fever, the hobbit is sick, that’s why he looks so strange, talks and trembles all over. And Bofur was right - Bilbo’s temperature really rose from all these experiences and he could barely stand on his feet.
“Bilbo, you’re burning all over, you need to go to bed!” Bofur said excitedly. “Come on, I’ll help you get to your room.”
“No, Bofur, you don’t understand,” Bilbo began to protest, although he himself already felt that he was getting sick. “I really really need to talk to Thorin!”
“I understand Bilbo, but you wouldn’t be able to talk to him now anyway: Thorin went with Fili and Kili to meet dear guests who should arrive in Erebor in a few days. I think you've already heard about the upcoming wedding and coronation?” said the dwarf.
Bilbo looked away. It was unbearable to hear about the wedding, and to hear that Thorin personally went to meet the bride and accompany her to Erebor was for some reason especially painful. How he wanted to just close his eyes and instantly be transported home to Bag End! The thought that now, due to his health, he would not be able to leave in the near future and that he would have to see the bride or even attend the wedding filled the hobbit with horror. But there was nothing he could do now; he could only hope that the fever would subside by morning and he could hit the road.
Bofur, without further ado, grabbed Bilbo's arm and helped the hobbit to his room. Then they called a doctor to Bilbo, gave him a decoction of medicinal herbs to drink and put him to rest. But the hobbit already saw all this as if in a fog, it seemed to him that he no longer felt his own body, there was some kind of emptiness in his head, but there was still a stone on his soul, the weight of which deprived Bilbo of peace.
Modern AU.
Bilbo: [text message] I'm leaving.
Thorin: [text message] WHAT??
Thorin: Bilbo, I don't understand what happened.
Thorin: Bilbo, I'm in an important meeting right now and I can't call back.
Thorin: Let me call you back as soon as I'm free and we will calmly discuss everything.
Thorin: Is it because I work too much and don't pay enough attention to you?
Thorin: Or is it because I keep forgetting to put the cap on toothpaste tube?
Thorin: I beg you, let's talk first. Yes, we have quarrels, but we feel so good together!
Thorin: Bilbo, I love you more than anything in the world, I don't need anyone except you, I can’t live without you!!!
Thorin: Bilbo, please answer!
Bilbo: I'm leaving HOME. To the market for fresh vegetables. I wanted to ask if you forgot your house keys.
Bilbo: You're a drama queen.
That morning seemed to bode well for nothing bad. Bilbo woke up and, having washed and dressed, went to breakfast. There was some kind of unusual excitement in the corridors, not the same as always. The dwarves were fussing around, carrying various things, chests and even interior items somewhere. This seemed strange to Bilbo, but he did not attach any importance to it. Until he saw that all these items were being carried into one room, which was located in the same wing of the palace as his bedroom, as well as the bedrooms of Thorin and his nephews. Hobbits are famous for their curiosity and Bilbo, of course, was no exception. He followed the dwarves carrying utensils into this huge room. It was amazing how spacious and bright it was! In the middle there was a wide four-poster bed, wardrobes made of expensive wood were placed along the walls, and several chests with rich inlay stood next to the window. Who is this room for? Bilbo didn't understand, but he was very intrigued.
And then he saw a thing more beautiful than which he had never seen before. Yes, hobbits are indifferent to wealth and gold, but they are able to appreciate the skill of jewelers and the work of skilled craftsmen. Near the bed stood a huge mirror, the frame of which was richly decorated with sapphires of marvelous purity.
“The color is the same as Thorin’s eyes,” thought Bilbo.
He walked closer to the mirror. Beautiful and amazing, it seemed to attract the hobbit to itself. In the reflection of the mirror, Bilbo seemed to look even smaller than he actually was. Suddenly, behind him in the reflection, he saw Bombur. He brought carpets, and then, seeing Bilbo looking in the mirror, he decided to come closer. Bilbo shuddered, not knowing why he was afraid. Bombur only laughed in response.
“Bilbo, it's me! Don't you recognize your friends anymore?” the dwarf thundered cheerfully.
“No, what are you talking about?” Bilbo was a little embarrassed. “I just shouldn’t have been here, it was out of surprise.”
“Luxurious mirror, isn't it?” Bombur nodded towards the mirror. “Like the whole room. No wonder, this is for our future queen!”
There was a pause. In the silence that followed, it was as if Bilbo's heartbeat could be heard.
“What?” that's all Bilbo could say.
But Bombur, who did not notice the hobbit’s reaction to his last words, calmly continued.
“This room is reserved by order of Thorin for our future queen. And the mirror is a special wedding gift for her; it once belonged to the mother of Thorin, Frerin and Dis. The bride will arrive in Erebor in a few days, along with her family and retinue, and a grand wedding awaits us. Didn't you know? It's still a secret, but I thought everyone close to the royal family knew it. It seems that the official coronation will take place then, which has not happened yet”, he said.
Bilbo staggered. It seemed to him that he was about to fall, but he could not allow this, especially in front of others. His legs felt like they were made of cotton, vision was swimming, everything was confused in the head. It was necessary to leave this room, Bilbo really wanted to be alone, locking himself in his bedroom. He didn't want to listen anything anymore; he had learned enough. Several more dwarves entered the room, calling Bombur and playfully reproaching him for shirking his work. He laughed loudly and trudged into the corridor to help carry the table.
Taking advantage of this, Bilbo put on as realistic an appearance of calm as possible on his face and left the room. The corridor seemed to go on forever. Finally the hobbit got into his bedroom and, bolting the door, collapsed into bed. There was no longer even a thought about breakfast. Actually, now there were no thoughts about anything, except for one thing - Thorin was going to get married!
Erebor was retaken, Thorin and his nephews survived, and now restoration work is in full swing in the kingdom. Bilbo begins to feel lonely and unwanted and looks for a reason to return home. But it’s very difficult for him to do this, because his love for Thorin, which he never admitted, breaks the hobbit’s heart. And then, one not very wonderful day, the reason is found - Bilbo learns a secret that was hidden from him until the last: Erebor is preparing for the wedding of the King under the Mountain.
Of course, the fact that Erebor was successfully recaptured and was being restored right before our eyes could not but rejoice. It is amazing how quickly the dwarves resurrected the former appearance of this mighty kingdom, recreating it even more magnificent and perfect than before. No less surprising for many was the fact that Thorin, the son of Thrain, a mighty warrior and now the rightful King, worked equally with everyone, from moving stones to working in a forge.
However, for those who were closely acquainted with Thorin and knew him well, this was not something out of the ordinary. All 12 dwarves from the squad, during their long journey together, managed to get to know the future King well enough to understand that in his soul he remained the same as they remembered him that evening in Bag End, when their long adventure was just beginning. The fourteenth member of the group, the hobbit named Bilbo Baggins, also seemed to understand this. Thorin's dragon sickness finally subsided, and the fact that he managed to survive the Battle of the Five Armies finally freed Thorin's mind from thoughts about gold and riches as the meaning of life, gave him strength and inspired him to restore his kingdom. Still, Bilbo felt some discomfort. Something has changed in Thorin's attitude towards the hobbit, but what? Bilbo could not give himself an answer to this question that tormented him so much.
Yes, Thorin had become distant, they no longer spent as much time together as before. There were no more long conversations until dawn, no more gatherings around the fire when you could sit closer to Thorin and slightly, as if by chance, snuggle up to him, as if by accident. Now Bilbo could not even see Thorin for a whole day, because he was either working in the forge, or sitting with Balin and other visiting dwarves in the library for papers, or receiving important guests. And then he even began to go with his nephews or Dwalin on visits to other kingdoms, leaving Erebor for a long time. However, maybe these visits were not so long, but for Bilbo, who realized that Thorin was not in Erebor and that he had gone somewhere far away, these days became real torture. He spent hours sitting by the window in his bedroom, which had a stunning view of the Mountain. But neither the wonderful view, nor the richly decorated room that was assigned to him, nor even the delicious food that was now in abundance in the kingdom, pleased Bilbo. And okay, everything else, but the fact that the hobbit wasn’t happy with the treats was definitely a bad sign!
Bilbo didn't understand why he was here. Now that Erebor had been retaken and its restoration was underway, the hobbit was no longer needed here. He probably already looked out of place under these stone arches, replete with inlays of precious stones. He is just a little hobbit, who was once invited by 13 dwarves on a journey and given a unique opportunity to take part in a real adventure. His mission here is completed and he must leave. This thought, although heartbreaking, firmly took hold in Bilbo’s mind and he gradually got used to it. And it broke his heart for only one reason, whose name was Thorin. Bilbo could not, did not want to part with him. The hobbit really wanted to see his cute mink again, return to his native land and again become just Bilbo Baggins from Bag End. But he understood that even if he left, his heart would forever remain here, with Thorin. The little hobbit’s little heart belongs to Thorin, and he doesn’t even know about it. Bilbo needed to leave, but he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was looking for a reason to delay his return home, and since all the dwarves from the detachment, and even those whom he had met already here, after the battle, were only glad that Bilbo was still with them, the hobbit still remained in Erebor , tormented by melancholy and a feeling of loneliness and uselessness.
And Thorin continued to solve state issues, only occasionally devoting some of his precious time to Bilbo. But Bilbo was happy with these crumbs too. At such hours they talked again, walking in the fresh air or sitting in the huge library by the fireplace. Sometimes Bilbo caught the gaze of blue eyes on himself, when, as it seemed to Thorin, the hobbit did not notice that they were looking at him. When they were alone, Bilbo always thought that Thorin wanted to tell him something, but did not dare. And when the king did start a conversation, it concerned exclusively matters of national importance and political issues. Bilbo was not interested in these conversations, but he listened carefully, because it was Thorin, his Thorin, speaking. And it doesn’t matter at all what was discussed, just to hear this velvety, familiar voice. Always hear. And at such moments the hobbit felt a lump in his throat. He again remembered that this could not last long.
