People will be like 

“You gotta be realistic with your storytelling”

and honestly, no I do not. 

Let me tell you about a gay woman who’s literally perfect in every way and can talk to dragons and has three buff girlfriends who dote on her in every way and in this universe there is no such thing as rape or torture. 

Why? 

Because I fucking said so. 

That’s literally all it is - what’s the worst that can happen? Edgelord grimbois wont read my story about happy gay women who talk to dragons and dont abuse people? 

Oh dear, however shall I cope? 

Oh yeaaaah. By writing my little gay happy world into its next season. 

So, yeah, go write whatever the fuck you want. 

I turned on closed captions for the Swedish Chef and I just started weeping with laughter.

he

“The way Nova fell asleep in her dad’s lap is priceless.”

(Source)

instead of keysmashing i’m gonna start scatting instead

LMAOOOO SHABA DOOP DAA DADO DAAAP DADO DAABAADABOOP DAAA DADOOP BAADABOOP DAABADOOP DAA

sticks m’legy out real far

Comedy. Gold.

Old dog out for a comfy stroll

(via)

I've been pretty consistently getting third place every race in Mario Kart ever since me & my dad & brother started playing together regularly (early 2020) and I just figured it was because I sucked but then me and dad switched controllers for a race and he was like "???? Ashland this thing is very broken". So we got new controllers and now I'm winning very regularly. Like just absolutely crushing them. It's been very funny.

Literally I sat down on the couch one evening completely prepared to lose horrifically but have fun anyways and my brother passed me a new controller and I won first place seven tracks in a row. It was like this

いまから いっしょに あさねでち

Kofu and master J are going to take a morning nap together

In the otter’s head: