Scaly-Backed Cockroach

Written for the Triple-Heart-Attack Valentine-Inspired Fanfiction Challenge. “Write three one-shot stories: a smut piece, an asexual romance, and a platonic friendship.” This is the smut entry.

It was a hot summer night. Marianne and Bog were in bed, blanket under them in deference to the heat and how it often got thrown off anyway during moments of passion.

“Hey, Bog?” said Marianne. “There’s … something I was thinking we could do. Or, something I was hoping I could do to you.”

Bog raised a leaf-like eyebrow, clearly intrigued.

“You know how much I enjoy your ideas, Tough Girl. What’s this one?”

“Well … you need to lie down on your stomach.”

Bog’s other eyebrow went up and he obeyed.

Marianne kissed the ultra-sensitive spot on his lower back. Bog gasped. She licked the spot, and he bucked his hips, thrusting into the pile of spongy moss that was their mattress.

Marianne opened her wings; Bog must have seen the movement in his peripheral vision, because he turned his head to watch her. Rather than crawl over him, she fluttered into the air. Their only point of contact was her lips as she kissed his back, over and over.

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Capture, Cavalry, Confusion, Courtship

Chapter 2: In Which Dawn Discovers Sunny Is Missing 

“Marianne!" 

She lowered her sword right away. Dawn didn’t sound that close but she sounded airborne and could move in quickly, and Marianne didn’t want to skewer her sister. 

"What’s up, Dawn?" 

"Do you know where Sunny is?" 

Marianne was tempted to dismiss this, but on the other hand, Dawn and Sunny had nearly been eaten by a lizard earlier that day, so it wasn’t unreasonable for Dawn to get a little clingy in the aftermath. 

"He’s probably helping set up for the festival and Spring Dance tonight." 

"He’s not, though.” Marianne lifted her blindfold. Dawn was wringing her hands. “Pare and Rosemary and Glen and Harper and Della have all come to me asking if I know where he is, because he’s supposed to be helping but he’s not there! And he’s not at his house, and I asked at the courier office and they said he doesn’t work today because he was helping with the Ball earlier and he’s helping with the Dance tonight, so they don’t know where he is either, and then his parents saw me and asked if I knew where he was, because people have been asking them, too, and I’m getting really worried." 

"Okay, Dawn, breathe …” Marianne sheathed her sword. “Where else could he be?" 

"I – I don’t – know – and – what if another lizard got him?!" 

"Do you want to check the dandelion patch by the border, to make sure the lizard’s gone?" 

Dawn took a deep breath. "Okay. And you’ll come with me, right?" 

"Of course." 

The burrow the lizard had sprung out of was empty, though Marianne had her sword out again just in case. There was no sign of Sunny and no new signs of a chase. Marianne’s and Dawn’s handmaidens scattered to look more closely, coming back once in a while with tiny heads shaking to pat Dawn comfortingly on the cheek. 

A throat cleared, coming from a direction they didn’t usually hear voices. "Message to the Fairy Kingdom!" 

A tiny, snaggle-toothed goblin stood at the edge of the border, waving a scroll at them. 

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Chapter 4: In Which A Rescue Mission Is Planned 

“To His Majesty the Fairy King from His Majesty the Bog King,” Dawn read out loud. “I have been forced to imprison one of your subjects for trespassing and possession of contraband. An elf has crossed the closed border into the Dark Forest and was upon capture discovered to be carrying a primrose petal." 

She and Marianne both looked up at the severed flower stems. 

"The elf is being held in my dungeons until a sentence has been decided and imposed.” Dawn gasped. “The goblins have Sunny! We have to go save him!" 

"Not by ourselves!” Marianne grabbed Dawn’s ankle before Dawn could dart off into the trees. “We’ll go back to the castle and get help. We at least have to tell Dad before we go off into hostile territory." 

The Fairy Court was not as helpful as the princesses had hoped. Roland seemed to be the only one at all interested, and he was suggesting, "If we were to rally an army –" 

"We are trying not to escalate this into a war!” Marianne snapped at him. 

“You can’t have it both ways, Princess. Either the elf’s important enough to go to war over or he’s not important at all." 

SLAP! 

"THE ELF’S NAME IS SUNNY AND I LOVE HIM!” Dawn shrieked, her palm stinging. 

There was a moment of absolute silence. Then Dawn gasped, and fled. Marianne went after her. 

“Let’s give the princesses a moment to recompose themselves,” one of the lords suggested. 

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Chapter 5: In Which A Rescue Mission Is Enacted 

“If no one’s going to help, we’ll just rescue Sunny ourselves.”

Marianne tensed up at the border. She grabbed Dawn’s hand and held it tightly as they crossed, expecting at any moment for one of them to be snatched away.

When that didn’t happen in the first five seconds, she let out a slow breath and let go.

The mushroom gasped at the bright wings flashing overhead.

“Two fairies have crossed the border!” they hissed to their neighbour up the line.

Dawn stayed close to Marianne for once, instead of dancing through the air around her. She gasped when they nearly flew into a spider web.

“Stay behind me.” Marianne drew her sword.

They dodged the web and were nearly bitten by a plant. Dawn bumped into another plant, causing it to reach up and fan out as though to catch them.

A goblin scout spotted the two fairies, and the scroll that the more brightly-coloured one carried, with the Bog King’s seal cracked but visible. They blew the signal horn in a sequence rarely used – strange visitors were on their way to the castle.

Thang burst into the throne room, interrupting Griselda’s song. Bog was both relieved and annoyed.

“Sire, news from the mushrooms! Dune berries havoc and smoulder!”

“That’s not it!” said Stuff. “Two fairies have crossed the border! And they’re nearly here!”

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Chapter 6: In Which Negotiations Begin 

“I am Princess Dawn of the Fairy Kingdom and I demand that you release the elf Sunny into my custody!" 

The dark-clad fairy behind the princess put one hand over her eyes and shook her head. 

"The elf trespassed in my kingdom and violated my laws,” said Bog flatly. “And I don’t believe he gave a name." 

"An elf by that name disappeared a few hours before your message arrived,” said the other fairy, now resting her hand on the hilt of a sword. Probably a bodyguard, to make sure the reckless princess didn’t get herself killed. “Before negotiating the terms of his release, and before deciding whether imprisoning a subject of the Fairy Kingdom is to be taken as an act of unwarranted aggression by the Dark Forest, or if his actions justify your response, we’d like to speak to your prisoner, to ensure he’s … currently unharmed." 

Bog stood at his full height – neither fairy cringed – and cracked his neck. 

"This way." 

(Super-short chapter is super-short. There’s a reason I decided not to bother with a ‘Read More’ on this story’s chapters.)

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Chapter 7: In Which Sunny Confesses To Dawn 

“Sunny!" 

"Dawn?" 

"You’re okay!" 

"Dawn, what are you doing here?" 

"Marianne and I came to save you!” She reached through the bars and he took her hand. “Don’t worry, we’ll make the goblins let you go." 

"Dawn … I …” He shook his head. “You shouldn’t have … I’m not …" 

"And don’t you dare say you aren’t worth it! You are worth every risk, Sunny; I love you so much.” Dawn blushed gorgeously. “I know that sounds like it came out of nowhere, but I do love you, and even if you don’t love me back that way, you’re still my best friend –" 

"I love you, too.” She went starry-eyed. It killed Sunny to take that from her. “And, there’s something else I need to tell you." 

Below them, Marianne and the Bog King were debating his sentence. 

"If trespassing is so terrible, then I would think you would want him out of your kingdom, so it shouldn’t be a hardship to give him back to ours." 

"That’s not the worst of what he did. Do you know what primroses are for?" 

"I’m aware, yes, and I’ll have you know that the Fairy Kingdom restricts the use of love potions as well, so it’s not like he’d be getting off the hook entirely." 

"YOU WHAT?” Dawn’s wings closed and she fell to the ground, reopening them just enough not to hurt herself when she landed. She dropped to her knees, buried her face in her hands, and started sobbing. 

In that moment, the sheer awkwardness of being facing with a crying stranger would have made the Bog King yield to almost any concession if it would make them leave. 

Ignoring him, Marianne went to Dawn and gently hugged her, saying in her fiercest whisper, “What did he do?" 

(Love potions aren’t outright banned in the Fairy Kingdom, yet, but the restrictions Marianne mentions are that, per my headcanon, the Fairy Kingdom only permits use of love potions between couples in arranged marriages.) 

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Chapter 9: In Which Bog And Marianne Fight 

It turned out the elf had actually been planning to use the love potion on the fairy princess. Her bodyguard looked absolutely enraged at that, and Bog couldn’t imagine the Fairy King would be any happier. 

Any punishment Bog could mete out against the little invader would likely pale in comparison to the wrath of a protective father. 

He was about to tell them they could go, when Marianne (that was what the princess called her) rounded on him. 

“I’ll fight you for him. I win, we take Sunny home to face our justice. You win, he stays here and faces yours." 

… Well, that could be fun. Marianne clearly needed to vent some rage and Bog could do with an outlet as well. It had been a long time since he had fought someone else with wings. 

"Let’s take this back upstairs." 

The elf was restrained and brought up to join the audience. Stuff and Thang were both practically bouncing with excitement. The fairy princess looked worried and grim, but oddly pleased. 

Thang claimed the honour of counting down the fight. "Three … two … one – GO!" 

Marianne howled and threw herself at Bog, sword-first. He barely got his staff up in time to block her. 

She held the offensive for several minutes, stabbing and slashing at him while he dodged and swatted her blade away. 

Then Bog got a lucky hit, knocking her sword into the air – but then she grabbed his sceptre and pulled him closer and kicked him in the chest, using the leverage to launch herself and catch the sword before it hit the ground. 

"Impressive,” he said. 

The fight may have become slightly more … artistic, after that. Bog twirled his staff to get momentum for a strike. Marianne feinted an attack with one hand and rolled her sword over her shoulders to catch it in the other and strike from Bog’s other side. Bog found himself mimicking some of her flashier moves. He caught her mimicking him once or twice in return. 

“You fight well.” He hastily covered that up by adding, “for a fairy." 

"Wish I could say the same for you." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I don’t know – I was expecting –” she knocked his staff aside and twirled closer for her next attack – “more?" 

Bog nearly roared, launching a new series of blows that drove his opponent back and into the air, following her up. They ended up destroying one of his chandeliers before tiring themselves out enough to have to land. 

Panting, shaking, Marianne raised her sword and pointed it at Bog’s heart. 

"I yield." 

She smiled. The tip of her sword hit the floor with a clang. 

There was applause. Griselda had joined the audience, and was saying to the princess, "Of course you won’t want to just fly off right after that, so how about you all have something to eat before you go?" 

Marianne glanced sideways at Bog and hissed, "Uh, who is –?" 

"My mother,” he said in exasperation. 

The elf was untied and Griselda bustled them all into the dining room, which she had decorated with hearts and streamers at some point since lunch. Bog groaned and decided that he didn’t want to know. 

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Chapter 10: In Which The Army Is Rebuffed 

Roland openly shuddered in disgust at his surroundings. The Dark Forest was so … dark, and creepy, and full of disgusting rustling creatures and foul-smelling oozes … 

Even the castle was gross; a rotten tree with a skull for a doorway. A swarm of goblins were blocking the army’s path. 

“On behalf of the Fairy Kingdom,” he announced to them, “I demand the release of all prisoners held by the Dark Forest who are rightfully citizens of our land." 

The goblins muttered amongst themselves at that, until one piped up loud enough for Roland to hear, "Maybe they followed their princess?" 

"You mean the princess-es … cesses … ses,” Roland corrected. 

“Are. You. KIDDING ME?" 

Uh-oh. Marianne was coming out of the castle, flying over the heads of the goblins alongside some kind of bug-goblin hybrid. She did not look happy to see him. 

"I explicitly said,” she informed Roland’s army, “that we are trying to resolve this matter without provoking the Dark Forest into war. Tell us, Roland, what exactly made you feel justified in undermining my orders and authority as Heir to the Throne?" 

"Your father, the King, has ordered me to do whatever it takes to bring you home safely." 

"Oh, good. Then you can escort Dawn and Sunny back to the border while I finish smoothing over the diplomatic snarl that you just made worse." 

The bizarre monstrosity beside her was apparently the goblins’ king, and he arranged an escort of his own soldiers to make sure none of the fairy army ‘got lost’ on the way out of the Dark Forest. 

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Epilogue: In Which Matters Conclude With A Montage 

“You’re the Princess?” Bog demanded. 

“You didn’t know?" 

"I thought you were the princess’ bodyguard!" 

"Okay, so I can be kind of protective of my sister, but can you blame me? I mean, if she can’t even trust her own best friend …” Marianne cast a dark look in Sunny’s direction. 

“So.” Bog was using his sceptre as a walking stick, as they followed the army back to the border. “What happens now?" 

Sunny’s trial was huge. Scandal rocked the kingdom when it came out that the whole plan had involved both princesses being coerced into marriage. Roland was arrested for conspiracy. 

Dawn visited Sunny in the dungeon every day. Even when she was upset with him, she still loved him. 

Bog and Marianne got in the habit of meeting at the border to talk. Sometimes her sister or father or his mother would join them, but more often, they met alone. 

Marianne and Bog were roughly equal in skill when they sparred. Meeting to do that became a habit as well. 

The next spring, elves, brownies, fairies, and sprites were helping the goblins cut down and dispose of the primroses. 

Sunny’s sentence was a lesser one, as he was considered as much a victim of Roland’s charisma as a genuine co-conspirator. After a single year, he was released. 

After Marianne and the Bog King had been meeting for a year and a half, Griselda, Stuff, and Thang quietly started placing bets on when the Bog King would overturn the love ban. 

The Sugar Plum Fairy was freed of her prison, on the condition that she never brewed a love potion again – no matter what sob story the person requesting it told her. 

It warmed Bog’s heart, how delighted Marianne was with everything he showed her in the Dark Forest, admiring its dangers and its beauties alike. 

It made Marianne laugh, how careful Bog was when interacting with anything from the Fairy Kingdom, lest his claws tear it to shreds. 

Two years after confessing their love, three springs after the last attempt at a Royal Wedding, Dawn and Sunny got married. This wedding was not cancelled at the last minute. 

During a moonlit flight through the Dark Forest, Bog spotted a patch of dark blue flowers he thought would look perfect in Marianne’s hair. He lagged behind her for a moment to pick one. 

It was surprising, but definitely not unwelcome, when after he gave it to her, she kissed him. 

(I probably could have formatted this as a one-shot story, but I’ve never completed writing a multi-chapter fic before, so this is a real milestone for me!) 

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Chapter 1: Setting the Stage

Fair Maid

It came as a shock to the entire Fairy Kingdom when Crown Princess Dawn announced her engagement to a common elf named Sunny. 

They had been lifelong friends, and courted in secret over several years. Princess Dawn had also been openly courted by a knight, Roland, during that time, and the court had expected her to marry the handsome and charming fairy man. 

The fairies were scandalized. The elves were delighted. The brownies and sprites, having no direct stake in the marriage, thought for the most part that it was romantic. 

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Chapter 2: Getting the Potion

Fair Maid 

“Hmm, tricky, tricky,” said Plum. “But I think I have just to potion. Fairies aren’t allowed in the Forest, so I’ll need to turn you into a goblin. The magic lasts from one full moon to the next – go to the border tonight and drink the potion, and you’ll be changed. You won’t have your wings, I warn you right now. Still willing to risk it?” 

“Yes,” said Marianne. “This is … all I’ve ever wanted.” 

“Alright – open your wings and hold still.” 

She opened them, fanning them out, and Plum began to sing. 

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Chapter 3: Into the Woods

Fair Maid 

She slept for most of the day, before setting up to leave on her adventure. 

Marianne didn’t pack much, just a satchel with some food and a flask of water. Depending on the type of goblin she became, it was possible none of her clothes would even fit her, so there was no point bringing them. 

After some internal debate, she had decided to bring her sword, and hope she would stay roughly the right size to wield it. 

The last thing she did was leave a note on her desk. It was a simple message – “I’ve gone adventuring and will be back in a month. Love, Marianne” – which she folded and sealed, addressing it to her father. 

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Chapter 4: Meeting the King

 Fair Maid

Marianne gasped again when she saw the castle. Everything in the Forest filled her with awe, but this was … 

This was not how she pictured a castle. 

“The jaw-bridge looks like it could use some more structural support,” she commented to Griselda. 

“Eh, it’s fine. It’s lasted this long. Got to be able to close it on invaders on short notice, you know.” 

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