They are begging for mercy.

{ mobile } back by no demand, me switching the goddamn lights on in this movie

{ mobile } Messing around with screencaps on Snapseed and...brightened up this one to REALLY SEE THAT ANGST BOI.

WHAT'S BETTER THAN ONE LESARO PLUSHIE? TWO LESARO PLUSHIES!!

I've been toying around with doing some Norse Deity Plushies but I needed to test out the design first and doing a Lesaro plushie is easy right? I've done it before. This is going to be quick. I'll be done in three days tops.

Yeeeaaahhh that didn't work out.😂 There were some issues since I actually had to try sewing clothes this time and not just pinning fabrics on and hope for the best. But it was kinda fun designing my own patterns. Figuring out how to make the puff puffs was a nightmare thou, but I think I managed something... Something 🤣

I am never going to underestimate the sheer details of that bloody uniform again. I hate it as much as I love it. I had actually hoped to make it relatively cheap since I foolishly thought I would not need to do much sewing by hand. But no, there has to Be Details. I'd like to speak to the Manager pls. I've been traumatized! Anyways this plushie is listed in my Etsy shop if anyone is interested. No pressure at all!

(I currently have a 30% sale but if any one of you guys here want to buy it later just send me a message and I'll give you a 30% coupon. I also have the patterns saved if this one gets sold and while it won't be 100% identical since many details are handsewn it will be quite similar.)

Okay that felt weird, I swear I am not trying to pressure anyone here.😅😂 Cross my heart and hope to die or whatever the English say.

Also if I mysteriously do die, Lesaro Plushie the First is the one who did it.😜

OH MY GIDDY AUNT....

This is to DIE for! Darn, where’s that “shut up and take my money!” gif when you need it? 

18th Century Haircare: Just for Cursed Spaniards Edition

A little Christmas something for @intricatecaprice , (because thanks to her and her very well-researched beautifully written fanfic I am now trash for undead Spanish Naval officers, thank you very much )Just something I noticed whilst watching POTC 5 and couldn’t help noticing, as someone who also lurks in the 18th century costuming and re-enactment world.

Half the undead officers STILL have their wigs kept in almost pristine condition! What dedication to being stylish!

Now, hairstyling, even when alive, uncursed, and with full access to a range of hair products, is NOT a simple process in the 1700s. Those neat sausage curls you see at the side of Lieutenant Lesaro’s temples there? They’re called buckle rolls, and in an age where Babyliss hair tongs and Diamond Hold L’Oreal hair spray aren’t an option… well, what’s an average 18th century hombre to do?

Before plastic rollers, there were pipe-clay rollers - cheap, easy to make/get hold of and if it breaks, you throw it away. These were used mainly through the 17th , 18th and up to the early 19th century. You can see these particular pipe clay rollers are from 1700.

Behold! Ye olde hair styling implements of yore! An ancient pair of hair tongs! Before the advent of electricity, this required holding the tongs in an open fire until it was sufficiently hot to style. Get it right, and you get beautiful heat rolled curls like those on Lieutenant Lesaro. Get it wrong and make the tongs too hot… and … you guys remember Little Women, when Jo burns off Meg’s hair?

Catching pirates or not burning off your hair… which is harder?

But Monty, I hear you cry - what are these enterprising 18th century men using as a setting lotion? Well, my dears, the answer is pomatum.

I’m going to send you to the excellent Geri Walton for a full historical low-down on pomatum below, but it’s basically a hair cream /oil that strengthens and thickens the hair as well as helping to keep it in those extravagant 18th century styles.

That’s a pretty intense hair care regime for your everyday naval officer to keep looking his best even at the best of times, let alone when cursed, possibly missing pieces of your unquiet corpse, and aboard a skeleton wreck of a ship! And most of the principal ships officers wear their hair that way. I know there’s a lot of time in your hands when you have forever, but… honestly I do rather enjoy the thought of the cursed officers painstakingly putting in their curlers every night to make sure their hair is just right…

Sure, you may be missin the lower half of your torso/jaw - but your hair will always be immaculate.

(I notice, interestingly enough, that good old Armando doesn’t do curls pre-curse - he has a business-like plain queue, which suits his character down to a tee) Whether this is attributable to a tragic hair-curling accident, or the fact he’s just too impatient to bother, I’m going to leave up to everyone to make up their own minds.

He certainly has the best supernaturally assisted hair!

but in conclusion, the award for ‘best 18th century haircare under EXTREMELY difficult circumstances’ should really go to the crew of the Silent Mary…

OMG

I

LOVE THIS SO MUCH!

‘… honestly I do rather enjoy the thought of the cursed officers painstakingly putting in their curlers every night to make sure their hair is just right…’

I have to tell you, Officer Magda was reading over my shoulder, and now he’s pacing about muttering ‘Dios mio, my secrets are discovered!’ - lol!

But thank you so much for this wonderful, delightful, well written post! It’s made my Christmas 3000 x Brighter, thank you so much!

I particularly like that you mentioned Capitán Salazar’s choice not to wear a wig. It is a very marked choice, isn’t it?

I mean, yes - he doesn’t have the patience for the meticulous grooming required to keep up a wig (and you gave a marvellous detailed description for what’s required!) but I also think it’s a deliberate choice he’s made, to show he is not the same class as his officers.

I think Armando wears his hair the way he does, and wears a non-regulation uniform, to mark himself out as being in a class all on his own.

I think the reason for this is because his father, who was wealthy and a nobleman, who was an admiral in the Navy, was also the one who was responsible for destroying his family - and I think Salazar is motivated to eschew everything that would remind him of his father:

“You know my father was an admiral… He was arrested when I was a boy, and soon after, they came to our house and took my mother away, dragged her to a workhouse. The wife of a traitor must pay for his sins.” ―Armando Salazar

Ugh, the bitterness behind these words. The hardness. The sarcasm, as he repeats the same words that must have been said to him as a boy, the words the men must have said to him as he tried to stop them taking his mother away…

So to me, it’s no wonder he doesn’t want to associate with the wigs and the lace and the luxuries of the same noblemen who made the decision to take his mother away. No wonder he doesn’t want to wear the same things his father must have worn. No, Capitán Salazar wears his own clothes; and I just want to thank you again for this incredibly helpful post that has helped me also put into words more about my headcanons for him!

Wow, I’ve been totally blown away by the reaction to this daft little post - thank you all so much! But UGH! @intricatecaprice, that was a real gift of absolutely perfectly articulated headcanon for Armando there that absolutely fits my view of his character perfectly.

Number one, I can’t see the good Capitán fiddling around with ceramic hair rollers when there are pirates to catch and ships duties to attend to... that’s fine for officers who maybe have their careers to think of under other captains in the future, but not for him. Outward show, caring about what the nobility in Madrid think of him - I think that probably died a long time ago in Salazar’s soul - probably around the time his father was arrested and his mother carried off to the workhouse for his father’s debt ( Which WOW, is such a tragic backstory for such a proud man). And you are absolutely RIGHT. I love the idea of Armando gradually climbing through the ranks of the Spanish Navy, grimly focused on restoring the honour of the Salazar family, ignoring any petty distractions the foppish young gentleman officers waste their time on -because they’ve never lost anything. They’ve never known how easily everything can be taken away.

Number two, by the time he’s a decorated hero of the Spanish Navy specially tasked to clear pirates out of the Caribbean, I think the way he wears his hair is almost a sort of desolate... badge of honour. Yes, he lost everything once through his father’s crimes but through determination and sheer willpower he won it back again - and damn right he’s not the same as those perfumed cabrons in Madrid who get positions simply because their father happens to know a vice-admiral. He earned it back for himself.

which kind of makes it more heartbreaking when the whole Devils Triangle fiasco happens.

Wow, I went deep there from talking about hairstyles! But I adore your wonderful Salazar headcanons - and everyone else who’s been kind enough to like and reblog in the DMTNT fandom!

I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy being in the Devils Triangle with you guys...