rob fan

Ah yes, the 3 genders. Male, female, and “what the fuck are you, a cop?”

Would being called big dog fix me? Who knows?

Mixed reviews

"What's up, big dog; I'm ratsmacker" is going to live rent free in my head for a little while

Boys who up smacking they rat?

Didn't notice the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS change, and was instead desperately looking for the "had to do it to em" guy

Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉

I thought this was just his notes for personal reference, which I have done, but the fact that it's an agenda that he sends out ahead of time is hysterical, I'm going to start doing this with my friends

Will the secretary please read the minutes pertaining to last weeks discussion on lawnmower brands? specifically the consensus between Toro and Honda.

Petition to bring back the boop function next year for the ides of March where instead of a paw on the screen it’s a little knife that Caesar gets stabbed with

i listen to this podcast by two priests who talk about what life as a priest is like because I find their stories interesting, and one of the best moments was when the younger priest, baby priest we shall call him, absolutely lost it on the podcast because he had been preaching, then he saw someone do a full body sigh, shoulders up and down, then look at their watch, and then shoot baby priest a dirty look. Because priests are human too, this priest found it irritating on a human level, which, okay, I can see that--and then, he spent several minutes vehemently (and jokingly, but also, vehemently) proposing that Catholicism should update its rules so if anyone does that, the priest is allowed to come down from the altar and challenge the person to hand-to-hand combat. He argued that more people would come back to church if there was a chance of seeing the priest getting in a fistfight and in fact they might go to church multiple times a day. He stubbornly refused to allow exemptions for little old ladies. he was fully and passionately committed to the idea of Catholicism allowing priests to fistfight parishioners in the middle of mass, and I'm going to say it: i think he was right

the front seat of the car is a type of confessional

i genuinely think that physically it’s easier to have hard conversations when you’re both facing forward, not having to look at each other. the catholic church knew this also

“lol that’s against clown code! 😂” “omgggg that clown is gonna get so fired for violating clown code” do you think clowns are some monocultural society? do you think every clown has the same values and belongs to the same organization that reinforces singular performative norms?? that clown code is specific to one american clown organization that was established in the 80s. it’s not universal. the history of clowns is hundreds of years old and “thou shalt not smoke a cigar” or whatever has only ever been a creed a relatively tiny percentage have held to. i am gripping your shoulders now. do not assume you are privy to the internal workings of a subculture based on contextless snippets and Fun Facts. i am leaning in very close to you now. clowns deserve better. i am now pulling a long string of handkerchiefs out from behind your ear

Posts that are like smoke on the horizon to me

This is how I found out Shakira is on trial for tax fraud 😀

i'm fucking choking