Mfs will be like “Omg I hate radfems and terfs! They’re awful! Radfeminsim and Terf ideology is bad!!!” And then turn around and be like “All men are evil and bad and all women are pure and good! But it’s okay this time because I’m including trans people!!!!”
“Just another man making it about himself.” - someone on *MY*post that *I* made *SPECIFICALLY* about transphobia to trans men
Some trans men: *pass relatively easily*
Other trans men: *have a harder time passing*
Other trans men:*can’t bind due to health or financial reasons*
Other trans men: *binders don’t work because of chest size or body type*
Some other trans men: *can’t transition because of home, financial, or safety reasons*
Other trans guys: *struggle to pass despite transitioning and even being on t*
Other trans men: *can’t get on t for health, financial, or safety reasons*
Some other trans guys: *cannot pass no matter what they try*
Dumbasses on the internet: *looks at trans men group #1* “…ermmm….so actually all of you collectively pass very easily! Just put on an oversized flannel! Think about your privilege!”
Something I’ve noticed in my years as a trans guy is the way people talk about us. Like when people like us it’s “boypussy” and “I need to fuck a tboy” (boy, never man) but when people are mad at us it’s “cunt boy” “zipper tits” and “I know their 🐱smells horrible”. Like people can NEVER keep their minds out of our pants, loving us or hating us, and they will always deny our manhood, calling us boys instead of men in some weird and infantilizing fetishy way
Hey can we stop turning on the transmisogyny alarms any time a transmasc DARES talk about his experiences? Like jfc you act like trans men have it completely easy. I’m well aware transmisogyny exists and how it affects trans women (I would fucking know since I am one), BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP THROWING A FIT WHEN TRANS GUYS TALK ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES
Screenshots from a video by "imogen" on tiktok. The original video, which is still up if you want to view, was a response video to "date a trans man" as "being a trans man doesn't automatically mean a good experience or good person", which is of course a reasonable take. People are people. She explains that the trans man she dated had a "friend she was told not to worry about, until that friend commit suicide", and that was the bad experience.
Captions of the comments viewed in screenshots: "Heavy on the trans men are men [crying emoji]" "Trans men will do you wrong if not worse" "This is all too real many trans men/masc are super shitty and misogynistic" "The difference is they'll turn around and weaponize their "lack of power" lmao" "Trans men without mood stabilizers should be illegal" "my ex broke it off after feeling poly envy from their partner and gave me chlamydia... so yeah. trans men are men" "They will play with you the exact same way as cis men do LMFAO" "Trans inclusive misandry [liked by creator]" "I bet they [cat emoji] smell insane" "Trans men pls go on mood stabilizers once ur on T [crying emojis]" "Jesus... we really are the worst just across the board [crying emoji]" "As a woman, men are some of the biggest threats to me. You being trans does not exclude you from that fact" "ive heard some t4t HORROR stories and its always the dude fetishizing or cheating on the girl" "Every trans men I dated are either evil asf or lazy idiots" "No because why are half of them just annoying and why are half of them incels" "Trans men treat and talk about trans/cis women way worse especially within their "private" community spaces. let's address that before throwing yet another trans woman under the bus!" "literally why im just transmasc, i could not be a man [100 percent emoji] its also such a man thing to do to be like "not all" so.. i guess theyre doing it right?" "Its like trans men really are the men of the trans community [laughing emoji]" "Do you even see trans men as men? trans men are men, and its ALL men. Choose the bear because men are less predictable." "misandrist isn't a thing. it's ALL men, cis and trans"
The first half of these comments were under the original video, the second half are from the creator replying to a comment that states "wow ur so right bestie lets open up a space to make disgusting comments towards fellow trans people. real queen behavior"
In the reply video, the creator states that "men are terrible, trans or not" and that most of her followers are just trans women sharing their experiences. She ends it with "welcome to manhood. you are now part of the more problematic gender. you're never going to stop hearing 'men suck' 'i hate men'. But if i did hurt your feelings, I would like to formally issue an apology to" and she lists a few "stereotypical" trans man names.
Tell me I'm not crazy. please.
Like 90% of these comment are just riddled with repackaged misogyny. Transandrophobic women have massive amounts of internalized misogyny that they just project onto trans men and transmascs because projecting your internalized misogyny onto cis women strips away your girls girl title and projecting it onto trans women will get you labeled a terf. So instead your project it onto trans men and transmascs.
the multiple comments about mood stabilizers are really getting me…not just because of the blatant misogyny but also because the idea that trans men on t need to be on some sort of psych meds was something my former psychiatrist tried to actually enforce when i told her i was going to be starting t. i was in the process of getting off of an ssri at the time that was hurting me more than it helped, and she tried to make me stay on it and even go back to my original dose because she was convinced i wouldn’t be able to handle being on t without it. the only reason she let up was that i told her i would stop taking it regardless of if she helped me manage the process or not. all things considered, i got off easy because the possibility of forcing those meds on me was only ever talked about and not actually attempted.
like, these aren’t just ideas held by people who like complaining about men on tiktok. these are ideas held by professionals with power over trans men who can and will use that power to limit our bodily autonomy and control as much of our lives as they possibly can. perpetuating them is part of a long history of outcasting and disempowering oppressed people by marking them as ‘crazy’ and in need of psychiatric intervention.
but yeah, it’s a great idea to reinvent the concept of hysteria! it’s not like that’s ever been used as a tool of medical oppression, right? definitely just a funny thing to make jokes about at the expense of a marginalized group…
All of this is awful in itself, that’s self explanatory, but are we not gonna talk about “until that friend commits suicide” HUH??? Like yeah, if someone’s friend fucking dies, especially if it’s suicide, OF COURSE you’re not the center of attention. OF COURSE that has a big impact on your partner. This person clearly has some mental issues and doesn’t like not being the center of attention, and is also clearly looking for any excuse to pin that on other people and talk shit about them. Hope their ex is doing much fucking better than however they were doing with this person bc they’re clearly very toxic.
I dream for a day that trans fems and trans mascs can all talk about their experiences and discrimination together in peace and harmony instead of having someone throw a fit over “who has it worse”, or what words we use, or how we look, or claiming that we must hate the other, or how we experience things differently, or someone making nasty side comments about the other, or literally just being at each others throats all the time. Why can’t we have that?
I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.
Not misgendering, malgendering.
We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.
e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.
Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).
e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.
This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.
But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.
Most people recognise malgendering when it's;
Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.
But you need to look out for how;
Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.
Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.
Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.
Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'
All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.
Malgendering is transphobia.
Hey so I just wanna remind you that your experience as a trans person is not the only one to ever exist. I had someone in my DMs saying that they, as an older trans man, don’t care about the types of things I post and that they think the people who are saying things about trans men, like trans men not being affected by misogyny or having male privilege, are right because it’s true for them. And hey dude, that’s great! It’s great that you pass and are at a point in your life where misogyny doesn’t affect you! However that does not mean that every other trans man does! I am pre-t, I do not pass, I cannot bind, am in an unsupportive household, and I am generally viewed as woman. I am affected by misogyny and the like every single day, along with transphobia! So if someone makes sweeping generalizations of trans men or say dumb shit like “Trans men don’t experience (X)” etc. then yeah, I’m gonna point it out. And yeah, if someone’s being transphobic to trans men, I’m gonna call it out. Again, it’s great that you’re at a point where things like that don’t affect you anymore, that’s great for you, but take a second to think about how that’s not the case for everyone and why we want to speak up about things that actively affect us!
After my last few posts I ended up on the side of tumblr where people think calling people “theyfabs” and shit like that is okay and it’s just…wow. Like the lack of compassion that you have for other trans people is actually fucking insane. Like yeah some people were transphobic to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to be transphobic back???? And also you are not the only trans person to ever exist and the transphobia that you experience is also not the only transphobia to ever exist??? And other trans people also do not have power over you???
Hey, before you make that post about transmascs, stop! Think about: “If I said this, but it was about trans women, would this be transmisogynistic?” If the answer is yes, then think about how what you’re saying is probably transphobic to transmascs. If you’re calling transmascs dramatic, think about how it would sound if you were calling transfems dramatic. If you’re calling transmascs “zipper tits” “cuntboys” or “theyfabs”, etc., think about how it would sound if you were calling transfems something similar. If you’re telling transmascs they’re not opressed and call them whiny, think about how that would sound if you said it about transfems. If you were complaining about transmascs “being the center of attention” think about how that would sound if you said it about transfems. If you told a transmasc to kill themselves over an opinion, think about how it would sound if you told a transfem to kill themselves over an opinion. You’re still transphobic if your transphobia is directed at one demographic of trans people and not the others. If you were saying something that would be transphobic if it was directed at someone else, then it’s probably transphobic!
the fact that transmascs get relentlessly attacked and harassed every single time we try to make something/spaces for ourselves (the mlm flag, transandrophobia as a term, fucking forcemasc) is in and of itself telling of how people view us.
Consistently every single time I try to talk about literally anything i experience as a trans man I get attacked both on here and on TikTok from people who have wild misconceptions about trans men, and it’s really shows every single time how people really feels about us
It’s so odd how a lot of people in the community feel so entitled to talk over transmascs on our own experiences. If someone who’s not a transmasc makes an incorrect statement about transmascs and I try to correct it, it feels like a 50/50 on whether they’re going to apologize and correct themselves or scream at me. Almost every single time I’ve made a post talking about my experiences, someone always feels entitled to tell me, a trans man, that my experience as a trans man is wrong. Like this shit is genuinely crazy. Why do I have to wonder if what I say about my experience as a trans man is gonna be “too controversial” for some people because it challenges their opinion on who is and “isn’t” oppressed or if they take me speaking up about the things that happen to me as “hating and speaking over trans women”. It’s so stupid.
I fucking hate how people are complaining about transmascs/men being “centered” in the trans community lately as if transmascs/men have not historically dealt with invisibility and erasure. Like yeah, you’re seeing more transmascs because we’re finally able to speak up about the shit that happens to us. Like think about all the “transmasc centered” things (which is probably mostly on the internet and not in real life trans spaces) you see and how much of it is just…made by transmascs and for transmascs. Of course transmascs are gonna speak up about what we experience now that we have more of a voice dumbass
In the great big year of 2024 can we all finally acknowledge how fucking stupid those “transmasc vs transfem oppression” posts are? You cannot look me dead in the eyes and tell me that you think all transmascs just put on a hoodie and pass, that we don’t get beaten, and that we have great support and literally never go through anything. You also can’t look me dead in the eyes and tell me you believe that every single trans woman ever doesn’t pass, looks like man, is abused and are all defenseless little girls that need to be protected, because that’s just blatantly transmisogynistic. You’re literally helping no one with these posts and are cherry picking each experience. You’re contributing to trans masculine erasure, stereotypes of trans women, and also the “oppression Olympics” that you all claim to hate because you’re LITERALLY MAKING IT A COMPETITION.
Just a quick, non aggressive psa about something that really bothers me in the trans community. If you’re making a post about trans women’s struggles, and you are not a trans man, please don’t make a comment about how “This doesn’t happen to trans men”. I feel like every single time someone makes that comment I have at least one experience with that topic. Comments like those are not necessary, and 90% of the time you’re probably wrong and trans men do, in fact, have that happen to us. If you want to make a comment on how the issue differs from trans women to trans men, then please actually talk to some trans men, especially ones outside of your circle! Comments like these perpetuate trans masculine invisibility and are often the reason we’re not listened to, told it doesn’t happen to us, or have people completely forget that we exist all together. Please go research when making claims about an experience that you do not have!
“I told people I was trans, but they thought I’m a trans man and now they’re treating me like a woman and doing nice things for me haha isn’t that nice 😊😊😊”
That. Is. Transphobia. To. Trans. Men. Stop. Celebrating. It. Because. It. Benefits. You.
