I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.
Not misgendering, malgendering.
We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.
e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.
Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).
e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.
This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man."
This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."*
*obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.
But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.
Most people recognise malgendering when it's;
Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.
But you need to look out for how;
Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.
Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.
Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.
Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'
All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.
Malgendering is transphobia.
