white pikmin are my favorite kind of pikmin and it’s all cuz of that one gif

violence 4 life

when i was really little and had just learned how to write my full name . i noticed my twin brother had really messy handwriting. while mine was like … as nice as it could be for a little kid. so i wrote my name in his handwriting on a wall and i waited to see who our parents would get mad at . and they blamed him. and that was when my life of crime began

all joking aside it’s really funny that like little kids do things like that sometimes . my mom would look at her phone everytime she was at a red light so i got into the habit of saying “green” once the light changed so she would know . one day i was like “i wonder if i say green while it’s red if she’ll go” and so i did . and she did . and i got yelled at real bad

though looking back on it what the hell was she doing relying on like a five year old . who was a chronic shoplifter and liar . for that . i’m surprised we didn’t get into more accidents

My mom is Deaf so when I was like 5 I plugged all the drains in the bathroom with towels & toilet paper and turned the bathtub and sink on full blast before we went out to go shopping cause I knew she wouldn’t hear it and I flooded the entire house for no reason

ok that is some nasty shit i can’t even believe the amount of damage that would’ve done 😭

Some more jester sketches cause why not?

When the knight wanted a token from his favorite jingly menace before the tournament for luck

Also adding my OG Jingly Menace x Knight art cause I guess this is where I’m keeping them

The knight likes to pretend that he finds the jester annoying and just tries to ignore him but he’s definitely secretly charmed by his antics

Not that you can tell beneath his helmet

For the people wanting to know more about them here are a few character facts:

-When they first met the knight did not like the jester. He found him infuriatingly ridiculous and silly. He is still mostly convinced that the jesters flirting isn't serious and that he's just doing it to make fun of him. Alas the jesters persistence is wearing him down. (How can you not like a silly little guy?)

-If you've seen my OG colored jester art then you may already know this but the Jester has heterochromia

-The jester has never actually seen the knights face. At this point the knight keeps refusing to take off his helmet just to annoy him and the jester keeps trying different methods to get it off of him which culminated into a game of strip poker where the knight removed every other piece of armor but left the helmet on

Couldn’t resist a quick sketch of the strip poker scene XD

The jester is losing his mind. He is both entirely frustrated for being thwarted but also into it

This is entirely @chronicoddity ‘s fault for sending me the slutty costume picture and then I couldn’t resist 😂

Not portrayed but a second later the knight panics and rips down a tapestry from the wall to cover the jester up with. If it was anyone else the king might have been upset given that it was a very old one but he’s enjoying the drama.

This addition is NOT for the jesters eyes so if you are him then leave now

Some knight sketch designs. I’ve had a pretty clear idea of what he looks like for a while now and finally wanted to do some for him. Also a few additional facts:

-The knight blames the jester for at least half of his gray hairs because of all the stress he puts him under. Fighting in battles is nothing compared to the stress of a jingly menace

-The jester likes to try and pick fights with guys bigger than him but then will do the “You can’t hit me! I’m just a silly little guy!” He is always delighted when the knight steps up to defend him and sometimes does it purposefully for just that

-The knight definitely has some type of Pavlovian response to bells. If he hears jingling he immediately perks up and starts looking for his favorite menace

-Also once the jester finally does get to see his face he definitely targets that scar on his mouth for kisses

The Jingly Menace is being a menace

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THAT IT'S BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STARTED THIS FOOLKNIGHT POST

Son of a Bitch Tee by LowLevel

Write a horror story in the format of an Internet search history

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hrmm. well hold on now ive been filled with a sudden joy and whimsy for the world

i think we're all going to be okay maybe

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“Feh..It’s me, Inuyasha, the half-grinch. I can defeat every merry-maker who crosses my path. You think you can stop me from ruining christmas?”

Mackleclaus pointed to the door. “go away, Inuyasha” he mackled merrily

stabbing as a metaphor for penetration is great but when are we going to talk about pressing down on where someone is wounded to disarm them or just to be cruel while fighting. does nobody else care about the perverse intimacy of knowing exactly where to touch to overpower someone. the grotesque vulnerability of it. especially if you're the one who wounded them in the first place.

I’ve gone insane and started writing a cliche fantasy novel

why did nobody tell me that writing is the adult equivalent of playing with dolls

elf yuri except one of them is high fantasy and the other is one of santa's

9'6" forest guardian and her 4'5" toymaker gf

sorry for hijacking your post again op but after posting the initial elves i had ideas for more doodles i wanted to do so. elf yuri (but i elaborate)

oh you're in a horror film/book and your phone died/has no bars? how boring. I think phones in horror SHOULD work. they should ding only to have the protagonist check and find nothing. they should get calls from somebody you don't know but is still somehow in your contacts. google maps should lead you to one place, no matter what address you type in.

phones are such a big part of our daily lives, removing them from horror removes the horror from our experience. what if the horror felt like it could happen to you, right here, right now? what if it felt like it was already happening?

call 911 and something that is definitely not a person picks up.

call 911 and get an operator only for the call to become increasingly weirder and more sinister until you realize that whatever picked up is not there to help.

text messages from someone who's dead. voicemails that sound like dead air until you turn the volume all the way up.

emergency alerts for weather that doesn't happen on earth.

Your phone rings - but it's your phone number on the screen. You answer it, but all you hear is heavy, laboured breathing. You go to say something, only to hear your voice on the other end tell you "It's too late," and hang up.

You get a message from a number you don't recognise. It's a picture of you from behind. You turn and see there's nobody there. When you look back at your phone, you see the sender has sent another text - "Sorry, wrong number."

Your phone rings - it's a private number. You answer it, only to feel the sensation of something licking your ear.

You wake up to find a voicemail. You play it back, only to hear an autotuned version of your own voice reciting a Bible passage - 1 Peter 2: 18-20.

You get an emergency alert. It says "I'm sorry."

You keep trying to call 911 but you ALSO keep getting robocalls for duct cleaning, surveys, random scam calls and texts.

one time I was in an unfamiliar town, it was 11pm, and I was trying to find some food so I looked up the nearest 24-hour supermarket and started navigation, except instead of a supermarket my phone took me to the gates of a cemetery and then said "you have reached your destination." you could write that incident into a horror movie with zero changes and it scare the audience's faces off

would you love me if my bestial form had no remnant of human expression? if my face was unreadable, stoic, if the signifiers of personhood were gone? if i crawled on all fours, if my spine was hunched, if i didn't just bark and purr but chuff, snort, snarl? is monstrosity good when it isn't palatable? how much inhumanity can you tolerate?

Came back wrong? How about came back right, except that the world you came back to is wrong. Came back just like waking up from a long nap only to find that the people who love you broke themselves into shards and bloody bargains to get you back.

There are new stains that nobody will explain, hidden beneath the rug in the upstairs hallway. Your mother's left eye is clouded and strange. The cat no longer goes near your brother. There's a sharp-edged shadow now, under your lover's smile.

Everybody says you must be remembering wrong, but your sense of smell is just as good as ever. The closet that used to smell like cedar and cinnamon smells like sulfur, now, and nobody will tell you why.

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here are some extra ones that made me break out in tears enjoy

thank you will grahams cock I really needed this today

no problem