Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now.

If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…

So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.

Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni . 

Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.

It’s funny though — on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.

I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❤️

Addendum: he has really grasped onto the “everything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.

“And my bed?” Yes, and your bed. “And that wall?” Yep. “And the armchair?” Yes, the armchair too. … … “And… the book case?” Y—

“And my home?” Yep, the whole apartment block. “And your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.” Haha, it is. … … “But is it made of atoms?” Yep. “And… [best friend]’s home?” Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.

“Is [yet another friend]’s home?”

Update from the other night:

“Is my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?” —Yes! Yes it is.

I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.

Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks “is [baby sister] made up of atoms?”

yep!

*runs over to her on the floor* *puts face up real close to hers* “HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount

“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

you dont have to lie to kids about science just use vocabulary they can understand and define jargon as you introduce it

Tell me a soft memory

we would find out later i had burned off my entire cornea - about 65% of my eye. my doctor told me it is the organ with the highest concentration of nerve endings - i was in an amount of pain that can't be spoken.

and i was blind. for the first time in my life, i was totally blind. i kept thinking about reading, about writing. weirdly, just once, about driving. we had no idea if i would ever see again. just like that - my entire life was different.

it is a strange place to reference for a soft memory, to begin here.

my siblings were taking excellent care of me, but there was a moment in the hospital where, just through bad luck and timing - both of them had to step away for a moment. i was crying at that point; not emotionally. for 3 days after this i would still be crying, my tears, like a mermaid's, a frothy pink with blood.

my brother worried about leaving me. he had another, just-as-bad emergency.

"i got her," someone said. "don't worry."

a soft hand held mine, and then she started talking.

her name was jess. she has a wife named clyde. they live a few blocks up the street. clyde fell down, but the x-rays seem to be coming back better than expected. jess says she's got long dark hair and "more wrinkles than an elephant". jess describes every chair in the room and every person. she talks about her two kids and her cats and her favorite memories from college.

a doctor came. i had to switch to a different waiting room. i tried to stand up to follow the voice - i found jess's hand, following me. she didn't let go. she kept talking the whole way: lamp to your left, just a few more steps, okay to your right is the ugliest painting, good, now a little more walking straight, you got it baby

in the new silence of the next room she sat me down and called my brother for me, telling him where we'd gone to. and she stayed there for a bit, just chatting, her voice echoing in the eerie quiet. gently describing the room to me. and then someone was rude. from the sound of the voice, a kid, i think.

"why is she crying?"

"she just lost her vision," jess said. "she can't see."

"oh." said the kid. "that's scary."

the kid tells me he is here because he has peas stuck up his nose. that makes me laugh, his mom (?) groans. she tells me about the kid (he's 6, he likes paw patrol and eating cheese), about herself, about moving from cali.

jess says she's sorry, but she has to leave now, she's gotta go check on her wife.

"don't worry," says the mom. "i got her." and then i felt her hand press into mine.

for hours like that: i am taken care of by strangers. each person just talking with whatever comes to their head - not for any reward or celebrity or real reason, i guess. just because i am scared and alone and in the hospital and blinded and need to be distracted. not everyone even got told the story - they would just pick up in the silence with - oh by the way the television is playing HGTV - do you like that kind of a thing? yeah, me too, but could never quite get into those open-floor plans, i'll tell you -

by the time my brother is able to come back, the room is buzzing. we talk to each other like old friends, laughing, cracking jokes about if you don't like hospital food wait until you get on an airplane and can't believe i'm up past two in the morning what a party animal i'm becoming. i am holding the hands of someone named drew, who likes my crow tattoo and making crochet snails.

there are many dark moments full of pain in this world. this - in the low of absolute-dark, absolute-pain: people find a way to paint in it anyway. the color splash of their voices: this triumphant, radiating kindness of - let's be here together, let me help you, let's keep going.

i never saw their faces. i can't remember many of their names. but i think about them often, and the way we all took a deep breath - and did something gentle amongst the pain.

Most of us could probably stand to benefit from reading this. I did. It’s really lovely.

Sometimes I’m amused at how different my kiddo is from me. Today’s example is that she really likes horses, specifically the scene from Frozen 2 where the water horse is trying to murder Elsa.

Kiddo is 4 years old, and as such there is no punctuation that can adequately convey their dynamic vocal range, and so emojis will have to do.

For those unfamiliar with Frozen 2, Elsa (with her ice powers) attempts to cross the sea, in which lurks Nokk, the ice horse. It’s a very thematic and scary scene, but the horse never actually gets named in the movie.

“Elsa’s horse name Posy ☺️☺️☺️❤️❤️❤️” my child explains.

“Posy 😀” my darling murmurs happily as the water horse appears, charging from the inky depths.

“POSEY!😃😃🥳🤩🤩!” Delighted squeals reverberate through my house, as a volume usually only reserved for the Wiggles, while the water horse actively tries to murder what is apparently the second favourite character in this movie.

“Aw, Posy… 😕😞😔” and a resigned sigh as the water horse is frozen and Elsa escapes.

“I told you Posy was good.” 😌

Awww thanks for using my Posy gifs!

Here cometh the Posy cavalry! Please show your kiddo!

I have shown the cavalry to my darling child this evening, before bathtime.

“Ooh-AH!🤨😃”

“So many Posey!!!😁😁”

“And Elsas. 🙂”

“And so many…🤔…. Tails!😁”

Darling child then throws the self bodily into the couch cushions in an apparent display of joy and enthusiasm before returning to the conversation with a serious demeanour.

“How many dollarbucks? 🧐”

I have no idea what is meant by that, so they clarify.

“How much moneys. To go there.🤔🙂

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world's largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

pov: you’ve been transported to the 17th century

#in the article it says that the sailboat sailors were concerned because they could not be towed quickly because of the kind of boat#so they asked Götheborg what type of ship they were and warned that they would not be able to go above a certain speed#and götheborg went ' we are also a sailboat. 50 meters length. no worries :) '#and the poor sailboat sailors were just like ' That's not possible. they have to be messing with us' and then the ship Rolled Up (via bunjywunjy)

I'm crying. Here's a photo of a sailor from the Götheborg watching over the little sailboat in tow:

From the story:

"Our destinies were linked for very long hours" is just knocking me out.

Thinking about when I first moved to Ohio and me and my girlfriend went out for our anniversary date. We thought it would be nice to overdress a little and it was winter, so we were wearing wool hats. We looked very 1940s and it was cute.

A lady came up to me and said: "excuse me, are you part of that society of ladies that dress fancy?"

Me: "No ma'am, we are on a date."

Lady: "the both of you? Like that?"

Me: "...it's our anniversary?"

Lady was prepared for two people in their 30s to be part of a Red Hat Society offshoot, but not lesbians.

One night I was hungry and the guy I was dating at the time ordered a pizza for me. Presumably he said "it's for my boyfriend" or something like that. I went to pick it up and the lady said "Oh this was ordered by your girlfriend Mike"

Obsessed with this. I think my gender today will be Girlfriend Mike.

Hey has tumblr heard about the Chase “Infinite Money glitch” debacle from tiktok yet because

I cannot believe

I cannot believe that people actually tried this

And even less can I believe that they’re going full Karen to Chase customer service workers. Like you did check fraud. You did a crime. You don’t get to complain about the consequences.

Wait like some people don’t know

So there was a glitch in Chase’s check deposit system. Usually when you cash a check, only a fraction of the full amount is available to you immediately until the check clears. The glitch made it so you could cash a checks full amount right away no matter how big.

So. People were writing themselves massive checks and immediately withdrawing cash they technically didn’t have and then closing their bank account. They were calling it an “infinite money glitch” like it’s the Sims or something.

But it’s not like a cheat code that was suddenly discovered. It’s just check fraud. It’s just straight up a felony. And a good chunk of them filmed themselves doing it.

So people are waking up finding they’re in the negative however many thousands of dollars they pulled.

What BAFFLES me is that people are calling Chase demanding their accounts be reopened, demanding their money back. Work from home Chase agents have shared the calls they’ve been getting from people angry they’re in the red. Like it’s not your money anymore, love, you STOLE it and they took whatever you had originally to try to pay the balance back!! That’s not yours anymore!

People are being SNIPPY on tiktok when people tell them that they did a CRIME. This one lady was like “you don’t know the law, my lawyer knows the law” and it’s like honey! Your lawyer is going to do his fuckin best but you did a crime and then you FILMED YOURSELF. You’re going to jail! Now is the time to start practicing what my therapist calls radical acceptance!

So that’s the tea on the money glitch. Most banks are giving them 30 days to pay the amount back but some people I’ve heard are already being arrested.

HELP i’m sitting at an outdoor cafe and this lady was at another table next to me and the barista called my name and I stood up to walk ten feet to grab my drink and the lady JUMPED up and LUNGED over to my table and took my seat????? i’m not even gonna say anything bc I’m so confused. they’re virtually the same tables with the same views and amount of sunlight etc.

decided the funniest possible response was to just sit back down at the table with her. She’s not looking at me.

she just got up to get her coffee and put her purse and jacket and hat down to save her seat. this is so funny what kind of world does she live in?? anyway we’re just sharing a table now.

ppl keep suggesting she’s neurodivergent and ‘needed’ that table for whatever reason. I’m Autistic & ADHD so I can sympathize with that but she could have asked LMAO. I CANNOT stress enough that as soon as my butt was out of my seat she quite literally lunged for it like we were the finalists in a game of Musical Chairs & the prize was one million dollars

THANK YOU!!! This always rubs me the wrong way!! When someone is rude and ppl immediately assume they’re Autistic, the implication is that u think Autistic people are all rude!

In the never-ending quest to alleviate my migraines, I bought a special angled pillow that lets you sleep on your side while your arm just kind of hangs through a whole in the middle. I did this because I’m a left-sided sleeper, always have been.

Until my neck subluxated and now I can’t sleep on that side without compressing some vital nerves and blood arteries. I also can’t sleep on my back right now because the pressure compresses my occipital nerve. Basically sleeping has been a nightmare recently, but that’s not the point of this post.

The point was I brought this up in physical therapy to talk about how great this pillow is because I can now sleep on my right side without the stupid thing going numb or waking me up because it hurts. And my PT was like wow, great! How did you sleep on your left side for so long without it being an issue?

And I said, oh that’s easy. I just tuck that shoulder out of the way.

And she said, ...what?

And I said, yeah, I just tuck it out the way. Not like my right shoulder. That one doesn’t move as well. It just hurts, I think there’s something wrong with it.

And my physical therapist asked me to demonstrate what I mean when I say I ‘tuck my shoulder out of the way,’ and haha, you’re never going to believe this, turns out I’ve just been casually pulling my left shoulder out of the socket for, oh, let’s see, 30 years? And then napping on it like hmmnm yess comfy.

Anyway. I looked up from my demonstration and my physical therapist was making this face:

just witnessed a girl spot her friend in the grocery store and instead of calling her over she started making turkey noises. and her friend, who apparently recognized her call, responded with higher pitched turkey noises before she even saw her and they used turkey echolocation to find each other. friendship between girls is a beautiful thing <3

Omg this is beautiful

At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.

The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"

I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.

Our flight is delayed.

He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.

I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".

Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.

Uh oh.

Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.

The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.

He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.

HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.

I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.

"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."

"OR ELSE WHAT?"

"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"

"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"

"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"

"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"

*hangs up phone*

*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*

The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.

"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"

Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.

Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.

1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.

2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.

3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.

"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say

"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."

"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.

4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.

"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.

"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"

"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"

"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."

"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."

"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"

"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.

"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.

Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.

1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.

2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.

3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.

4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.

5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.

Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:

:)

Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!

Another inimitable epic from @gallusrostromegalus.

A woman bought a sculpture at Goodwill for $34.99. It actually was a missing ancient Roman bust.

An ancient Roman bust from around the first century that had been missing for decades has finally made its way into the San Antonio Museum of Art, and all it took was for one artist to buy it from a Texas Goodwill for under $40.

In 2018, art collector Laura Young was shopping at a Goodwill store in Austin, Texas when she stumbled upon a sculpture on the floor beneath a table, according to the San Antonio Museum of Art. Someone that looks for undervalued or rare art pieces, Young told The Art Newspaper she bought the piece for $34.99, and a picture of it after she bought it shows it buckled up in her car with a price tag on its cheek.

After buying the bust, Young noticed it looked very old and worn, so she wanted to find out when and where it came from. Read more.

why would this article leave out the best part she named the bust after dennis reynolds from iasip

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

First: thank you to everybody who has shared your own stories in the comments and reblogs. I hope that reading these gives those currently struggling hope. And for everybody who has commented about how they weren't lucky enough to have their parents accept them, I hope that you have found a safe community that loves you as you are and that you are in a better place now than you were then.

Now: Mildly amusing follow-up with a surprise twist! Details, including kiddo's gender, are still redacted and some things have been altered to be more generic in order to protect privacy.

A couple of months ago, I was speaking with my coworker about his kid, and he spoke about how he thought maybe his kid would never come out to him and how sad that made him that kiddo didn't feel safe with him. (Imagine the saddest puppy-dog eyes ever on André the Giant to understand the sheer force of understanding-but-still-devastated misery coming off of this poor guy.)

To which I asked: But you just told me you kid is dressing in their preferred presentation in front of you?

Him: Well, yeah, but that's just at home? And they've been occasionally dressing like this for ages.

Me: And they weren't surprised or upset when you started using their preferred name.

Him: No, but I saw somebody else use it first on something kiddo shared with me and I wanted kiddo to know that it was okay that I knew the name and that I wasn't going to hate them for it.

Me: And when kiddo went with you, their dad, to an event, they dressed in their preferred gender and used their preferred name and pronouns. And corrected people who got them wrong. And you knew this because they did it in front of you.

Him: Well yeah, but it could have been a coincidence. Maybe they forgot I was there.

Me: And they showed you the letter about their gender and presentation that they wrote to somebody who made a comment about their appearance. That you defended kiddo for.

Him: I know!!!! (Sadness clearly intensifying as the point continues to fly over his head.) Kiddo is coming out to other people but not me! Kiddo hates me and is never going to trust me!

My dude, my friend, my beloved coworker who is apparently blessed in understanding everything except teenagers, your kid is so far out of the closet with you that they are one band short of a Mardi-Gras parade encircling you to announce their presentation. They haven't come out to you verbally because they don't need to. They trust you and have let you be a part of the process from almost the very beginning and you, my friend, were so convinced they were just bad at hiding things that you completely blinded yourself to this truth.

I am abt to lose my fuckin mind because I happened upon this gender reveal party. and like it’s soo over the top expensive

And like I’m like. Oh great, a horse themed gender reveal party.

complete with like … just truly excessive foods and of course, themed cocktails

and this sign which like… the fragility of like *not* italicizing the word ‘colt’. Like imagine being this weird abt gender

with like, a bucket that eventually ‘revealed’ the gender

But like… the picture that really just completely undid me, for this party which surely was more money than many weddings -

it’s not a horse themed gender reveal party. It’s a gender reveal party FOR A HORSE. I can’t even like imagine the life that would lead to hosting a gender reveal party for a not-yet-born horse. Think abt getting an invitation to this. the cis are at it again.

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE READ ALL DAY

well this was a wild ride from start to finish

I knew before I googled that this was gonna be California and I was Not disappointed. The horse is TA Jullyens Lillyanna, she is an exceptionally fancy purebred Arabian.

https://www.varianarabians.com/recent-sales/ta-jullyens-lillyanna.html

Her price tag was $Car. $20k if I had to guess.

And the real kicker?

The revealed gender was wrong. #youhadonejob

you cannot make this shit up; horse people are, truly, Just Like That.

I AM SCREAMING

thinkin about last summer when I flew to meet my friend in the city & was in my low-stim, no-fuss summer airport biker shorts+t-shirt combo, and when I got there I realized she upgraded me to first class to surprise me! noticed I was dressed down compared to the other passengers around me, but I thought, who cares? It's a flight. But when I landed, I was greeted by another surprise, a personal driver. like in a fancy car and a suit. and I was like ha, well now I'm a lil' self conscious about my outfit but who cares?

so the driver takes me to our hotel, and as soon as we pull up I know I'm cooked. A bellhop comes to greet me (with a little hat to match his uniform and everything) and he takes my luggage and leads me into the hotel, where an Actual, live string quaret is playing in the dining room as we pass by on our way to the lobby. there are sculptures on display, on loan from an art museum. And I get to the room and I look at my friend, who is wearing a beautiful dress and beaming. And I say, "perhaps....a short text about the dresscode....."

Because this is the very outfit I was wearing while the bellhop escorted me past the live cello music.

She said, "I wanted it to be a surprise."

And to be fair, I think that the fact I was wearing socks with crocs in a hotel with a live string quartet demonstrated that I was, indeed, surprised.

Anyway now whenever my friends plan outings & we want to know if it's fancy, we say, "is this a Fishin' is Life situation?"

later, I decided to take a nap while my friends went out for drinks. I forgot to put the "do not disturb" tab on the door, and the hotel staff thought we were all out. I woke up in the dark to a man in my room, and, half asleep, I yelled, "WHO ARE YOU!" He was just as startled by me as I was by him, so all he did was squeak, "strawberries?!" Which of course meant nothing to me and I said, "No!" and he said, "Sorry" and scrambled out of the room. About as soon as he closed the door behind him, my brain finished coming back online. I turned on the lights, and saw he had delivered champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.

So I put on my crocs and I went to the desk and asked for him so I could personally apologize for yelling at him in confused terror. Wearing my Fishin is Life Shirt, obviously. He thought it was very funny, which was good, or else I couldn't have ever gone back to that entire city if I'm honest.

an interesting theory but i was there for her wedding and also we’re related