I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either

Why did the homeless guy drink only coffee? He had no proper tea..

That listening face.

me: not today, satan 

satan: you’ve been canceling our plans for weeks now. if it’s something i said, please just tell me

you promised these kids krabby the clown

but all i saw was

cheapy the cheapskate

A nurse pulls a rectal thermometer out of her pocket and says “dammit, some asshole has got my pen.”

One day, lesbellesmarguerites  (via wnq-writers)

Wtf is sephora

It sounds scary

isn’t that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy

no your thinking of sephiroth, a sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels

No you’re thinking of a Seraph

A sephora is a second year college or high school student

No, you’re thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself.

no, you’re thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze.

No, you’re thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.

You’re thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices.

You’re thinking of Safari.  Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar.

You’re thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time’s intrusions into our realm.

No, you’re thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.

No, you’re thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt. 

No, you’re thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin’.

No, you’re thinking of Sappho.

Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.

No, you’re thinking of Zeppo.

Sephora is the Heimdall’s sister.

No no no guys, you’re thinking of Sif. Sephora is a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora.

No, you’re thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness.

No, you’re thinking of euphoria. Sephora’s a fucking makeup store you dipshits.

Only blogging because this is my favorite tumblr post and i can never find it when I need to.

ugh.

I CAN’T WITH THESE DAMN COWBOY HAT MEMES 

This Cat Has The Most Beautiful Eyes Ever.

Oh my fucking god the beauty

This cat has expressed every single emotion I have ever felt.

i can’t believe zach braff made the best tweet of 2017

me: *wakes up*

self hatred: *fuckin decks me*

Beast. (Source: http://ift.tt/2lccmZ4)

IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, JUST REMEMBER THAT I HANDLE ME AT MY WORST AND THAT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU

Oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful I hadn’t even thought of it like this.

There will never be another President and First Lady like the Obamas.