Mirrorthoughts

My computer is baaaaaaaack 💕💕💕💕💕💕 (and it didn't even take the week!)

My computer broke down tonight 😭😭😭

It just shut off and started again and when it started again my two monitors suddenly didn't get a signal and there are, like, 4 red LEDs that light up for a couple of seconds on the motherboard and i'm just done with all the shit happening this year 😭

I have two days off and wanted to relax after all the medical stuff that happened since the beginning of the year and instead now I need to figure out how to get the computer to a repair service and which service I should choose and I can't even chill out and relax with a game anymore 😭 (or at least not with mouse and keyboard)

2024 is just not my year...

I'm definitely too often in the hospital these days...

It's. Like. The 3rd time in two weeks and the second time in the ER, though for different reasons. First the eye, now bc i'm short of breath and have pressure on my chest and slight pain.

As if my year wasn't stressful enough already...

My house management is ghosting us, the year started with covid and my mother problem is still there, too.

I just want my peace.....

I'm kind of done with my Steter Secret Santa!!!

It's edited in a way that I'd be okay with to post if I can't find the energy to go read through it again today/tomorrow before posting 😂

So yeah, a tentative #done with an end count of 32.968 words!!

Im just SO glad I finished in time!!!

Well, that was not on my bucket list this year, but apparently it really is possible for me to write 50k words in less than two weeks 😂

So... I actually didn't want to do NaNo this year but since I was writing that much anyway I kept tracking and... I'm done 😂

Though not really 😂 I'm in the middle of my second draft for my Secret Santa, so the words will keep piling up (second draft is rewriting rn) and the fic is getting longer despite what I was expecting. But they are better words than draft 1 so I'm not complaining! Anyway.

NaNo's done for this year 😂😂😂😂

Final count for that Steter Secret Santa first draft:

27197 words 😂, about 26500 of those written since monday 😂😂😂

I still can't believe it.

We'll see how many of those words survive the second draft 😂

I kinda... I kinda just wrote half a NaNo this week <_<....

So for those who might have wondered that I didn't post as much or at different times as I usually do...

I kinda fell into 4thewords, that writing website where you kill monsters, and... well...

It kinda feels like a deal with the devil, but I guess I'll take it if that's the result???

So... that's me today. It's 10pm right now and I've actually written 25k words. Since Monday.

Yes, you heard that right, 25k words in 5 days (and almost exactly 11 hours of writing time spread out over these five days).

Here's the proof!

I'm gonna lay down now <_<... my brain feels like mush. Also I think what I wrote over the last half hour also was pretty much only mush, too.

But well 😂 I'm still not done yet entirely with my Secret Santa Fic (though most of these words belong to that fic actually!) and it's a really bloated first draft - at least for how I usually write - so I'll have to edit a lot, but... well.

It's definitely an achievement 😂

Holy cow.

Now you know what I was doing the whole week 😂 So if I missed something - my bad! 😂😅

I'm trying to walk more so I go out Saturdays and Sundays for a walk.

Today had beautiful autumn feeling 💕

Me: *trying to write bc I actually do want to post a chapter today even though I gave myself a way out last week*

Also me: *getting distracted by... everything*

<_<...

How bad do my current sleeping patterns have to be when I'm not even very tired/not cranky after sleeping only about 4 hours? <.<...

*touches their new 2TB sdd* Hiiiii *gnarf* °-°... precioussssssss

...y'know, tracking how long my "slight headaches" actually stay kinda hammers home that they actually might really be migraines <.<...

I mean this morning I decided to stay home/not work bc I woke up with a strong headache (and maybe even the same that I had yesterday, but I didn't keep track yesterday and my memorie's bad so I can't even say if I already had a headache when going to sleep, bc I'm apparently used to just ignore having 'a bit of a headache' (a 1 to maybe 2 on a pain scale) bc it doesn't hurt enough to keep me from living my life <.<). It did get better after an hour or two, but since then there still is pain behind my temples and forehead and I have yet to get back to a state of 'no pain at all'.

So. Migraines. 9hrs and counting (it already hurt when I woke up somewhere around 4am).

Trying to write more again but even new stuff seems to be hard right now <.<...

And don't mind me trying to dance on every party right now, because somehow all the stuff that is interesting to me starts in May and keeps going until the end of July😂

Though my problems it might have something to do with the shitty chair I had for the last six or so months <.<... My new chair arrived today and it's almost like sitting on a cloud! Only my back currently doesn't quite like the chair, but I think that also is habit from the old chair (and the dining room chair I used in between)

Well, we'll see how all of that works out 😂

Keep your fingers crossed that I can actually keep my creative juices flowing for the next few weeks - or rather months! 😂

Because right now I'm trying to do @twaufest (= the whole of may), @steter-bang (which will be June/July for me I guess?) and @steterweek (last week of July according to the blog). Soooo... we'll see how that will work out for me 😂😂😂

(And yes there's still Fae Heart which still needs to be edited but just doesn't want to cooperate and the couple of stories from last year's Steterweek I want to finish and Hello World and lots of stuffs and ideas you guys don't even know about 😂 I'll get there. I'm working on it, I promise! 😂)

For now I'm going to concentrate on the @twaufest story which will be one story with five chapters - one for each week. It's based on this prompt and we'll see how far I'll get while thinking about what to write for the @steter-bang 😂😂

Hindsight is 20/20 <.<...

Being obsessed with (especially 1 certain woman/)women playing and singing male roles in musicals doesn't sound very straight to me, dear past self <_<

Not finding the "right" fics I want to read right now (and haven't read yet) but also not able to scrape together the rest of my brain to write a fic with what I want D:

Finally got my 4th vaccination (with the new vaccine) and of course it hits me like the first one 😂

Anyway. Definitely not going to work tomorrow even if I’m not shivering without my blankets anymore (the room has ~ 18-20°C. Dunno what that’s in F and right now I don’t care. But I actually like 17/18°C very much so me shivering like nothing when it’s actually warmer in the room is defo not normal! (nvm that my face and body are also hot and not in the sexy kind of way)).

After this night I will need tomorrow to get my feet under me again <.<…. Especially since my nose doesn’t want me to breathe through my nostrils. That’s always nice for trying to sleep - to feel like I suffocate if I don’t breathe through my dry throat on purpose Öö…

I already answered this for things that make me happy in general, now I'm going to answer with stuff that makes me happe right now :D

(in no specific order... well in the order I thought of them 😂)

Thanks for asking <33