Been a fuck up all my goddamn life Scarred up wrists from a sharpened knife Wanna give up cause I'm sick of trying My only wish now is to be fucking dying Cause I can see that I'm not worth it I know that I'm not fucking perfect And everyday I'm under stress Knowing I'll never be the best Judge by all of these stupid fucks I try so hard and it fucking sucks So I take this blade to my fucking wrist Knowing I'll never fucking be missed See that stream of red just flow Never thinking I could feel this low Fuck this shit I'm fucking done I have no energy to run Put a bullet in my fucking head Let my brains fly out now I'm fucking dead

So I'm the type of person who, when I wake up in the morning I don't want to get out of bed. I'm too tired and comfy to get up and I wait to the last possible second to get up because I feel like I'm going to be exhausted and feel like shit, but almost every time without fail, once I get out of bed and I'm up for at least 5 minutes, I'm fine. Sure I'm still tired but not as bad as I was 5 minutes beforehand, and it pissed me off because I know this about myself, I know I'll be fine once I get myself up, but I still stay in bed until the last possible minute and I wanna hit myself for it :/

I was strong for too long and now I can't even be strong for the people I care about the most...

I really hate the fact that my weight is what determines weather people think I'm attractive or not. It's really hard on my self esteem and I keep having breakdowns...

So..when I watched the new episodes of Miraculous Ladybug…this is what I messaged my girlfriend…if anyone was wondering😅 (Spoilers!)

So my one year anniversary with my girlfriend is tomorrow and I decided to throw her a surprise by giving her the prom she never had. She had no interest in going to prom when she was younger, but now she tells me that she would've like to go and worn a pretty dress and all that, so I'm making her wish come true by doing this for her..do you think she'll like it??

Dear Costumers,

Please stop getting angry and yelling at the employees when they make a mistake. We are human, we make mistakes. When you yell at us, it makes us feel like shit, and most people will actually cry because you’re a fucking asshole. I’ve had costumers yell at me before and I’ve cried. You have no idea how you yelling can affect them. I have depression and anxiety. I tend to have a lot of panic/anxiety attacks over the smallest things because I get overly stressed easily. I also have a lot of mental breakdowns. So whenever I screw up and someone yells at me..I will break and cry..and I know I’m not the only one out there like this. You have no idea what people are going through. So don’t be a fucking dick and yell, just tell them politely that there was a mistake made, and you would like it fixed. It’s that easy..I’m so tired of being yelled at and seeing others being yelled at, honestly..learn to be nice to people

Do you ever have those days where you wake up and everything is just terrible? Like every little thing either makes you really upset or really angry? No matter how hard you try you just can't be happy and it just frustrates you to the point you wanna break down in tears? Then, out of no where, when all hope of happiness seems to be lost...something really good happens to you, and it makes you smile, and you get really happy and it honestly just made the shitty day you were having so much better that you've pretty much forgot all the bad things that had happened prior to, only to have that happiness rip away from you when something bad happens almost right after...like you had that little bit of happiness and you genuinely felt like things were finally gonna look up for you and then it was like someone just stomped on that little hope you had?

Some problems just can't be solved with music...

It pains me when people are so upset/angry/frustrated with you or just something and they just get up and leave. Like you're trying your best to cheer them up, doing everything you can, but you're choking back your own sadness because you don't know what to do and anything you try to do they either remain unresponsive or push you away, and then you watch them grab all their things and storm out. Then when you follow them you can feel your heart sinking and the tears swelling up in your eyes while you see them going away and you want to run after them because you want to help but your heart is pounding so hard it hurts and the tears are already falling and you're breathing is uneasy as you begin to sob, and you just stand there, unable to move because it's in that moment you honestly feel useless..and it's a feeling that just destroys you...

"Why are you so sad and insecure all the time?" Maybe it's because I was the girl who was asked out on a dare.. Maybe it's because I was the girl who got a pity date.. Maybe it's because I've been lied to multiple times.. Maybe it's because people toyed with my heart in the past.. Maybe it's because I've been told again and again I'm not worth it, that I'm useless.. Maybe it's because people have put me down for not being smart enough.. Maybe it's because people have betrayed my trust.. Maybe it's because I've been used time after time.. Maybe it's because I was told my weight was a problem more than once.. Maybe it's because I've been told I'm not pretty enough for anyone.. Maybe it's because I feel like I can't live up to everyone's expectations of me.. Maybe it's because I feel broken inside.. Maybe it's because after years of being put down for who I am as a person, I've come to hate who I am and it's hard for me to stay happy anymore..maybe that's why I seem sad and insecure all the time

It's sad that it's gotten to the point where some of my female friends are so scared of the unwanted advances of some guys that they ask me to pretend to be their girlfriend..

This is for everyone who wakes up crying every morning. This is for everyone who goes to bed at night crying. This is for everyone who fakes a smile everyday. This is for everyone who had called in sick for school/work because if they go they’re going to breakdown. This is for everyone who has been bullied. This is for everyone who is still being bullied. This is for everyone who has lost a loved one. This is for everyone who has cut themselves. This is for everyone who has thought of cutting themselves. This is for everyone who has attempted suicide. This is for everyone who has ever thought of suicide. This is for everyone who has fought back having a break down. This is for the girls who don’t think they’re pretty enough. This is for the boys who don’t think they’re good looking. This is for everyone who doesn’t think they’re beautiful. This is for everyone who is always hard on themselves. This is for everyone of colour who has to deal with racism. This is for everyone who gets hate for their beliefs/religion. This is for the bisexuals/pansexuals who are constantly told they’re confused and their sexualities aren’t real. This is for the gays/lesbians who are told their way of living is wrong. This is for the asexuals who feel broken. This is for the non-binary and the genderfluid who don’t feel valid. This is for the demisexuals who get told they’re just a joke. This is for the trans girls who don’t feel feminine enough. This is for the trans boys who don’t feel masculine enough. This if for every trans person who doesn’t think they can do it anymore. This if for everyone who feels like giving up. This is for everyone who doesn’t feel like they’re enough..

You are enough! You are more than enough. You’re a beautiful and wonderful person! You’re talented and you’ll go far someday. You are valid and important, and you bet your damn ass you’re loved, because I love you all, you’re all so strong and I know you can all do this. So chin up all you lovely princesses, princes, knights! You can all do this, I believe in you and I need you all here❤️

Does anyone else ever see someone they really care about struggling to the point where they’re in tears? Like they just breakdown in front of you and want to give up on everything and you can actually feel your heart drop and stomach twist because you want to help but you can’t really do anything and you sit there feeling useless and it just gives you this horrible feeling in your chest…even when you’ve done a lot for that person and you’ve helped them and they say you’re doing enough…you still get that feeling that you’re not good enough to help that person?

So my girlfriend was being really cute and sweet..and my dorky ass couldn't resist making an undertale reference😅 (Also I'd like to note she calls me 'Milady' because she knows how much I love Miraculous Ladybug..she's honestly the best)

Okay, so I always hear these stories of girls having their period and when they shower there’s blood everywhere and I was wondering how fucking heavy your damn period has to be for this shit to happen because not once in the 5 years of me having my damn period has this happen…like..are you girls okay? Fuck you must be some badass warrior chicks if you bleed that much and still have the will to live…you fucking go girls