Goodbye Tumblr, Hello Twitter

Hi.... Hummm this is weird, I haven’t posted on tumblr for a VERRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY long time!!! 

I wanna thank everyone for the support they have shown me here, I really appreciate it! But sadly I don’t plan on posting on tumblr anymore. My Hiatus was due to school and medical issues if I can call them that.

But on a positive note, I have sort of come back but on Twitter!!! You can follow me twitter.com/minusblueprints !!!! I post a lot of Splatoon as of late especially Splatuber related contents. I also take commissions now as well (but please if you have to contact me for commissions it’s via email or twitter DMs) All the information related to commissions are on my twitter main page. 

Thank you so much again for all the support and kindness you all have given me! BEEG LOVE to AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL of you <3

Update on yesterdays trainwreck and thoughts Soo hey yeah yesterday i sent a message on facebook saying outright that i wanted to kill myself and some aquainteces answered sending me their numbers and all. I made a message about my thoughts on that yesterday. Anyways, after i sent another message to say i was safe at home i just got a few likes and that was it. Its funny how today none of these people sent me anything to check if i was still fine or not... like it says a lot about howw things are and it totally feeds on my trainwreck of a brain that tells me i dont natter because hey look at this: nobody gives a shit or soo it seems. Like even my mom, who yesterday claimed she was gonna call a suicide hotline to get some info on what to do, left this morning without even checking if i was still fine or not. No suprise to say that shes mad at me for not telling her why i left (and that i wont tell her anything that i discussed with the social worker (aint this shit supposed to be private anyways)) after school called her to tell her i needed to go to the hospital ASAP... Anyways now the only people who actually texted me were some school mates who noticed i actually didnt go to class at all (instead of going in class, i actually went to ask for help) So hey fun times waiting at the hospital and even now i still wonder why im even still sitting here waiting when i could technically just get up and leave...

As anyone ever notice that whenever you give some signs that you are not feeling well to people around you or that you want help they always brush it off asking you to stop joking around or to not talk about heavy stuff like that. But the minute you post on facebook that you want to kill yourself because you just can't anymore, now it becomes serious business and "oh but you always seem so happy what happend?" And suddenly people you havent spoken to for the past 5 to 10 years want to talk to you? For what? So that after all these years they can pat themselves on the back for maybe saving someone they once knew? Idk honestly im just rambling here ans i dont want to offend anyone....im sorry

Random thoughts that are not so great

There are some stuff in there that might trigger some peeps. Just thought of letting you know before you read. Also i may have wrote this really weirdly.... Its crazy how quickly you can be bummed out by something. Like simply waking up and finding out youre alone in you house and when you ask people around you where theve went, you just realize they have stuff to do but your brain goes immidiately to " look buddy nobody wants you around cuz youre boring as fuck, you are basically human thrash and deserve to be lonely for the rest of your stupid life" You know it makes no sense to think something like that but you simply cant stop yourself for believing this and it keeps getting worst to the point where the next thing you kniw is how much you want someone to run over you with their car to end this cycle of shit talk you are going through. Then you realize you need help but then a lot of shit comes through. Like... how can i phrase that i need help? Wait! I can just say to someone "hey im thinking really awkward stuff and i know i might do something stupid, please talk me out of it" but then lose all courage to actully say it to anyone. You also realize that its 2 in the morning and dont want to bother anyone or feel even more dissapointed when you realize some friend dont get the hints youre sending (that also start another cycle of "see they dont care about you or your probleme stop bothering them for your own selfish reasons you garbage" and feel stupid for simply giving hints instead of saying you have a probleme outright. Then you feel guilty bevause it feels like youve been passive aggreasive with them and manipulative, because of course you brain has to make you feel like the bad guy... Sorry for rambling about this...it might be selfish of me.to say that it actually felt a bit better to say this somewhere. In a way, i know tumblr is more welcoming to this kind of stuff then facebook and your weird relatives or acquaintences on it that brush this kind or stuff as "wtf you weird here have a minion thatbwill shame you" (because nothing is more comforting than a yellow blob that insults you thank you)