I have a love-hate relationship with the character of Astarion.
I love the depth, the emotion, the sheer humanity that Larian managed to imbue into that little bunch of pixels.
I love that Larian pulled Neil in time and time again over four years to work on Astarion *with* him.
I love that Neil helped to shape Astarion's story. Advocated for him. Pushed for the *right* dialogues. Was the person to say "He wouldn't say that!"
I love that Neil is both passionate about Astarion and vehemently does not want to be him.
I love that Neil did such a wonderful job on Astarion's voice and movement. He deserves every damn award he's received.
I hate that the other actors didn't seem to get the same opportunity to engage with their character and put out the same sort of performance as Neil did. Because yes, he did an amazing job. But the playing field does not seem to have ever been level.
I hate that Neil in particular has had so many issues with fans because a vulnerable hurting character attracts the predators.
I hate that the other characters didn't get the same level of attention and love, and that it shows so damn dramatically.
I hate that Wyll, our only Black companion, got 6 months of Theo shoved into a sound booth with lines thrown at him and often no idea of what would be coming that day.
I hate that Theo seems to have never had the chance to really grasp or understand Wyll's story, let alone advocate for him, because everything was so rushed and he was basically burning the candle at both ends.
I hate that it shows so much in Wyll's story, his interactions, everything.
I hate that I love Astarion and constantly resent this fictional character a little because he gets to be an oil painting and the other characters are a collection of crayon drawings and sketches.
I hate that despite the glaring issues with the characters and questlines, Larian has still done better than most *major* game studios when it comes to thoughtful, considerate representation and diversity, and how far there is to go.
I hope that Larian were using Astarion as a litmus test. That they wanted to see if pulling in the actors at the start and engaging them heavily - instead of worrying about spoilers and leaks to the point of hurting their game - would lead to a better, more real character. If maybe having a single person advocating for each character would provide a better, more cohesive user experience in the end.
I hope they learnt that yes, people will engage far more heavily with a character when they're rich with detail and feel like real people.
I hope they learnt that to do that, you NEED to have someone in charge of keeping the character on track so you don't wander off into the weeds trying to follow every bit of customer feedback, especially when it's racist or sexist or transphobic or homophobic.
I hope they learnt that yes, letting the actors engage with their characters creates a bond that enhances the performance and adds veracity to emotional scenes. It makes the story feel as though it has a flow to it.
I hope that in their next game, they do better.
I hope that we, collectively, expect them to do better.