karma came around like i knew it would

i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!

Area Man Who Has "Had Enough" Wakes Up Next Morning at 6:30 AM to Commute to Work Again

Literally the most life changing thing i've read

Florence Welch on writing ‘High as Hope’

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out, Richard Siken

unfortunately im very self aware

sad i’m not wine drunk in italy rn

life really is just like. you meet people you love them and then you lose them and you never see them again. and it's inevitable and it happens to everyone and there's nothing you can do about it

richard siken quote. you know the one

I’ve been most awake from hours 1am to 7am the past 3 months and I think it’s actually transforming my body into whatever we think lives in unexplored caves

i do understand the experience of yr native language feeling too intimate and close to talk about certain topics, and preferring english instead. it happens to people growing up in non-anglo countries too, like me and most people in my social circles. i experienced that a lot as a mentally ill gay teenager alienated from most of my peers and environment. (i still do to an extent, even though nowadays it's really a symptom of denial or avoidance for me, if i can't discuss something in my native language i know it's because i'm avoiding the topic in my mind in general. it almost serves as an indicator.)

but like it definitely gets better the more you do it.. when i noticed this in myself, i put in effort to read and write in turkish both casually and with purpose, and i started expressing things to myself in turkish and it's been really valuable to build that connection to myself, my sexuality and my body. it's also made me a better writer and poet in both turkish and english, and like just overall has been good for my mental wellbeing..

like what im saying is that, it's possible to overcome that, and for me personally it was necessary for some healing processes to happen. it therefore seems really alarming and concerning to see everyone talk about this and accept it as a fact that just Happens and almost as fate. like you can go and read, write, watch, listen in your language and work thru the uncomfortableness, awkwardness, the crying and weeping and whatever and build that relationship. it's an uncomfortable but simultaneously very rewarding, exciting and once again, healing process. like i recommend that instead of taking that as an inevitable tbh. like it's at least partially a choice you (we) made for many valid reasons as a kid / early teen and you (we) can make the other choice to heal those wounds imo, not to be sappy but it is what i think

Sue Zhao // Dialogues on Love #4 // “Maybe I already do”

I know this isn’t something you want to hear, but I think it’s something you need to hear: sometimes someone’s inability to love you the right way is not their fault. If you are the first person to show someone pure, genuine love, they may not know how to reciprocate because they’ve never experienced it before. In turn, they may not know how to give it back. This doesn’t mean that it’s your job to teach them, that you have to tolerate it, or that you deserve it, but I’ve found it incredibly helpful in my own healing to understand that sometimes people aren’t hurting you or treating you poorly intentionally. Sometimes people will self sabotage good things because they don’t think they’re worthy of it. Sometimes they just don’t know what to do, so they ruin it, whether that be by running away, being disrespectful, or causing pain. Sometimes, people still have their own growing to do. I don’t say this to justify any of their bad actions, but to offer a different perspective that may aid you in forgiving and ultimately reaching your peace.

— alhwrites

Mommy (2014)

Directed by Xavier Dolan Cinematography by André Turpin

Poland just made it legal to torture women.

abortion law in Poland was already the strictest in Europe, abortion was allowed in only 3 cases:

another problem is that there is something called "conscience clause" among Polish doctors which means that they can deny a patient certain treatment if it's against their conscience or beliefs (yes, it mostly applies to conservative, catholic doctors). some doctors went as far as not telling women about foetal defects until it was too late to terminate pregnancy. what's more, abortion in case of rape happens very rarely, since it's difficult to prove rape in the eyes of Polish law.

in 2019, only 1100 legal abortions took place in Poland, a country populated by 38 milion people. 98% of these abortions happened because of foetal defects.

on October 22nd 2020, Poland's top court ruled abortion due to foetal defects inconstitional, basically making abortion illegal.

Polish women will be forced to give birth to children with basically no chance to live. they will be tortured physically and mentally. rich women will be able to visit neighbouring countries to have abortion there but there are plenty of women who will have unsafe, illegal abortions, endangering their lives.

there are protests happening all over the country. not for the first time though, we've been protesting abortion ban for few years now. there's a sense of solidarity among us but the truth is, we're afraid.

this is how catholic extremism looks like. Poland is becoming a real-life Gilead and it's fucking terrifying.

my personal curse is the knowledge that I function best with rigid structure and strict routine but am almost totally incapable of independently establishing or maintaining that structure and routine