Filling my rat nest with trinkets

Tak's Ship "Incoming call"

Dib "Ignore."

Tak's Ship "Parental Control override."

Dib "Oh come on!"

Tak's Ship "HA HA!"

Dib "Eben?"

Eben "Greetings! Salutations! Good Wishes and all similar such shit on behalf of the Pines family and myself, young Dilbert."

Dib "Did Todd give you the code to the parental control override? Dad gave TODD the code to the parental controls?!"

Eben "I will neither confirm nor deny this."

Dib "FUCK YOU, TODD, YOU SKINNY NARC KISS ASS PRICK!"

Pepito " You're going to be a good dad one day."

Squee "(To Pepito) Shut the fuck up... (to Dib) If it makes you feel better, dad changes the code every 10 days."

Dib "IT DOESN'T! STILL FUCK YOU, TODD!"

Eben "That's enough out of you."

Dib "With all due respect, I'm not in the mood to talk. Please hang up."

Eben "With all due respect, I don't give a fraction of a FUCK what you want. I want a drama free environment when I come home from work, but I'm a father of two and a husband trying to hold down a marriage kept together by a thread, so kindly tell me what's eatin' ya?"

[Continuation of this

Cringe fan interpretation is cringe. Apparently the relationship I pictured Dipper and Mabel's parents have was NOT canon accurate at all. I'm dedicated to my ocs now though, so this side plot will continue and there is a point to it.

I apologize for my cringe, but I don't. I do genuinely apologize for how quick and sloppy my drawings are though. Not in a good place right now.

Pepito "Heeey, pequeño erudito raro! I thought you were giving another lecture on your alien enemy research with Dipper tonight. Did he cancel? Prior nerd engagement?

You're in for a treat! It took me 4 months of practice and I had to drag Randy Rhoads back up from hell for pointers, but I finally nailed the intro to Bark at the Moon... Dib...? You ok?..."

Had time to kill before my shift starts. Wanted to try to continue with this sub plot

For context, Pepito temporarily lives out of the Membrane family's garage after Squee is kicked out of his dad's home in LA and moves across the country to live with the Membranes (long story short, Gaz discovers she has an older half brother and reaches out to Todd). (Is taking some goof off time before college starts).

Prof. Membrane hasn't been home in months, so he hasn't noticed. The neighbors notice though. He constantly blairs loud music/ practices guitar and keyboard.

I should really redraw this when I take the time to illustrate the whole scene.

Gaz "So, Dib isn't in his room."

Kimber (through the game slave head set) "What??"

Gaz "Pep says he's in the garage with him."

Squee "Reassuring but not really."

Gaz "He locked himself in Tak's ship for a while. I can try to break into the cockpit, but-"

Mabel "Dad's home!"

Kimber "Oh, thank G-d. Babydoll, I think I know what to do. Keep playing. I'm going to let Eben handle this, okay?"

Gaz "Works for us. Thanks, Kimber."

Kimber "Hi, babe."

Eben "Hello, my good lady-wife. Mason, Mabel... Why... all the forlorn faces? Did you wire Uncle Stan money? What did he do--?"

Kimber "No! Never again."

Dipper "Dad, I need you to do me a favor."

Eben "If it's give you a ride, absolutely the fuck not. Bike it and if it's too far to reach your destination by bike then you do not need to leave this house at this late hour."

Dipper "I don't need a ride. I just need you to call Dib."

Eben "Oh yeah. We have yet to receive an update. So young Dilbert stil lives?"

Dipper "Yes, but he's not doing too great."

Eben "This can wait until I eat a meal and burn down a fat one mayhaps?"

Dipper/ Mabel "DAD!!"

Eben "Ok! Hand me the phone."

[A continuation of this dialogue

I had Dib/ Eben's conversation written out somewhere, but I can't find it! So I stopped here. Hopefully I find it, because I never can make a dialogue flow as well the second go around.]

Stan "I hope for all your victims' sake you learned how to properly sharpen a knife since the Mystery Hut. Or is it funner for you to cut into someone with a dull blade and shoddy handle?"

Nny "Ghrr?!! Don't you fucking DARE! That knife display was immaculate! I worked HARD on it!! My custom knives were the jewel of the shop and you KNOW IT!"

Dipper "STOP provoking him! What is WRONG with you?"

Stan "But it's SO EASY! Just look at his face."

Nny "Are you volunteering for a demonstration?? It sounds like it!"

Stan "Hey, if a few love jabs will boost your confidence-."

Dipper "GRUNKLE STAN! FOR SHIT'S SAKE, MAN! You know he'll do it!"

Stan "True and he knows what I'll do to him if he does."

Nny "I HATE you so much!!"

Stan "Goddamn, I missed this."

[Breakroom sketch. An exchange of dialogue that sounded funny in my head. Happy late Easter everyone. ]

Soos "I feel ya on the "noodle boy" thing."

Nny "You feel me? Is that insipid half-hearted sentiment supposed to engage me?"

Soos "I'm Soos, not Shakespeare. Work with me, dude. Trying to connect with you on some kind of meaningful level here."

Nny "-- Ok. That may have been uncalled fo--OW!"

Stan "This is why you wore the "bitch" shirt. You can apologize to Soos and sit up straight or I can slap you again."

Nny "I said sorry." *remains in gargoyle hunch*

Stan "What do you have against pleasant conversation and sitting like a human? You try to teach them not to be weirdos."

Dipper "You're not the best coach. Soos, go on."

Soos "It's cool, dude. So, circling back--

From the the time I was in 4th grade until the time I was in 8th grade, I was known to all the kids in my school AND Sunday school as "Fruit Chunks". Everyone, everyday for four years addressed me as "Fruit Chunks."

Nny "Oh wow..."

Dipper "Fruit--? Wait, I get it; gay slurr meets fat joke. Derogatory and demeaning! HA! HA! HA! HA! That really sucks, Soos. I'm sorry."

Nny "That is pretty shitty."

Soos "Oh no; I'm not done. It gets better..."

[Segway from this

Tried to practice perspective to some Seance au dialogue. In retrospect, I should have tried writing this fic (and addressed the Forgotten Memories fic I keep telling myself will eventually continue) in flashback.

Soos flashback deserves it's own illustrations.

Little brain spurts is all I have for now.]

Dipper "As opposed to.. ?"

Nny "Bitch."

Dipper *flashing Stan a dirty look*

Stan "He was the shop grunt, but he earned a demotion."

[Breakroom Sketch to some dialogue I need to write out the rest eventually.

Soos hands Nny a new STAFF shirt, for context.]

Nny "Everyone here will forever know me as "Johnny Screw-Loose", so thank you. Thank you for that."

Stan "I gave you hundreds of other nicknames you hated."

Nny "I remember."

Stan "Sunshine, Sad Clown, Frowny-Puss, Count Sulk-ula, Spooky Two-Boots, El Perchero-- This one just happened to stick."

Nny "Why can't you just call me Nny? You call Dipper "Dipper". You call Soos "Soos"-"

Stan "They earned it."

Nny "What?"

Stan "Na, I just like them more."

Nny "Fuck you, old man."

Stan "Personally, Turkey Jerky is my favorite."

Pepito (other room; bursts into hysterical laughter) "TURKEY JERKY!!"

Nny "SHUT UP!!"

Stan "Well, you freaked out when I called you Noo-"

Nny *animalistic rage growl*

[Quick break room sketch and dialogue to cheer myself up before I clock in. Haven't drawn these two in a while.

Poor Nny. Stan has so many nicknames for him.]

[Over 10 Summerweens ago]

Nny "That's your plan?! Keep him trapped inside your mind?! That's a shit plan! You do understand that's a SHIT plan, right?"

Dipper "Until I come up with a way to destroy Bill for good, it's the only plan I have to work with."

Nny "How did you trap him inside your head in the first place?"

Dipper "It was a happy accident. Dib and I were playing with this interdimensional scope and he just slipped back in, BUT this time, I know how to keep Bill from fully taking over."

Nny "Dib doesn't know either?"

Dipper "NO! He doesn't need to know! No one else needs to know! The whole damn point is to keep Ill-bay Ipher-cay off everyone's minds! If no one brings him up, it's easier to keep him from jumping into someone else's head!"

Nny "And you believe staying doped out of your skull is keeping him trapped? Aren't you in college? How are you supposed to function like this? For how long?"

Dipper "As long as it takes. Whatever keeps him from terrorizing my family.."

Nny "I'm not exactly the best person to give out life advice, but speaking as someone who has dealt with my fair share of cosmic horrors, I'm telling you THIS is going to backfire. Worst case scenario, the horrors consume you and drive you to KILL anyone who is able or willing to help you. Unlike ME, YOU have a network of friends and family who can help you. You don't have to fight these battles alone like I did-"

Dipper "I'm trying to protect my friends and family. This is a demon we've fought before. Please trust my judgment."

Nny "Trust the judgment of a 19-year-old frat boy covered in pot leaf decals trying to trap a demon in his head with micro doses of LSD... yeah, no. NO-"

Dipper "Stop calling everyone who made it into uni a frat boy! I'm not in a fucking fraternity! And forgive me if I don't trust the judgment of a man who once choked a woman to death with the chord to his headphones because she flashed a dead tooth when she smiled at you."

Nny "It was off-putting!"

Dipper "Grunkle Stan thinks highly of you. I WANT to believe you actually WANT to be apart of this family and you wouldn't try to hurt any of us, but I'm not altogether convinced. You want to convince me?"

Nny *frustrated growl* "Goddamn you, Squee, I can't believe you made me care about any of this-- YES, sure!"

Dipper "Ok, GOOD! Then keep your mouth SHUT and your short neck OUT OF THIS. Will you PROMISE ME, for the sake of this family's safety and possibly all of humanity's safety you will never mention this to anyone in this shack EVER?"

Nny "Son of bitch... yes. YES. Yes, I promise."

Dipper "Thank you. Let's get back upstairs before someone realizes we're missing."

Nny "Yes, LETS. That portal thingy gives off big moose wall energy and it's turning my stomach."

(A continuation of this dialogue)

[Nny's shirt is supposed to say "Ask Me About Sascrotch" but I drew this at a shitty angle.]

So, I recently rewatched an episode of Gravity Falls and noticed Sascrotch, one of Grunkle Stan's fake Mystery Shack attractions...

AND I immediately kicked myself for not remembering the sascrotch when the I wrote the last BS chapter of my JTHM/ Gravity Falls cross over fic... which was fun to write, but I'm sure I was probably the only one who got the big kick out of the chapter as I did.

To summarize the chapter; Stan makes his first fake taxidermy crypted; a female moose centaur creature he names Titty Moose. [She has the body of a moose, a woman's torso for a neck (old sex doll) and the head of a moose on the torso]. Stan is proud of this abomination he made and displays it at the Mystery Hut.

Nny is horrified by this monstrosity. Stan terrorizes Nny for hours with her. Nny, unable to stand the sight of Titty Moose another day, destroys her by blowing her up with fireworks in the street.

Stan punishing Nny by making him sit outside with Sascrotch the next shift SHOULD have been how that chapter ended. Maybe I'll just clean up this sketch later and add it as an ending illustration (finally figured out how to do that on ao3). It's taking me forever to update that fic, so an illustration ending is probably the best option.

Regrets...

Dipper "This question may be too personal, but I have to ask-- How were you NOT compelled to kill grunkle Stan, of all people?"

Nny "I TRIED!! DON'T YOU THINK I TRIED?!!"

[Back in 1990, somewhere in the underground tunnel labrynth between Nny's house and the pawn shop]

Stan "Johnny, open the damn door. Quit screwing around."

Nny "Nope, that's not my last name either."

Stan "The Hell with this! I'm done playing this Rumpelstiltskin game; I'll bust myself out!"

Nny "You can't punch your way out of every situation."

Stan *challenging glare*

Nny "COULD A NOODLE DO THIS?!!"

[Nny made several other attempts. I just have other stuff to work on.]

(In the game room)

Nny "Loser teaches me how to play!"

Dib "Don't touch that!"

Nny "Rude."

Dib "I'm not trying to be a dick head. Dipper and I have been playing a chess by mail game for about 7 years now. Getting his next move is the only way I know he's still alive."

Nny "Dipper?"

Dib "Stan's nephew! Come on, man. I know it's been a while, but- Wizard?"

Nny "Wizard! Right; I have such a mental block against referring to him as "Dipper". Are you white or black?"

Dib "Black."

Nny "It looks like Wizard is beating you."

Dib "I'm aware."

Nny "Why chess by mail? Neither of you are seniors and, you know, videogames exist."

Dib "He rarely ever calls or texts or emails anyone anymore. The last one of us to see him in person was Mabel. After that falling out with Ford, he quit uni and pretty much went off the grid. Turned into a northwest cryptid."

Nny "Hu. That's... an odd thing for Wizard to do."

Dib "No shit. I almost dropped dead from shock when he called the the other month."

Nny "He's still trying to keep Bill trapped inside his mind, hu?"

Dib "WHAT?"

Nny "Shit! I wasn't supposed to say anything."

Dib "No, you need to say MORE. NOW."

Nny "Damn it. You idiot, Johnny..."

[A continuation of this dialogue

https://www.tumblr.com/messinwitheddie/731593148362571776/filling-my-rat-nest-with-trinkets

Cleaned up a couple of days of breakroom sketches]

Soos "That explains the "moose wall". What's the story behind that wall?"

Nny "Oh. That's a list of forbidden words or phrases I find triggering or annoying no one is allowed to say under my roof. This was back when Squee and Pep were kids and used to hang out here after school every other day. Most of the words are up there because of Pep. YES, the list still applies."

Soos "May I ask why it's written in blood?"

Nny "So they knew I wasn't fucking joking. Most of it isn't written in human blood, just rat or kitten blood, except wacky."

Soos " Ok, I know what I said earlier, but I'm gonna judge you a little bit for that, dude."

Nny "Fair enough."

Dipper "Wait, wacky is at the top of the list?"

Nny "YES!"

Dipper "Ok, ok. I'm not questioning it; just a little surprised by it."

Soos "What about in reference to wacky waving inflatable tube men?"

Nny ".........."

Soos "So no?"

Nny "...I hate you the least out of everyone here right now. Don't ruin that."

Soos "Had to check."

Dipper "So, this is how we're spending our evenings from now on, hu?"

Mabel "Mom brought him home from work!"

Kimber "He was a promotional prop for our new office space, but now he's my dance partner. So energetic, so fluid!"

Dipper "So distracting."

Mabel "We'll clear the living room before Dib's next Zim update; don't worry."

Kimber "I hope he calls a truce with Zim on earth's behalf and Zim decides to adopt earth as his new home. We'll all become good friends.. I can interview him; exchange recipes and mix cds. Aw!! Then when he starts a big Irken family I can see what their babies look like."

Mabel "Smeets."

Kimber "What?"

Mabel "Irken infants are called smeets."

Kimber "Awww! Little smeetie-beebies."

Mabel "We can adopt one! Or a pair if they're social!"

Dipper "What if smeets projectile puke highly corrosive acid or they're just really ugly?"

Kimber "No baby is ugly. I don't care what kind of fluid it spews out; I want to adopt one and name 'em Babka unless Zim insists they keep an Irken name. If I can't pronounce it, I'm going to be so embarrassed."

Dipper "Are you going to raise it Jewish?"

Kimber "Well, yeah... unless Zim openly objects."

Mabel "Are we allowed to do that, like, on our end? Can an alien convert to Judaism?"

Kimber "Ye....er...? I will do some research and ask some questions."

Dipper "Guys, stop. I was just being facetious. Zim isn't here to make peace with humanity, that's very much established, and he's NOT going to hand you alien baby adoptables. This conversation is too stupid to entertain any further."

Kimber "A human can hope."

Dipper "Just... I don't even know if Dib has an update. Did he message you at all recently?"

Mabel "No. He usually contacts you first. You haven't heard from him?"

Dipper "Not since last week."

Mabel *wincing "Ooh. When he just cut the stream mid update?"

Dipper "Yeah."

Kimber "Poor baby. He got all glassy-eyed and quiet."

Dipper "That was weird."

Mabel "And sad. I wonder what happened?"

Kimber "Did we say something that upset him?"

Dipper "I don't know. I don't think so, but... Wait; Gaz logged on. I'll ask her what's up with him."

Gaz "Dib...? He's been in his room doing Dib things I would rather remain ignorant about."

Dipper "Is he okay?"

Gaz "I... guess so? Why?"

Dipper "He hasn't contacted me or replied to me at all since last week. I even hacked into the swollen eyeball site. He's been idle for days."

Gaz "That is kind of weird. Wait, you hacked the swollen eyeball? Why not just make an account?"

Dipper "I'm banned."

Mabel "What?"

Dipper "Not me specifically; The entire Pines family is blacklisted by the swollen eyeball."

Gaz "What did you DO? They haven't even banned Dib yet and he's a nuisance."

Dipper "It wasn't me; my zadie Shermie used to have a lot of heated arguments with some of the elder mods in the mid 80's. There were a lot more antisemitic conspiracy theories circulating in the SE back then, from what dad told me."

Gaz "Yikes."

Dipper "Yeah... Anyway, um, you haven't spoken to Dib or seen him come out of his room at all?"

Gaz "Not in past few days."

Dipper "And that didn't seem concerning to you?"

Gaz "That's not unusual or anything. We try to give each other generous amounts of personal space in this house. I just assumed he was obsessively going over his stupid Zim research or editing the next update with you."

Dipper "No, I haven't heard from him. We just wanted to make sure he was ok. He seemed really upset last time we face timed, like he was about to cry or break down or something."

Gaz "About what?"

Dipper "No idea. I was hoping he said something to you."

Gaz "If he did, I wasn't listening."

Dipper "That's kind of shitty."

Gaz "I'll spare you an emasculating comeback while I carry us through this mini boss battle."

Dipper "Could you check to see if he's alive? Tell him to text me when he feels like it."

Gaz "Now?"

Dipper "Preferably."

Gaz "But we almost reached the save point."

Dipper "Don't you think your brother's well-being takes priority?"

Gaz "No."

Dipper "That's really shitty."

Gaz "Says someone who never smelled Dib's room before."

Kimber "Gazlene?! Go tell your brother to come downstairs and floaty screen talk with us right now, little miss! Be a good sister. Tell him you love him and we miss him and we're here for him."

Gaz "Is she trying to guilt trip me too?"

Dipper "Welcome to the family."

Gaz "Fine. After we reach the next save point; Only because YOU care. But I won't be pleasant about it. Actually-- Hold on... Todd? Todd!"

Squee -startled mid-snore snort!- "What?! What's burning?!"

Gaz "Nothing yet. Do me a favor. Go tell Dib he needs to call Dipper. The whole Pines family is worried sick about him apparently and they're trying to make it my concern."

Squee "Um...ok. Sooo, the last time I went into his room, he told me to fuck off and threw a bucket of chicken bones at my head. Not putting myself through that again. Sorry..."

Gaz -irritated growl- "Fucking serious?"

Squee "Sorry, but, I scrub the bathroom twice a week. You go deal with Dib."

Gaz "Damnit..."

A continuation of this dialogue.

Chapters: 8/? Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Gravity Falls Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Not a romantic story - Relationship Characters: Johnny "Nny" C., Stan Pines Additional Tags: Crossover Summary:

A JTHM/ Gravity Falls crossover the world never asked for and does not need, but I'm writing it anyways.

Way back in 1990 a 17-year-old orphaned outcast in the onset of insanity named Johnny C starts working at a grubby little pawnshop, "The Mystery Hut." The owner, a grouchy old man of mystery from New Jersey attempts to collect as many strange items as possible for a bigger pet project, the "Mystery Shack". An unlikely frienemy-ship develops. Can these two keep their crazy in check and each other out of trouble? Probably not.

Nny *pained, winded grunt*

Stan "Okay! I'll say it! I cared about you! I never wanted to! I had MY OWN PROBLEMS, but you grew on me!"

Nny "Like HELL!"

Stan "HOLD STILL! I DID care because I DID respect you! You’re smart, you’re resilient, you're creative-- you impressed me! That's not easy!"

Nny *frustrated eldrich horror screech*

Stan "Maybe I was tough on you! Maybe I took the jokes and pranks a little too far, but I never lied to you! Embellish and exaggerate at times, yeah, sure, but I told you the truth about Gravity Falls!

I left to try to make right what I made so wrong… but in the process I wronged you too...

You were the closest thing I had to family at the time, but I didn't treat you like it. You didn't deserve to face this cruel world alone… and that's exactly what I forced you to do. Shit, Johnny, I knocked the fight right out of you. I'm so s-"

Nny “It's easy for you to say sorry NOW!--"

(A breakroom sketch continuation of this dialogue.

Again, no time and energy for a full page. Have to put in the effort for the rest of the dialogue though. Added a second panel before the load gets here.)

Nny "For three brief months out of my miserable life, I had somewhere to go where I felt like I belonged! I felt like a real human being with a real friend... I saw a flicker of light at the end of a looooong, dark tunnel—And you ripped all of that away from me! For what?! To open a shitty tourist trap?!”

Stan “The Mystery Shack didn't matter! It was a cover! I left to find my brother, goddamnit! His lab is in Gravity Falls. I had to fix the machine and bring him home! I couldn’t stay in Cal-"

Nny “SHUT UP!! I didn't fall for that bullshit story then and I won’t fall for it now! I tried SO hard to earn your respect, but all you ever do is mess with my head and belittle me! No more lies! No more tall tales! No more old folksy nuggets of wisdom! I refuse to listen to you! If you're to speak me, let it only be to confess you're a sadistic , greedy bastard! You never once cared about me! You ENJOYED making me miserable! Admit it, goddamn you! Admit it!”

Stan “You're really going to make me say it?!"

[A continuation of this dialogue

Don't have the time or the energy to churn out a full page, but any progress is progress, I guess.