Filling my rat nest with trinkets

Miyuki "... That line of questioning is rather intrusive-- A tallest wouldn't, er, DOESN'T discuss such matters with anyone else besides the control brains or with their top frylords and high generals if need be, BUT I've been dead for what? A century now? Close to a century, roughly? *shrug*

I suppose I could indulge your curiosity.

Sadly, I didn't live to personally watch the official launch of the Massive. My predecessors more or less carried out my plans for conquest. From what information that has been relayed to me, Tallest Red and Purple had launched a series of invasions. Planet Vort has been successfully conquered and the Vortian race is rendered completely subservient to the Irken empire. That accomplishment was towards the top of my list of goals. As repulsive as they are visually, socially and politically, Vortian technology is a staple for improving the quality of life within the Irken empire.

Many of the planets and alien races dwelling on them were flagged for conquest were flagged so strictly for cheap labor. The Mekrob were targeted because they pose the most formidable threat against the scheduled invasions. The Mekrob are a highly intellectually and spiritually advanced species. If left unchecked, they might organize rebellion against us, hence why I marked them as a highly prioritized target.

My goal was the same as any other tallest's-- to expand the Irken empire and maintain the might and glory of the existing territories within the empire.

Young tallests Red and Purple followed the warpath I marked for the most part.

PERSONALLY, I would have launched a stealth opener invasion against the Mekrob BEFORE launching the full-scale ID1 oporation to eliminate the biggest threat.

The Vortians were more of a threat than an ally to us. The Planet Jackers haven't been a threat to us since the treaty between our species was drafted and signed The Inquisitorians and Hymenopteracians are too essential to the fundamental structure of the empire so I honored the Irken alliance between them and us. I would like to think young Red and Purple will honor these treaties too. We Irkens are not heathens. We will not break a treaty unless betrayed or threatened.

If I were to criticize them for their approach to universal conquest, it would be their careless handling of newly discovered planets. A wise tallest does NOT blow up random lifeless planets like smeets with firecrackers. Real estate is a limited resource even in our vast universe. When you find solid rock, YOU BUILD SOMETHING ON IT! You don't blow it up!

But... Red and Purple are in charge now, not me. We shall see how events play out on the timeline ahead.

Hoola "I was reluctant to move to urth at first, but Lyr begged me to move in with him and his mothers. I didn't have the heart or a valid enough excuse to refuse.

Life on Earth is a culture shock, I'm not going to lie. I still struggle to understand Lyric and most other humans in his "family". I used to criticize Zim for how little about human culture he understands, but having lived here, amongst you people, I get it wholeheartedly. Every day is a learning experience.

Apparently, there are several dialects of the "English" language. Half of Lyr's family speaks "American" English and the other half speaks "Australian" English and both rely on 60% idisims that escape the translating capabilities of my PAK. Just develope a universal Urth language and stick with it. Be more back-asswards, humanity! Sorry, sorry. That's insensitive, but it's... true. There are SO many languages and dialects for each language and idisims and slang for each language in each "country" within each region on each content, it's so hard for me to follow. Good Glord and her whole army, I'm trying. I'm really REALLY trying, but it's no use. Despite my higher educational training, I sound stupid when I speak in human languages.

I rarely leave the high end condominium or the city of Sydney Lyric and their mothers live in generaly, but when I do, I HAVE to to have one of my human roommates with me or I get completely lost. On Irk, in the areas underground and on the surface, the map is based on an easy to navigate, clearly numerically labeled grid. Same goes for Conventia, the Massive, Producia, Foodcourtia, Conventia, Devastis and 99.9% of the rest of the rken empire. Not so much on Earth... A lot of untamed forrests and rural areas. A lot of primitive cities in th upper- Americas, Europe, Australia and probably on the other continents too, but I haven't travelved to them yet. Lyr's co-mother, Gaz, is excited to take me to the "country" of Mexico in South America this summer. I hear the food is great, so I'm looking forward to the trip.

Maybe I should have stayed with Mad Madem Mem on her rogue planet. Her hive needed an experienced medic, but I've served the Irken Empire for SOOOooo many centuries. I REALLY needed a decade or so of low-pressure relaxation before my expiration timer clocks out. Lyr's uncle Dib keeps in regular contact with Zim and Mem, so if I am needed, I will gladly go back."

All-in-all, I am enjoying my stay... Hoop would have loved Earth, I know it. In a strange way, Lyr reminds me of him... There is something intriguing about human family clusters. Maybe Lyr is the smeet fate and biology denied Hoop and I... I'm grateful I can live the rest of my life with people who care about me and who went out of their way to include me in their family cluster. Their loyalty and love is incomparable even through a thick layer of dysfunction and human flaws. It took me a while, but I understand why Zim became so attatched to these monkeys.

1. MANY Irken soldiers/ veterans, slave drivers, invaders and even many tallests DO feel a deep sense of guilt and remorse for the people they hurt/ enslave/ bring to extinction. They just have no socially acceptable way to express these feelings or can even find a safe place to discuss these issues.

Commander Poki and Invader Larb struggle to live with themselves after their successful invasions. I cannot find the posts I made about those two discussing this topic to save my life. (I REALLY gotta go through this blog and organize...)

Irkens are similar to humans in the sense they want to be good. Unfortunately you really can't BE good or bad, only do good or bad things. What defines an act as good and bad is subjective to the culture you're raised in.

Irkens, like humans and pretty much ALL lifeforms are also are driven by a need to survive. Irken morality doesn't always align with human morality. Human morality differs from culture to culture and across time periods. I try to keep that in mind as I develope my aus. Not to claim my drawings/ writing isn't biased in any way, it most certainly is. I'm just one human, not a worldly one at that.

ALL actions have consequences and every Irken will experience the consequences of their actions; sometimes sooner while they're alive, sometimes later after they pass on. It's a case by case basis.

2. Arugula "I was always slightly above average in height. I experienced my first massive growth spurt sometime midway between my 3rd and 4th decade. I was still working as an on-call foot soldier and a full-time sanitation drone at the time.

When I eventually was measured tallest of my hive, I started keeping birthing drones in my chambers out of tradition.

A tallest is expected to house and provide care and snacks for the hive's birthing drones during the fertility festivals until at least the day of the birthening. The tallest's chambers is supposed to be the most secured area of an Irken hive and large enough to accommodate a small legion of drones.

I grew to enjoy the company of my birthing drones via interaction. Who would not become entranced by such loveliness and primal strength? Any tallest worthy of their stature would house, protect and cherish the drones who replenish their workforce and military.

SEVERAL other tallests declared war against me and launched heavy raid attacks on my hive in an attempt to steal my birthing drones; including my sister, Jamjam.

She was experiencing an alarming population decline. Perhaps I could have... should have been more willing to give her or sell her a few of my birthing drones, but... she could have been more willing to agree to my terms of a proper alliance. Politics can be so UGLY. Power changed JamJam for the worse. She would say the same about me, I'm sure.

At the time of my second measuring, my hive had the highest population of fertile women. My personal chambers were a prize intensely sought after by my enemies and apparently my allies alike. My faithful soldiers and sentry drones bravely fought off such raids many times. It only took one successful raid to destroy everything.

At this point I can only hope present and future tallests may learn from my mistakes as a ruler.

3. Dib "Uh... I would like to blame genetics. I mean, I AM technically Dad's clone and he's a big guy. It wasn't an overnight transformation either. As a teen, I went through several HUGE growth spurts. I was well over six feet by the time I turned 17. I had, well, still have stretch marks on my hips and shoulders to prove it.

My senior year of high school is when I really started to bulk up. I played football and joined the wrestling team for a while. Dad enjoyed me playing football more than I did. I kind of miss wrestling though. Had to drop it to focus on Uni work. Then, you know, I packed on the freshman 15--"

Zim "And an additional 15 every semester after. Next he'll blame trying to quit smoking and the "medication" his "therapist" prescribed him-"

Dib "I haven't gained THAT much weight."

Zim "Your tits are bigger than Reginald's birthing monkey and the May-Bell's combined."

Dib/ Reg "ZIM!!"

Zim "WHAAAT??!"

Reg "Don't mention my mom's tits o-or ANY of those 3 sets of tits ever again, or you'll have a new mortal enemy."

Zim "Pfft!! You don't threaten me, Dab-monkey. Try again when you grow into a big meaty urth ape like the big meaty urth ape who sired you.

*coughs* Where was I? Oh! The Dib! He grew to such proportions because all he does is "work" and "study" and in between, stuff his face with disgusting Urth food instead of facing off against his greatest enemy."

Dib "I WILL choke slam you, Zim."

4. Soxx *exhales a deep, spooch-centered wheeze; the closest thing to a laugh he can muster*

Kii indeed wrote my vision off as a flight of fancy... at first. To my dismay, it took some... active convincing on my part. So much unnecessary bloodshed. BUT, she eventually shared my vision.

My predictions are NEVER wrong."

5. Zim "Why are YOU so smelly?!"

(I'm sorry for the lack of illustrations; I feel like these answers would work so much better with illustrations. I'm just dealing with some landlord drama here recently and trying to finish up some other completely un-related WIPs that desperately need finishing.

I have no idea if all these asks are from the same person or from different people because most are left anonymously. (Which is perfectly fine; I almost always leave asks anonymously.)If I'm neglecting your asks, I assure you, it's not intentional. So many good questions; I appreciate all of them. Please be patient; I'm trying.)

All very good questions, which is why I feel obligated to warn everyone cringe, self-indulgent answers are ahead.

1. Yeet ends up deserting the Irken empire altogether for Mem's hive. She agrees to let Zim downgrade her PAK, severing herself from the CB's core collective. She stays in Mem's hive and continues to perform lookout/ guard duties as well as assist Purple with certain everyday tasks, as he is rendered disabled after being cut off from things like his hovor belts/ smart gauntlets (hence why he often walks with a cane after being de-measured. The measuring process is very damaging to the body.)

Yeet also volunteeres to lead an exploration expedition across Mem's mystery planet to help gather information about the surface beyond Mem's hive's known territories. She helped Zim, Dib and Reg draw accurate maps and extensively document the flora and fauna of the continent the hive occupies and eventually the whole planet.

In between expeditions, Yeet volunteers to bodyguard the Resisty-serving Cantina Gir (or frylord “Gorr-May" as he is eventually knighted after earning the title of Frylord in his own right) secretly opens on Mem’s mystery planet. Gir/Gorr-May is only able to sneak away and cook at the cantina occasionally, as the CB full system takeover puts him/ his employees at a huge risk. His apprentice, Mem's daughter, Vicious, does most of the cooking for the cantina.

Yeet provides Mem's hive with a much needed boost in silk, as her “condition" never improves, so she volunteers her time to silk spinning, laundry and mending clothes. She makes dolls for the smeets/ other infant species in her spare time. Yeet enjoys much more meaningful enrichment after joining Mem's hive. She stays active, happy and very much appreciated there, even if her and Gir/Gorr-May never have a swarm of their own (a mutual agreement between the two if them.).

Where Yeet is exactly when Purple dies, is not yet determined. She is very upset when she discovered he had passed. She mourned him deeply; Purple was one of her best friends, despite everything. He even officiated her and Gir's union.

2. Cini has a bad habit of holding in when he puffs on his amber pipe because he believes the old superstition that doing so will increase the effects of the amber (somehow smoke is able to pass through Irken tear ducts in my personal head canon. This is unhealthy and unnecessary. Do not hold in smoke. Don’t smoke in general, in case any minors are ignoring my blog boundaries lol).

3. Tenn (whispering) “That's just a prominent stretch mark from our pregnancies. She's a little bitter. Mine all faded before hers, so just don’t bring it up. She trained our swarms to attack on command.”

Tak “I can hear you over there!”

4. Why do you have to pit 3 bad bitches against each other? ^0

5.You know what? I cannot for the life of me find the drawing you are referring to. Slowly but surely , I'm organizing my drawing room, but have yet to come across it. It is lost in tumblr limbo for sure.

I changed the story around since drawing/ posting that.

Reg temporarily cuts ties with both the Membrane and Van Verminstrasser families while in college during his early to mid 20’s. He goes through a whole para-spiritual/ environmental extremist fase. Part of the reason he joins Dib on his second trip to Mem's planet is to dodge arrest for “acts of environmental terrorism" in several countries. At some point in that time frame Reg sires a daughter, Prisha, shortly after his baby sister, Wyn, is born. (Dib and Mabel struggle to have a child for years before Mabel agrees to use ML’s cloning facilities. It's a whole thing. Yes, Dib is VERY upset he missed the birth of his grandchild.)

(Wyn and Prisha grow up to be close friends. Prisha regularly guest stars on Wyn's reboot of "Probing the Membrane of Science" show.

Reg and Prisha's life research/ field work is a major reason why Dib's great(s) grandson, Dro's generation of humans can still breathe clean air/ drink fresh water on Earth in the distant future.)

Dib is most likely holding both his daughter and granddaughter in that drawing. He and Reg slowly repair their bond, to the whole family ‘s/ Zim's relief.

6. Prof Membrane is very much enjoying his retirement by living his lifelong dream of exploring/ researching the uncharted depths of the earth's oceans. Dib is proud of his dad and extremely happy for him, but at the same time is constantly nervous something will go wrong and personally checks in on the Prof's research team/ inspects the equipment involved in the expedition.

[Slowly but surely I will start answering asks again soon. Been working on other things. Sorry...]

Ooh!

Actually, yes! Floog and Helkite are very involved fathers.

After Floog and what few of his remaining underling scientists survived the "time thingy" fiasco, they eventually joined Mem's hive. Floog had long lost faith in the irken empire since he and his team were left to rot by Red and Purple, so the opportunity to help build an Irken settlement outside the rule of the empire was very enticing to Floog.

Currently, on top of assisting Zim with his PAK downgrading efforts/ research, Floog gives educated lessons on arithmetic and physics to his swarm and all the smeets/ members in Mem's hives [including the older smeets/ members. Floog takes pride in this ]

Floog always willingly volunteers to look after the swarms of his polycule if Tenn and Tak have additional matters to tend to. He is fascinated by his swarms and their development and yes, he loves them.

Helkite was designated the hive's official flying instructor long before he sired a swarm with Tak. He didn't initially take interest in parental duties. Skathe and Vicious usually looked after his younger siblings for Mem, but he quickly warmed up to the polycules' swarms. Helkite often drops in to take his smeets out flying (hiking for the smeets who don't have wings. This way, everyone is familiar with the surroundingterrain). Torte, Tak's fastest growing smeet is Helkite's greatest challenge as a pupil. Her body and wingspan ratio have not regulated yet, so gliding off cliffdides is the best she can manage most lessons. Helkite is impressed with her landing technique though.

Tak's smeets consider Helkite their "fun" coddle drone. They zoom in every direction with excitement whenever he drops in. Tak has settled into the disciplinarian/ protector/ provider role; which is all too necessary but but not always celebrated by her young swarm. She tries not to let it get to her.

Going to be courteous here and forewarn there are mentions and depictions of assault/ sexual assault ahead plus other dark subject metter. Not meant to be trivialized by any means.

Mem “The drone who forced my first swarm into existence was a slave driver stationed at one of the assembly lines within the outgoing shipment harbors on Callnowia.

He had zapped me from behind. The worst of the damage he dealt to me he dealt while I was unconscious… I thought he jabbed me in the spooch for the longest time. Never had the opportunity to memorize his features. The only thing I remember was his voice barking orders and his green eyes reflecting off the recently polished floor…

But it was so long ago and I was in a dizzy state. Maybe I just assume his eyes were green because so many of my first swarm have green eyes.

Late Miyuki had offered a reward for my capture after I fled the Viral tank. I assume he originally intended to hand me in for the reward monies, but decided violating me and humiliating me first would relieve the boredom of his guard duties. Slave Drivers are scum-drones. Only selfish meat heads strive to be encoded slave drivers."

Shortly after late Miyuki imperially shunned me and I fled the Viral Tank, I tried to hide out in the labyrinth of Callnowia’s conveyor belt shipping system. A slave labor force of Screw Heads stationed to operate one of the conveyor belts took pity on me. They agreed to house me in secret provided I do their laundry. With my only other option being captured and trialed for defective behavior, I had no choice but to accept their terms.

It's funny in retrospect; former Coordinator to the majestic Tallest Miyuki turned a slave to slaves. I really didn’t mind. Who was I to snub their generosity? I worked as a laundry drone, washing the armada's uniforms for decades as a cadet. The work came naturally and it was uplifting to watch the elders teach their smeets-er-- tads their native spoken and written tongue while I folded and patched the rags that had once been uniforms…

They were kinder to me than I could have ever hoped for or deserved. I wish I had thanked the Screw Head knot who took me in, but circumstances demanded that I flee the planet… and I did not want to incriminate anyone. I hope no one working the assembly line were reprimanded on my account. They suffered enough from Irken thoughtlessness. When the Screw Heads are finally liberated I will gladly take in the refugees and their tads.

The slave driver who attempted to turn me in must not have reported the incident out of embarrassment. How does a hardened soldier let a tiny defect slip past him after all? That's the only explanation I can come up with as to how I managed to flee so many light years away from the empire's boarders without anyone tracking the cargo ship I hijacked. Had to be lucky at some point.

If it's permissible , I would not like to speak of these memories further. It's been so long, but it's still so painful…

I love my first swarm. I prefer to think of them as a welcoming gift this planet gave me when I crashed on it. In no way will I dignify his involvement in the birth of my smeets with acknowledgment. To be honest, I only ever attended one fertile female education seminar in my life. I really had no idea what was wrong with me until the labor started. Then only did I draw the logical conclusion. Hopefully the Screw Heads found the drone that sired them crushed in one of the industrial packaging machines…

Let the revolution begin.” *silently tears up*

1. Hoola "Oh no. No no no no no no, not me."

Hoop "I would love to see it."

Hoola "Be silent."

Hoop "My tallest! I have a proposition for you! I think you'll be enticed!"

Hoola "NOOOOOOO"

2. As far as my au goes, none on record, but a few have come dangerously close.

3. I will have to update their designs; I haven't dedicated much attention to Wyn's smeets in a while.

Zim takes them to Mem's mystery planet when they're about 10 years old to live among their fellow Irkens. Unfortunately Uncle Sam starts poking his ass into Membrane Lab's business a little too much for comfort when the "Probing the Membrane of Science" reboot starts to become popular among international viewers, so to ensure their safety she allows them to move out.

Each display a mutation suppressed by the control brains; Polaris has the shiny/ iridescent skin mutation, Rigel has the 4 arm mutation, Yildun has the fuzzy mutation, Gacrux has the purple skin mutation, and Pollux has the natural wing mutation.

4. The merkins are thriving in earth's oceans (or they will be in the distant future, when Dib's distant grandson, Dro Membrane is alive and well.

Dro and many of his fellow colleagues and scores of good hearted volunteers dedicates large amounts of time, energy and resources into reviving earth's oceans, forests, rain forests, deserts and swamplands, despite the world leaders who spend all their time and energy sucking each other off and soaking up the tax dollars of us poopoo-peon average people from their cushy resorts on taraformed Mars (sorry, but somehow that's the future I predict for us.)

One of Dro's Merkin smeets, Chum, grew to be quite large, enormous in fact. Probably the largest Irken of all time (Irk's nitrogen seas were nowherenear as vast or deep as earth's h2o oceans. Chum swims in the deepest depths. His favorite meal is giant calamari. (Thank you @monsoonceroom for the merkin design ^^)

5. As for the rescued flesh vessel of Hitz, he was happily adopted by former tallest Purple, who continues to live in the hive on Mem's mystery planet.

Smeet Hitz is happy there. He imprinted on Purple almost instantly. Despite his freakishly large size, almost insatiable appetite and 10 eyes, the other smeets accept him as part of the swarm. He has close friends and enjoys lots of play time and emotional enrichment.

Unlike the original Hitz, who was conditioned from birth to be ruthless and heartless towards his shorter drones, Smeet Hitz is conditioned to be respectful and helpful.

Like his original self, Smeet Hitz tends to be obsessed with arithmetic, statistics and rules, but the adults of the hive, including Purple try to push his interests in positive and constructive directions. Smeet Hitz is also fascinated by armada ships and would love to pilot one his own one day. Purple is proud his adopted smeet believes strongly in fairness and justice. He wish such concepts meant more to him when he ruled.

It will serve the irken race well in the future. Smeet Hitz reminds him a lot of Red. He was the best gift the universe could have ever given Purple.

When the control brains officially update their vessels and debut as the "towering tallests" the only thing that really changes as far as how the empire operates and expands is the empire answers to the towering tallests directly... indefinitely as the towering tallests intend to rule the empire themselves for the rest of eternity.

Invaders, wherever they're assigned to invade, carry on their mission as assigned. Soldiers and battle pilots carry on their duties as normal. Service drones continue to serve. Their psychological grip on the irken race tightens in the hopes of crushing any future rebellion attempts by "lesser" species or from their irken underlings.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

As for Mem's funeral, Lard-Nar, 777, his offspring, Kao-Lam and every vortian orphan she ever took in attends her funeral. Lard-Narr personally sings her a traditional Vortian farewell song.

Her loss was a painful blow for the Resisty's morale, but it at the same encourages them to double down on their resistance efforts in the future. They hadn't expected an Irken to be such a dedicated ally.

Gir doesn't grow up to be the tallest or heaviest frylord, but he exceeded most everyone's expectations. He knows what taste good and he keeps up on his physical training, even if it's his least favorite part of his duties ^^.

Zim's final days were spent making sure the control brain system crashes beyond repair. He made sure to say his goodbyes to as many loved ones as possible.

Zim regrets nothing!

Dib lives an abnormally long lifetime because of the human compatible PAK he, Zim and Dipper designed. Not a long life by Irken standards, but a very long one by human standards. His death was brought on by old age, dementia and damage from many decades of smoking cigarettes (he attempted to quit several times, but it never stuck).

His career as a super scientist was successful even if it wasn't his passion. Dib continued to study the paranormal on earth as well as join Zim on several space adventures before his final hour.

Dib was never able to convince his "legitimate/ real science" colleagues that the paranormal and supernatural are legitimate fields of study, but he was respected among the younger generations of paranormal investigators/ enthusiasts.

Dib never opened an official school for paranormal studies, but with Dipper's help/ support they converted the Mystery Shack into a lecture hall on paranormal studies.

As for Zim, he also kept very busy. He never officially joined the resisty, but provided aid whenever he could. He smuggled lots of snacks, weapons/ tech and provisions for the resisty.

He spent a great deal of time and effort illegally downgrading PAKs for Irkens seeking to leave the empire as well as collecting "forbidden" data from set PAKs for future resistance efforts.

He helped construct a power grid for Mem's hive. He helped Gir open a speak easy cantina in Mem's hive as well. He upgraded Mini Moose and gave him to the resisty to build up their defenses. [Mini Moose was cool with this, as he was originally built from Vortian tech.]

Zim explored space for many years, hiding from the gaze of the control brains; stealing ships, tech and weapins. He also sold a great deal of set stolen tech.

He started a band, let the fame go to his head, got kicked out of the band. He enjoyed the company of a rotating list of lovers. He perfected his casserole recipe. Yeah. Zim lived life for sure.

Sizz-Lorr took Gir on as his apprentice and helped him become a Frylord in his own right. Sizz-Lorr has always been very vocal about service drone rights and the importance of stable snacking systems; which put him on this ice with the control brains for decades; part of the reason why Shloogor's is understaffed so often.

Tallest Purple/ the red brain does eventually agree to send Sizz-Lorr more help. When the control brains complete their big upgrade, however, many of the improvements Sizz-Lorr and the other frylords demand are denied. Investigations against him suggest Sizz-Lorr has been low key assisting the resisty and conquered labor forces for decades. Sizz-Lorr is put under strict observation and is eventually accused of conspiring against the empire and is imprisoned.

Gir is devastated by this, radicalizing him even more than he originally was...

So much I'm glossing over here. Wish I had time to go into depth, but this post could potentially be a novel long if I keep rambling.

Mem's hive is pretty diverse. By the time her third swarm is born Mem's mystery planet becomes a safe haven for any species ravaged by the Irken warpath. She and her swarms live alongside several species.

They take great measures to make sure their impact on the environment is minimal. The Armada is less likely to mark the planet for conquest if there is no civilization thriving there.

She made an agreement early on with Lard-Narr to shelter and feed Resisty refugees in exchange for any snacks and supplies they could spare.

With Sizz-Lorr's support, Gir eventually opens a speak easy cantina for Mem's hive to better feed the swarms and refugees.

Mem personally takes care of any orphan the Resisty hands over to her.

She has a hand full of Vortian bleeties (Vortian infants) and a Crystal-alien infant. Eventually she takes in several Screwheads and orphaned Urlars.

She struggled caring for the crystal child the most. He seemed to get weaker no matter what she tried to feed him. Luckily Poki had been a co-invader of his birth planet of Canceree (an accomplishment she later grew to regret). She knew exactly how to treat him back to health. He is thriving now and very close with his step mothers.

As for Purple, yes, someday, somewhere in the afterlife he reunites with Red.

In fact, their spirits gravitate towards each other effortlessly and almost immediately. Going to gloss over a lot of details, but have a glimpse into the future.

Purple "I missed you so much."

Red "I missed you too."

Purple "Where are we?"

Red "Valhalla; paradise of fallen warriors."

Purple "I'm no warrior."

Red "You went down fighting; You earned your welcome here. I still have to prove myself."

Purple "Prove yourself to who?"

Red "Torrn, Skorrn, and F'lorrn. They're coaching me."

Purple "They look upset."

Red"Oh, no. Trust me, they're happy for us."

Purple "Why put yourself through this?"

Red "For you. I wanted to be someone worthy of you when we reuinted."

Purple -laughs!-

[A long story for another day]

This is yet another side plot that I have yet to fully flesh out.

The exact details might change slightly when or if I ever turn this mess of an au into a coherent fic.

Rough outline

At some point in the distant future au, Purple ends up stranded on Mem's mystery planet during a coup organized by the control brains and executed by Purple's three high generals (each were promised a position as almighty tallest, but were denied when the upgraded control brains aka, the towering tallests seize total control.)

The Massive's communication officers accidentally discover the planet while following the warpath of operation impending doom III, officially launched by Purple on his first century jubilee that takes place in the begging of the 18YL au.

After a quick scan of the planet fails to detect any signs of civilization, Purple decides to lead a quick foot exploration of the surface. Partly to relieve boredom, partly to find out if the planet is worth claiming for the empire and partly to spite imperial medic Hoola, who continues to nag Purple about his unhealthy habits even though Hoola is moments away from retirement.

While exploring , his generals bash his head in from behind. They are chased off by a pack of native fauna predators before they are able to finish him off/ collect his PAK. They leave his body stranded there. His generals return to the Massive, declare a state of emergency and proceed to make a fake, half-assed attempt at a search and rescue mission.

They soon declare Purple dead and irretrievable for an honorable funeral. The Massive continues on the warpath and the towering tallests make their debut.

[Yeet, who was blindsided/ ditched right after Purple and his hiking party landed, of course recruits Gir and Hoola to help her lead a real search and rescue]

Purple, still quite alive, but beaten bloody limps his way across the planet’s wilderness where he runs into Zim and Mem's flying eyes (her winged smeets).

At first, Purple is held hostage below ground in Mem's hive. Zim with the help of Vortians, 777, Lard-Narr and Kao-Lam, downgrade Purple's PAK, against his will, but Purple is relieved when he realizes the downgrade finally severs the telepathic link he had with the control brains.

Mem does not give him a warm welcome at first. Mem is still very untrusting of tall drones and has no patience for Purple's spoiled, entitled behavior. He is a handful in the beginning, hardly a gracious guest.

Mem initially hates Purple and makes this fact very clear. To everyone's shock, she is downright cruel to him for a while. She won’t allow any of her smeets to interact with him. She refuses to give him any extra silk for warmth or to fashion cushions to support his spine or injured leg. She throws the food collected for him on the cave floor and laughs when he struggles to bend far enough to pick it up. She insults him constantly, viciously… but even she realizes she's out of line when her coldness finally breaks Purple's spirit and drives him to tears.

Real tears. A coddle drone knows what those look like.

Purple about the same age as Zim and her first swarm; practically a smeet from her perspective. And he may be a tallest no better than the rest of them, but he isn't the tallest who shunned her. Mem admits she shouldn’t hold Miyuki's betrayal against him. He's a rejected Irken too now; doomed to die without the protection and support of his fellow drones.

She learns to accept him as part of her hive and love him as part of her swarm.

Purple learns to love being apart of an independent Irken hive.

Thus is a system that doesn't value its laborers. The Irken empire has no use or tolerance for a drone unable or unwilling to serve it, no matter how many centuries of service they already dedicated.

Technically, retired drones ARE allowed to live their own lives in peace... for an additional 10 years, max. Depending on the health of the retired drone, they might pass away of natural causes before the scheduled expiration date.

A drone ready to retire manually submits their request to the red brain at the closest control brain hub. The life clock doesn't start the countdown until the red brain approves the retirement request. Once approved, the red brain sends a message stating you are officially de-encoded and relieved of duty to the retiree's communication device installed in their PAKs. A drone is never given an official email stating the countdown started or what have you. A drone can just.. feel it.

Lyr "Ten years? That's it? But you're still so full of life-"

Hoola "Ha! You should have seen me 500 years ago. Things are sliding downward pretty quickly for me."

Lyr "But I just met you. Now you're tellin' me your shitty boss brains won't even let you live long enough to come celebrate my 30th birthday?"

Hoola "Afraid so, but I appreciate the invite."

Lyr *sniff* "You're ok with this arrangement?"

Hoola "Don't have much say in the matter. Besides, I've lived an excruciatingly long life. Another decade alive is all I can stand without the drones I held dearest to me around. I'll make the best of it."

Lyr "You don't have anyone back home to spend your last days with or look after you if your health goes to shit?"

Hoola "I said I'll make the best of it."

Lyr "You can go where you please right, since you're honorably de-encoded?"

Hoola "Within reason."

Lyr "Come to earth then. You can live with me and my mums. They won't mind having an Irken around and I'll look after you."

Hoola "That's... an offor, but I couldn't impose."

Lyr "Yeah you could! At least think about it, please? I don't want to go back to Melbourne knowing my buggy grandpa might pass on before I get to say goodbye."

Hoola "Aw, smeetie, if I knew this would upset you to this extent I would have kept my mouth shut."

Poki "I ran into Zim by accident when I went searching for my missing blood blade team members.*

Prior to this, the last time I saw Zim was on conventia.*

Zim and I lived together for a while; a year or so. He's a pariah, so I had to house him in secret. She went by Xeem for for a while. That was a fun year.

Zim brought me to earth as a plus one for a human mate unification celebration being thrown for his favorite Dib-monkey. What did they call it? A wed-ding? We had to wear nice gowns and fancy lace gloves, but the bar was bottomless and the humans were an entertaining bunch, so I can't complain. Actually, that wed-ding celebration was one of the funnest nights of my life...

We parted ways shortly after that. Zim decided to stay behind on Earth for a while. He never said why... Something told me I had done something or said something wrong, but I had no idea what and I didn't want to risk the comradery between us to ask or argue.

I had to return to my post or risk getting in trouble for abandoning my encoded occupation.

I kept asking around for leads and diligently watched the news stream for any clues about my blade team. The second my pub manager approved of it, I took time off to start my search again. I eventually found my missing blood blade teammates on the far outskirts of the foodcourtia system. Turns out my ladied were being held captive by Resisty rouges.*

To make a long story short, I attempted to rescue them from the resisty ship, but I underestimated them. My ladies and I ended up crash landing on Mem's planet trying to shake them off our trail. My cruiser's point of impact was a twenty day march away from the others, but we eventually reuinted again.

That's when I met that glorious battlefield of a woman... wish I had known her centuries ago."

*Poki was on a competitive blood blade team with Tak, Tenn, Yeet and their blade-leader, Zee. They showed up for practice one season and the only other teammate not on the public MIA drone list was Yeet.

*Poki, at the time the events of the 18YL au begins, has been demoted from Commander to a service drone because of drunkenness on duty. They work at a shady pub on Conventia as a tap drone (bartender).

Poki's alcoholism began in her early days as an elite soldier under late Lich's reign. They suffered abuse and several traumatic experiences because of their superior co-invader, Ziss, during Operation Stealthy Doom (invaders were sent to enemy planets in pairs then) She became a Commander after operation SD during Miyuki's reign.

So far, the list of Irkens who take refuge on Mem's mystery planet are Tak, Tenn, Zee, Floog and Larb. Skoodge ends up stranded there a little while, but leaves with one of Mem's daughters, Skathe.

Ooh! Didn't answer the second part of the question.

Very rarely is a male tallest able to sire a swarm of his own. They have fertility issues too. (Sometimes they can't form a *sqwak. Others could, but their sqwak "lacks potency" or they're afraid their sqwak might be too long and literally impale a short drone. How attentive they are to their birthing drones depends on the tallest. Some barely interact with their birthing drones at all. They assign service drones and medical drones to tend to them. Others treated their birthing drones like a loving human husband would treat their wife and shower them with attention and perks.

*sqwak; a temporary, sharp-ended appendage that forms in irken males during mating seasons. Sqwaks break off after successfully penetraiting a females shmizz (a fleshy layer on the irken pelvic floor that forms a temporary uterus after being peirced by a sqwak.

Yes, if done improperly, mating for Irkens can be painful and cause death.

After Spork was eaten and the whole empire went into lock down, Red was a little surprised that he and Purple were summoned to Jugmentia for a second measuring that time around. Excitement quickly set in. They were locked into their personal quateres (A tiny apartment) on the Viral at the time, as the Massive was not officially launched and inhabitanted yet. There were forty or fifty other drones close to their height, but apparently not close enough.

On Jugmentia all finalist are measured separately. Red was THRILLED when he was informed he measured up to tallest stature. He was ignorant of any real challenges and responsibilities that comes along with being a tallest. He was just excited for the power, luxuries, fame and snacks. He and Purple made a pact to promote the other to a high rank and keep in touch, whichever of them was measured tallest.

He was very upset to find out he would have to fight Purple to the death for the title. The red brain initially refused Red's request to rule as one unit as his plea seemed to be based on pure emotional attachment, but luckily, Purple managed to present a "logical" argument, which was Red and Purple both lacked life experience and in the categories where Red's personal stats were subpar, Purple excelled and vice-versa. Therefore they could rule the empire better as a duo. The control brains reluctantly accepted the argument.

The recovery period and aftercare for the surgical limb/ spinal stretching/ lengthening process is shorter than any drone would care for. Their PAKs pump enough pain killers into their flesh vessels to make it bearable enough for them to live through the lengthening process and the first binding/ adorning of imperial robes. Recovery also involves a lot of deep tissue massages and stretching exercises.

Besides that, being tallest is a pretty sweet deal. Especially if you're a drone that likes power, lounging and attention.

It takes a few months of binding/ wardrobe changing sessions and conditioning before Red and Purple could move normally or feel natural in their formal robes. They looked damn good and tall on their public debut though.

It IS hard for a tallest to breathe in their robes. (head canon) Their spooches are compressed. But again, they always look sharp in public even if prolonged periods of wearing corsets/ hovor belts can cause all kinds of injuries and physical complications. Luckily for Irkens, they can intake small amounts of air through their eyes to compensate.

To become the tallest's personal advisor, you would just have to apply for the job online by sending the red brain your personal stats when he updates the public occupational listings. They're constantly updating, depending on the position, so you just have to keep checking. Many drones don't know this, but even if there are no available positions for a job you would like, you can still submit your stats/ request to be put on a waiting list for first review.

To become an imperial advisor requires jumping through the same hoops you would to earn any occupational promotion. If you have already been encoded as an "unskilled" service drone, your name may be shoved to the bottom of the potential hire list. BUT, it never hurts to apply. The empire has its flaws but at least it's pretty easy to find a job and the option to transfer out for a better one is there, provided you have no criminal record and you apply in time. Unemployment is almost nonexistent there.

If the red brain considers you a possible fit for the job you will be required to take a series of holo-visor tests at your nearest red control brain hub. There may be a number of hours of required VR training too. Sometimes the tallest won't bother, but for a position on the tallest's personal staff*, you may have to attend an in-person, face to face interview with the tallest before the red brain officially hires and encodes you. (*advisor, coordinator, imperial medic, imperial pak technician, personal frylord ect, ect...)

Don't be intimidated about applying if you're short. Tallests actually prefer to keep shorter drones on their personal staff. Surrounding themselves with short drones make them look taller by comparison during live streams.

As for the control brain's next major upgrade, it WILL eliminate the position of almighty tallest. Purple is dethroned/ disgraced and forced to go into hiding.

The Control Brains never intend to measure another tallest after him. They will move about freely and have full control over the empire AND all PAK wearing drones.

(unless a drone's PAK has been altered or modified to stay severed from the control brains telepathic stronghold.)

Their ultimate goal is and has been to recreate the Irken race as a pure hive-mind with unwavering obedience and no room for defective behavior. It was just a matter of expanding the control brains' own mental capacities/ capabilities enough to perpetually process SO much incoming data at once. It took time, but to them, worth the wait. ( Not ALL Irkens are on board with this new regime for obvious reasons.)

It's a sad day when Mem passes. (Excuse the quick/ sloppy linework. Too much detail needed, too little time/ skill.)

Mem eventually becomes the proud mother of a third swarm of 26. Unfortunately, the strain was too great for her squeedily spooch. Between all her smeets, descendants and refugees, she died the revered queen of a hive of over 200. Despite Hoola's efforts, she did not live long enough after the labor to name them.

With permission, Zim kept her PAK for research/ cross engineering purposes, provided he shared the information with the resisty. There was a lot of debate amongst the hive, Irken, human, vortian and other alike, concerning the proper/ respectful way to put her remains to rest.

It was decided she would be burned under the same tree Mem had hung and burned the bodies of their 7 fallen ill swarm mates centuries ago.

So many gathered to mourn her.

As much as it pained her to say goodbye, she had to leave, painful still, to say hello to Miyuki.

Mem is a reasonable drone. She knows if she had never been imperially shunned she would never had tasted real freedom or experienced the joy of motherhood.

Miyuki shows genuine remorse so Mem will eventually forgive her. Spork too, but it takes a while longer. She has some things to get off her chest first.

Forgot to mention when I initially posted this, the unravelers belong to @sketchydesertghost .

Tak "Where is your wife-human? She's supposed to be painting my likeness."

Gaz "Picking up our kid from foot-er soccer practice."

Tak "Ah. Your Isla makes me miss my Tenn."

Gaz "Dib will make sure you're back on the hideaway planet before your due day. How are you holding up?"

Tak "Shitty, if I'm using the term correctly. They tell you in the informational videos pregnancy is painful, but they also tell you it's impossible to prepare you for the task. Tenn seems to be adjusting better than me, mentally and physically. I'm confident she will survive the labor. Me, not so much. Even if I do she will be the better coddle drone."

Gaz "You'll do fine. I mean, I pull it off. I actually like being a mom. You have Mem and her hive to help you two out."

Tak "True. The males can take care of most of the dirty work. You humans should assign your males coddle drone duties. It worked for us Irkens until the smeetery system was put into place."

Gaz "We have to take things on a case by case basis with us humans."

Tak "Hold still" *grunts*

Gaz "You wouldn't leave a task so important to just any drone. I know you. You're too hands-on and you have too much pride."

Tak "Perhaps you do. Should my spooch completely fall out from under me and I DIE, I don't have much say in the matter, do I?"

Gaz "Don't think about that for now."

Tak "If anything were to happen to you and your wife, would you trust Dib to care for your offspring?"

Gaz "Definitely. Isla and I agreed to that years ago. Dib is a better "coddle drone" than I am. Don't tell him I said that."

Breakroom sketch, Mother's day/ New mom theme.

Originally was going to draw something to some dialogue involving Squee and his mother, but I didn't want to make myself sad before this shift.

If Mother's day brings up good memories and feelings, have a happy one. If not, well, try to get through it.

Motherhood is challenging, no matter the species.