No Forklifts Allowed

its 2024 i dont think i should have to pee just because i drank something

Okay gotta be the funniest post-debate tweet

You should never forget literally the best line in all of video games

Too many people in the reblogs saying this has to be fake. I need you to know this is absolutely 100% real and in the game and it’s not even the craziest thing in Metal Gear Solid 2

actually obsessed w the fact that bruce the hyena was an actual dog that was CGI’d to look more like a hyena instead of a green cgi man

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THIS WAS A DUDE IN A SUIT AND IT MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE SO THIS IS ACTUALLY VERY PLEASING TO HEAR

this is why “man in suit” was their first thought

Oh I do not like learning this fact today. I wish I never learned this at all. 

i LOVE the word decorum . like please! have some decorum ✋

u ever have on mutuals whos so deep in another fandom that u know absolutely zero about and they make posts that look like they speaking another language or some shit

i really appreciate the number of mutuals who are not in any of my fandoms sharing this post. its like a little hello nod as we pass each other in the hall

(via meanboysclub)

The last one

Also good on these people for taking the aggressively petty route instead of falsely registering their pets as service animals

I love how everyone intentionally interpreted this not as “your dog must be small” but “your dog must be in a bag”

“aww cute!! big doggies in ba-”

*cry-laughing as i hit the reblog button*

I’m going to point out that this sounds like the system working as intended bc if your dog is actually currently in a bag its not going to like, run off and bother other passengers or piss/shit where is not supposed to.

Like, yep. This works. If your dog’s well behaved enough to stay in a bag, THAT’s when it’s allowed on the subway.

That last comment was my EXACT thought.

#the narrative allowing them to (via @ltleflrt)

If you want to know how bad my ferritin levels are hitting me: I just tried reading a smut scene and got tachycardia.

Me.

The crucifix nail nipples editor 😂

Posts you will only ever see on Tumblr

Until someone steals it and puts it on TikTok over stolen Minecraft footage while AI reads it out.

Be fair! It might go up on YouTube Shorts!

where the fuck would we be without garlic honestly

Just a reminder that Vincent van Gogh did not eat yellow paint to make himself feel happy, he ate paint, and drank different chemicals because he was suicidal and this is why he was not allowed in his studio while having breakdowns. He also did not paint starry night and his other great works because he was depressed, he painted most of them while he was in recovery and demonstrated his hopefulness and love of the world through this. Most of his great works were painted from his room at a hospital. Van Gogh’s depression should not be glorified. His hope and effort toward a better life, as well as his recovery from depression should be glorified.

Item: magical amulet to protect from corrupting wifi

Asking price: $240

I can think of a really easy solution to this problem.

If the cat is preferring to be at someone else's house when you let them outside.... I'd say that cat is definitely choosing them over you.

Someone at my work recently found a roughly 7 month old intact male cat who is extremely friendly and has been hanging around her house more and more and more. They live near an extremely busy road. They're going to contact the local shelter and see what they need to do legally, but when there was no microchip I looked this person in the eye and said "Please welcome your new cat." Provided they don't find owners, and I'm hoping to everything they *don't*, he is going to live out the rest of his life as an indoor-only cat.

You've heard of somebody's flattering favourite being referred to as their "lapdog", someone aggressively protective being their beloved's "guard dog", and I have a suggestion of another canine companion dynamic: sheepdog. Someone who loves you and that's why they annoy and pester you to go do the things you were supposed to do, just for the joy of making you go into the direction you were supposed to be going. Has no chill and has to be actively given an order to let you chill. The dynamic of

'you can't make me" vs. "no, but I can annoy you until you do"