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#pride – @melaina-art on Tumblr

Melaina’s Art

@melaina-art

Melaina | She/They
https://linktr.ee/melaina.art
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garetthawke

I'll never forget my first pride.

I can't remember my actual age, but it was in the range of 10 to 13 I think. my parents had dragged me to a Pride festival, and walked across the street from the main event, across where the lines were drawn, to where a sea of people in red shirts that read "god has a better way" tried to drown out the celebration with speakers blasting christian music, and shouting and loud praying.

the leaders pulled all us kids to the side and gave us the spiel. they told us how the rainbow had been stolen from us, and that these people were tricked by the devil and just needed prayer, but that if we didn't save them, they were going to hell.

I rolled my eyes because I already didn't believe in god, and although I barely knew what being gay was, I knew my parents were usually on the Wrong side of things, and I shouldn't be siding with them.

"We aren't allowed over there if we're wearing the red shirts," the leaders told us, "so we're sending people over in secret without them so you can pass out tracts and pray for people. they won't talk to us, but they'll talk to the kids. does anyone want to volunteer?"

the people in red shirts disgusted me. the people on the other side of the line were cheering and having fun. I raised my hand.

we were supposed to go in groups with young adults, to make sure we were doing what we were supposed to be. I wandered off the minute I could and stood nervously at the edge of a crowd, watching on as people went by, happy and unbothered by the protests across the street. I felt a little pride myself in tricking the protestors into giving up a witness spot to me, when I was going to smile on and think profanities at god instead.

there was an older woman standing outside the crowd too. she asked if I was here with anyone, a girlfriend maybe? I said no, my parents were across the street. she nodded, and said she was here with her kid. a daughter, that she came to support, but couldn't keep up with in the crowd.

I almost cried. I told her how amazing that was, because I couldn't imagine my mother showing support like that to me over anything, much less something as serious as Being Gay. I imagined if I was gay, and at a pride event just like now, but this time because I Belong.

I knew automatically that my mother, without a doubt, would still be in the same place, across the street.

I got hungry after a bit, and tried to find a good food truck. I had a little money and I was unused to being on my own like this, but I didn't want to go back to the Other Side. I knew now without a shadow of a doubt, this was the Good side and that was the Bad side.

as I was eating the gyro I got, there was a stream of red shirted protestors trickling through; I had reached the end of the boundaries, and the protestors were allowed in here. I backed up a little, spotting my dad among them. I didn't want him to tell me to go back.

there was a line of women closing ranks around the Pride attendees, separating them from the protesters as they walked through. they spread their arms out and told every person the protesters spoke to that they were not obligated to respond, they could walk away and not engage.

my dad spotted me back, and made a beeline over. he couldn't cross over because a butch lesbian stood between us. I didn't know what those words meant, but I never forgot the buttons she was wearing.

he tried to tell me that it was time to go. "you're not obligated to speak to him," the butch said, cutting him off and edging further between us. I smiled at her, a little in wonderment. no one had ever told me that I didn't have to speak to my parents, or do anything other than blindly obey them. I watched my dad get held behind a line by a woman half his height, with no intention on letting him get to me, and I smiled and walked away.

I didn't have a clue who I was then, and I wouldn't for a good few years to come. but I never forgot the supportive mother, who symbolized to me everything a mother should be, that mine, for all her religious self righteousness, would never hold a candle to. I never forgot that she was the person I wanted to be, and my mother was the person I did not want to be.

I never forgot the butch who stood between me and my dad, and for the first time ever, put the idea in my head that I was ALLOWED to make my own choices in my beliefs, and made me feel protected in a way I hadn't known I needed.

the image of her standing between me and my dad, being a physical barrier to protect me against any potential threat, that inspired the image of who I admired and wanted to become. it inspired the version of me who could stand up to my dad - to the point that I could hold my ground and educate him enough that over a decade later, he walked side by side with me at a pride festival, with no intent of witnessing to or condemning anybody.

pride month may be over, but the impact this month and these events can have is so damn important. I became who I am because of two people I met at a pride festival. I'll never forget.

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“[…] I think those people are fucking assholes. Some people trying to tell you who you can love and who you can fuck, that’s none of their fucking business. And the fact that they try to strike fear into people to make them change is the worst, most cowardly thing that you could do. So to those people, I say fuck you, come at me.”

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I am absolutley disgusted. They blame Islam but these type of “christians” are just as bad as the terrorists. I’m so fucking angry

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melaina-art

I'm repulsed. We continue to talk about Muslim extremists but these Christians are just as bad. They are setting the same fucking example, goddammit, peole. These people he shot were complex, loved, and worthy of love people, worthy of acceptance. When will we get it through our heads that on the off chance there's a God, he would love all of us for exactly who we are. God fucking dammit I'm so fucking angry I can't take this.

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Pray For Orlando

What happened in Orlando was a massacre and I just can’t wrap my head around that hate. As part of the Lgbt+ community, simply as a human being, I’m terrified and astonished. I’ve never been bullied for my sexuality but to hear about people who are killed for it. I can’t fathom the hate that people have for fellow humans for something that doesn’t affect them at all. Why is loving someone of the same gender something to be hated? Why does that hate given so easily to people who just want to love who they want to love? I have lost faith in humanity. I don’t understand, why it’s such a big deal. You’re allowed, you are allowed to love who ever you want. It’s scary but we need to stand together we need to stop hate crimes like these that make absolutely not sense at all. People need to get over this idea that they’re allowed to control other people because of their faith, their ideals, their opinions, because they’re not and they’re absolutely not allowed to end someone else’s life. I just can’t stand this. WE as a part of the LGBT+ community, are beautiful, strong, and worthy of love. WE have to stand together against crimes like this.

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