that’s just my face

He’s safe now. He has his emotional support husband 💕

(Tumblrs resolution sucks, click on these to see them less blurry! )

tbh I think it would be funny if pete finds out what happened to lucius and is just like omg. babe. I am so happy for you that sounds amazing

'cause in his mind it's the full Blackbeard Experience

Ok, I couldn’t not write this into a ficlet lol.

Black Pete imagined the fiercest of battles when his crew (okay, Stede's crew, but also his, Pete was basically a leader now) would retake the Revenge. He would vault over the side of the ship with dramatic flare, take out enemy pirates left and right, corner Blackbeard somewhere on the ship where there's a corner, and demand his boyfriend back. And Blackbeard would say something like, "Wow, Pete, I am so impressed by how you took out all my men and cornered me here in this corner-y area, Lucius is over there, and also you're my new first mate because Izzy kinda low-key sucks?" And Pete would ask for time to think about it, and then after waiting a few days (okay minutes, he'd wait minutes) he would graciously accept.

So it was a bit of a jolt to his system when a waterlogged Lucius was hauled on boat the dinghy with the rest of the crew minutes after they set off from the island.

Lucius gasped and sputtered and coughed up a goldfish, which Buttons gleefully and immediately popped into his mouth.

"Lucius!" Stede scolded. "It's hardly the right time to be going for a swim, is it? We barely have enough room as it is."

"Oh god," was all Lucius could reply.

"What were you doing in the ocean, babe?" Black Pete asked, not not disappointed that his rescue mission was called off.

"Gee, I don't know, Stede's crazy boyfriend pushed me overboard!"

Various members of the grew gasped, and Stede said, "I don't have a boyfriend! Who is he talking about?" and then the crew all together yelled, "BLACKBEARD," and Stede said, "Oh."

Black Pete crossed his arms. "You're saying Blackbeard tried to kill you? No way."

"Yes way," Lucius sat up and brushed seaweed off his ugly tattered striped shirt. "I was being friendly and trying to get him to talk about his feelings and he tried to murder me!"

Everyone gasped again, followed by Stede saying, "Well, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, Lucius, and anyways it's a good idea to perform random swim checks..."

"That's so fucking awesome! Babe, I can't believe it!" Pete grabbed Lucius by the shirt and shook him a bit.

"What do you mean, awesome? I could've died!"

"Yeah, but like... you could've died... by Blackbeard's hand, babe! You got the full Blackbeard experience!"

There was silence in the dinghy as everyone processed this.

"Pete, what happened to, 'I'm not used to your death?'"

"Well, that was the first time, gotta get used to it sometime, babe. And it was Blackbeard! Did he mention me? Did he mention me while he threw you overboard?"

Lucius sighed and put his hand on his head. "No, Pete, he was a little busy trying to drown me."

Pete shrugged. "Well that's too bad, but still, I'm so happy for you! And a little jealous? What was it like?"

"To be almost murdered by Blackbeard?"

"Yes, to be almost murdered by the most awesome pirate ever known!"

Lucius sighed a bit. He was in love with an idiot. He could get sympathy later. Maybe. From someone with a bit more emotional intelligence. Although, looking around, he might have been out of luck on that front.

"I guess it was, fine? I haven't been pushed off a ship before."

"And you survived! Blackbeard tried to kill you, and you live!"

"Pretty badass!" Roach piped in.

"I stabbed Blackbeard once," Stede muttered to himself.

The overloaded dinghy lurched its way towards its destiny, one pair of lovers reunited already.

Never getting over Stede fighting against his own selfishness even after becoming a pirate even after years of acquiescence after a lifetime of trying and failing to fit himself in the tiny box society told him was his destiny he still tries to give away his treasure orange because it’s Jim’s land he still tells Ed to Robin Hood his guilt loot he still saves his entire fuckin crew when he believes they are at least partially responsible for the death of the only person he’s ever really loved

Stede is the romantic and platonic ideal of a hero because he’s inherently a good person but he’s allowed to have flaws not just quirks but genuine flaws that make him human

It’s really no stretch to understand why Ed fell so hard so fast

realizing that um. the groom? in that wedding ed crashed? where he got the wedding cake toppers?

his suit is literally....... orange and gold. with fish scales.

i just think that's. interesting. especially because the wedding cake topper does not have this detailing.

meaning that ed noticed this Fine Fabric and it stuck in his mind as being stede-like. and his subconscious uses it to construct his vision of stede.

this is also where i point out (perhaps needlessly) that... this is a wedding suit. ed, on the verge of death, imagines his love swimming towards him, yes. but more specifically... his groom.

It's another sleepy, cuddly moment of happiness ❤

Had a hankerin' to see Ed get pampered and fussed over by the crew, so wrote this little scene. Bon appétit, get loved nerd

--

It happened, Ed thought, because he still wasn’t used to going without the gloves.

He’d been helping the crew run the rigging, and he’d assumed he’d be fine, estimating based on having some sort of cover on his hands, and he’d fucked up and wound up with a rope burn down his palm.

He grit his teeth and put up with it, only allowing himself to gingerly shake his hand and examine the injury once the job was done. “Shitfuck,” he mumbled to himself as he looked at the blood pooling in his palm.

“What’s that? Rope burn?” Frenchie looked at Ed’s hand over his shoulder, and then waved his hand to get Roach’s attention. “Oy! We’ve got a rope burn!”

Ed jumped a mile at a hand on his arm, and turned to see Archie pointing him to go sit down on the railing.

“No, no, that’s not-” Ed cleared his throat, instinctually stuffing his injured hand in his pocket. “It’s just a rope burn.”

“Yeah, and Jim got a rope burn last week, and they let us take care of them,” Archie said. “You think you’re tougher than them? You wanna say that to their face?”

“Guess not.” Ed allowed himself to be steered towards the railing, and his face burned when the crew gathered around to gawk at his injured hand. Olu winced sympathetically, and Pete tried to pretend he’d seen worse even as he turned a bit green.

“Might need to amputate it,” Pete said.

“Fuck no!” Ed hid his hand behind his back. “It’s barely bleeding, man.”

“Your loss,” Pete shrugged. “I could make you a really cool wooden hand. Probably cooler than Spanish Jackie’s, even.”

“I swear to God, babe,” Lucius hissed, “you’ve got to stop telling people we need to cut their limbs off.”

“Who’s got the rope burn?” That was Roach, pushing through the crowd with a bowl of water in hand and a roll of bandages tucked beneath his elbow. Ed’s face went all hot but Roach didn’t even say a fucking thing, didn’t even question that Ed deserved to be sitting there getting fussed over. “Yowch, that’s a good one. Might need to amputate.”

Ed barely had enough time to gawk open-mouthed at him, considering making a run for it, before Roach laughed playfully.

“You should’ve seen your face,” he chuckled as he held out a hand, waiting for Ed to offer his injured hand up for examination.

Ed gritted his teeth as Roach cleaned the burn with a wet cloth, accompanied by the crew hissing sympathetically.

“Why,” Ed started, before he got a little overwhelmed by everyone continuing to fuss over him like he was a sick kitten and went back to staring sheepishly at the ground.

“Because no one deserves to just sit around and be in pain when we could help,” Olu said, as if that made the most sense in the world. “Why wouldn’t we help? There’s no need for you to just go off and bleed alone somewhere.”

“I mean…” Ed watched as Roach wrapped his hand in a neat bandage. “That’s just life though, isn’t it?”

Archie grinned at him. “Not our life.”

“We’d do the same for any of us,” Frenchie told him reasonably. “Besides, we don’t want you to die, man. Who’d tell the best ghost stories then?”

“And who’d let us know when there’s a storm coming?” Olu added.

Fang smiled at him. “And who would help me fish?”

When Stede stepped out on deck to see what the commotion was about, it was to everyone still standing around Ed, reminding him how he should be sure not to get the dressing on his hand wet, or pick up anything too heavy with that hand, and to be careful to keep it clean. “What’s going on here?”

“Oh, hey, Cap,” Roach said. “Ed got a rope burn.”

Ed kind of lamely held out his injured hand, which still seemed comically disproportionate to the big deal everyone was making out of it. “It’s just a rope burn.”

“Ah.” Stede smiled at Ed’s befuddled expression. “And he’s getting the same treatment Jim got when they got a rope burn last week, I take it?”

Ed ran a finger over the bandages on his hand, only half-listening as they started in with embellishing the story (by the time they finished, Ed had apparently pushed through despite the burn for twenty full minutes, and if you looked, half the rigging was blood-stained). It actually felt a little nice to be fussed over, he thought. He could get used to it.

idc still obsessed with the genre of reunion fic that’s Ed sadangrily seducing Stede into fucking him and Stede loving him so hard (not a euphemism) it fixes him

since I have had some requests,

'Ed is problematic' I mean yes obviously

'Izzy is problematic' Little man's a mess

'Stede Bonnet is problematic' Girl that's just Gilderoy Lockhart

But consider... the crew's worst crime

Frenchie: wanted to TURN A MAN'S BACK INTO A TABLE. What the hell Frenchie? Also... became first mate and Captain for NO reason. Pretty privilege is real.

Archie: Seduced Jim ON TOP OF AN UNCONSCIOUS MAN'S CUT OFF, ROTTING LEG. ??? Are you ok Archie.

Jim: Fully went with it because fuck Izzy and fuck his leg. Fuck men, disregard their feelings, look at Archie's boobs instead.

Spanish Jackie: IDK she's flawless. Kill more husbands, cut off more noses, I don't even care. Kill me too, the fuck. It's her world we're all just in it.

The Swede: showing up to Izzy's funeral with his pubes out. The gun show as well but who goes to a funeral with full bush? Like... it's 1720 have some decorum

Roach: Is the cook AND the surgeon but I never see him do either of those things. People are constantly starving, bleeding out, he's just there chilling smoking a cigarette butt

Fang: Keeps gaining pets but THE PETS ALL DISAPPEAR? Where's the goat Fang. WHERE'S THE GOAT. YOU'RE HUGGING THEM TOO HARD FANG.

Lucius: Wearing modern day flared jeans because Nathan Foad bought a pair at Urban Outfitters and they looked so good he refused to take them off. Why, Nathan? This is a crime

Innocent of all charges:

Zheng: A queen we mere mortals shouldn't judge

Oluwande: A baby face isn't a crime as far as I know

Buttons: He just wanted to be a seagull. Does he cannibalize other seagulls now??

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.

All I'll say on the Con interview is that the more Izzy does what he does in season 1 for love the less it's standard pirate behavior and the more it's full blown fatal attraction shit. Me assuming it's not love was always me giving Izzy the benefit of the doubt but if Con wants to confirm the Izcel theory he can go right ahead, my man would feel right at home on a chan board

con saying that izzy tried to kill stede right in front of ed two times out of love and desire to protect ed is not actually a W for team "izzy is tragic and sympathetic bc he's in unrequited love" and in fact just makes him look worse and more unhinged and deranged. that being said if con wants to say things that izzy woobifiers think is a W i really couldnt care less bc at the end of the day con is not a writer for the show and the writers handed those izzy fans the biggest L of all time (killing izzy off bc it furthered ed's story and having izzy apologize on his deathbed for being horrible to ed for years)

Every Ed Teach Scene (7a/?)

When bad pirates go bad. A few set shots from that day that Blackbeard had a real tanty and decided go dark on Stede’s cabin. I have to admit I always find it hard to vandalize a perfectly nice set but this is what one must do when method dressing! Last two pics show Stede’s dedicated handiwork when trying to make things all nice again. #piratelove

Source: Megan Vertelle's IG stories and post

“they killed the suicidal character!”

babes, ed’s fine! you gotta finish ep 3!

2.01 / 2.08

That was better. Just need to work on your mean voice.

Sometimes you got to grab your Goth and RUN!