AFFC is so funny jaime and cersei spend all of about two months together before immediately beginning scheming and plotting to get rid of the other. oh house lannister never change

No words can describe how it felt to read the JaimeCersei chapters in AFFC and realize that They Do Not Like Each Other. Both of them, going on and on about how they're each other's half and two bodies one and soul and they have their first conversation, and it's so obvious they don't like each other. They never have any idea what the other is talking about, don't trust the other, they don't even laugh at the same things.

It's like they're both teenagers in their first ever relationship, it's not really built on familiarity, mutual respect, and love, but proximity, attraction, and romantic ideals. And you go out with your highschool boyfriend and you have fun because it's fun to have a boyfriend and you cry when he breaks up with you but by the time you're in college you forget what his last name was, the classes you shared with him and that's fine.

But Jaime and Cersei don't do that. Their bodies grow up, but they don't. And they stay in a juvenile relationship that was never meant to exist, and wonder why they're so unhappy all the time.

we need to discuss the severity of this guy’s kingslaying addiction. imagine if bran does end up king in the books too im rooting for it just for the bit of this shit

joff and jam the comedic duo you could’ve been

jaime‘s kingsguard curriculum vitae is gonna be so funny at the end of it all. ‘served under four kings and one queen. cuckholded one of them with the other. fathered two of them. killed two of them. all died under his watch.’

honestly hilarious that the lannister siblings are all history freaks in different direction. cersei rolls her eyes that jaime doesn't know what the second blackfyre rebellion was about while he rattles off the tale of ser luthor pisseryon of daeron i's kingsguard, who served for all of seven moons before he died shitting himself en route to dorne. meanwhile tyrion's sitting in the corner reading maester leomore's neo-myrxist critique of archmaester hargreave's account of the Storming of the Dragonpit (The Warrior Himself: Examining the Dying of the Dragons in the Light of the Seven) and not paying attention to it one bit because he’s moping about how everyone in kings landing hates him, the imp, because he’s ugly and rich, and not because he’s a feudal overlord who is fundamentally detached from the immediate concerns of his starving subjects

people talk about cersei immediately propositioning ned when he confronts her but we need to talk about jaime consistently implying that anyone who captures him thinks he’s hot and wants to fuck him. lannister twin delusion moments. the mind that asks her worst enemy if he wants to cheat on his wife with her while he’s accusing her of murder is the mind that tells robb it’s gay to drag a male prisoner around with you during a war

the lannister twins have such team rocket energy in AGOT i dont even know if i can explain it. them showing up in their little matching outfits openly beefing with children & stealing their pets… their personalities even match up

the ‘noooo jaime doesn’t DESERVE redemption’ argument is silly but also. i will be pissed if cersei dies terrified and pleading with her brother not to murder her, and then he goes off to be some big hero.

i will also be pissed if the valonquar is suddenly not jaime and is some rando/loras/sandor instead

i will also be pissed if jaime’s murder of cersei is portrayed as a big heroic sacrifice moment where he saves millions in the process

succession but Lannisters is a fun concept but realistically it could not work bc only Cersei and Tyrion would be competing and that would be pointless anyway cos Tywin would already have left it all to Jaime (who has to be dragged kicking and screaming into any given boardroom)

tywin: I’m drawing up my will and leaving everything to y-

jaime:

mirror image

a jaimecat marriage would have saved the realm. i have no way of proving this claim ull just have to trust me on this one

westeros in the au where jaime just accidentally called cat mommy during sex in their bedroom at casterly rock instead of heading to his danganronpa style execution by her vengeful zombie terrorist version in the middle of the war-torn hellscape that we call the riverlands

here’s the problem, right.

a large swathe of the fandom views cersei’s obsessive, selfish love for jaime as depraved, pathetic, and malicious.

but a large swathe of the fandom also views jaime’s obsessive, selfish love for cersei as blameless (‘he was groomed/cersei has manipulated him from day 1/her evil ‘tainted’ him’), chivalrous (‘jaime would never harm cersei, and if he did, it would be her goading him into it’) and genuinely heartwrenching.

are we seeing the problem here?

sorry but Jaime Lannister’s characterisation is so funny to me. yes I tried to kill your eight year old but I draw the line at paying people to do my killing for me. you better believe if I want a third grader dead I will do the child murder myself. preferably with a sword so I can look him in the eye while he dies by my blade

bran’s aspirations for knighthood and the kingsguard specifically and how familiar he is with their stories and how it was always music to his ears and how he romanticizes them and how it is reiterated later in his chapters that those dreams were crushed due to him being crippled is one of my favorite tragedies in the series. obsessed that he was robbed of his dreams by the man that became as vile as he is primarily because of his experience and disillusionment with those same heroes and the moral and ethical frameworks they exist within. i also like it in terms of emotional weight and how viscerally terrible it makes jaime’s act. like… he was the one that killed the boy this time. he killed the boy that “wanted to be ser arthur dayne.” i love the cyclical nature of it all.