Of Christmas Lights & Car Chases
Summary: In which Peter gets tangled up in some Christmas lights when he’s trying to stop a car chase.
Word Count: 967
Genre: whump, fluff, humor
A/N: Merry Christmas!! 🎄 Thank you @whumphoarder for beta reading and brainstorming with me!
Link to read on Ao3
Buildings blur by as Peter rapidly web-slings, trying to keep up with the police cars in hot pursuit of the speeding criminals below. He’s been at this for almost five minutes now and the bad guys still have yet to show any signs of giving up.
“I believe they’re heading towards the Brooklyn Bridge, Peter. Take this next left and you might be able to cut them off at the intersection,” Karen supplies in his ear as a map of the block he’s on pops up on the side of his HUD.
“Thanks, Karen!” Peter says with a grin. He lets go of the web and twists in the air before shooting off another web at the closest building down the next street.
He swings as quickly as he can, arms pumping almost painfully at this point. “Man, I can’t believe these guys robbed a toy store days away from Christmas,” he complains.
Peter releases his web and free-falls for a few seconds, the street below rushing up to him before he shoots another web at the last second and swings in between a line of cars at a stoplight, earning a few displeased honks in return.
“Incoming call from Tony Stark,” Karen suddenly announces. “Shall I answer it?”
“A little busy here, Karen,” Peter responds, brows pulling together in concentration as he twists in the air, narrowly avoiding hitting a street vendor’s sign as he swings lower to the ground.
But of course, she answers the call anyways, all thanks to Tony’s override programming.
Peter rolls his eyes goodnaturedly as the call connects. “Hey, Tony.”
“Hey, kiddo. Listen, I’m trying to plan out the menu for the Christmas party. What are your thoughts on lobster?” Tony asks.
“Uh, well I’m not sure-”
“Or should we have it all be kid-friendly food since we got Morgan, you—obviously, and Clint’s kids? Last time I checked they’re all on the RSVP list, so-”
Peter glances at the map on the side of his HUD, seeing the blue and red dots resembling the cops and robber’s cars are just about at the intersection up ahead. Shooting another web off at the closest building, Peter swings up, then runs along the side of the building. ‘Uh, this isn’t really a good time right now. Can I call you back?”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“You know, just trying to stop a car chase,” Peter answers with a grunt as he leaps off the building and shoots off another web.
“Ooh details! I never get any action anymore. I’m just an old, boring retired man now and the most exciting thing I have going for me is planning a Christmas party for fifty-or-so people.”
Peter huffs out a breathy laugh at that, but his smile fades when he sees that the robber’s car is now going in a totally different direction, away from the intersection. They must have quickly turned down another street in a last ditch effort to shake the police off their tail.
“They’re getting away, Peter,” Karen cautious.
Groaning in frustration, he swings sharply to the left, quickly heading in the direction of the red and blue dots on his screen.
“They’re getting away? A little off your game, web-head?” Tony asks in a light, teasing tone.
Apparently so, Peter thinks to himself, gritting his teeth. “Nope! I’m all good here! Right as rain!”
“So what did these guys do anyway?” Tony asks.
“Robbed a toy store.”
Tony tsks his tongue. “Grinches.”
“Yeah, I can’t believe that they’d-” Peter cuts off when his spider-sense suddenly flares up at the back of his head, sending chills down his neck and spine.
But it’s not quick enough to warn him.
In a split second, Peter feels himself slam into something, a startled gasp escaping from his mouth as he feels himself fall. Everything blurs together, the street below rushing up to meet him at an alarming speed. Before he has any time to react, something tightens painfully around him and he’s jerked to an abrupt stop.
Peter cracks open his eyes, seeing that he’s dangling almost thirty feet in the air above the busy street full of people and honking cars. He cranes his neck as he looks down at himself, only to see that he’s caught in a long strand of Christmas lights.
“Uhh... can I call you back?”
“Why?”
“Uh, I’m just a little... tangled up at the moment.”
“Tangled up...?”
...
Three days later, Peter is sitting at the dining room table at the Stark’s Christmas party surrounded by Tony, Rhodey, and Happy, while everyone else mingles out in the living room.
Rhodey holds up a newspaper from the Daily Bugle, featuring a photo of Spider-Man dangling in the air by a strand of Christmas lights while the firefighters try to untangle him. But it's not the photo that gets to Peter. It’s the heading—“Spider-Man Get’s Lit for Christmas.”
“So, the fire department had to get you down, huh?” Rhodey asks with an amused grin.
Peter heaves out a sigh. “Yup.”
Rhodey chuckles, shaking his head. “Only you, Peter...”
The three men laugh and Peter can feel his cheeks burn even more. He almost wishes that he’d skipped out on the party, already knowing this relentless teasing was bound to happen. Bad enough Tony’s been sending him pictures and gifs of him tangled up in those lights these past few days, all of which have gone viral.
“I guess you go all out for the holidays, huh, kiddo?” Tony says with a grin, nudging his arm lightly.
Peter rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his Grinch punch, wondering if it's the bitter taste that’s making him a little grouchy.
He really hopes Jameson gets coal in his stocking this year for posting that article.