The Adventure Zone is getting me through work nowadays.

signs as The Adventure Zone quotes

aries: i very flirtatiously hit it with my warhammer

taurus:  and instead of using castor sugar like i normally would, i went with uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰ splenda

gemini:  PERCEPTION CHECK i want to see if he wet his pants

cancer:  no dogs are allowed on the moon. they just run right off the goddamn thing

leo: “the second ruffian –” “give them names.” “ –……..craigory”

virgo:  it covers all of his essential, uh, oils, but it does say “juicy” where his butt would be

libra: “and when i take my hand away, i’ve stuck a ‘kick me’ sign on his back” ”i kick him”

scorpio:  i need to do a check to see if him being on fire gives me the idea for spicy food

saggitarius:  somewhere in the distance, ludacris smiles

capricorn: “you run up and tear the box open, it explodes, you die. no, you tear the box open, it DOESN’T explode, you DON’T die –” “i’m fine either way.”

aquarius: abracafuck you!

pisces: the three of you walk into this room singing showtunes, and everyone inside this building looks at you, and kills you

the realization that taako is the manifestation of “steal everything your gay little hands can carry” just changed my life

taako is a holy sweet soul who wouldnt even steal from an FDIC-protected bank

taako stole the boots off Merle’s dead cousin, stole all the valuables off an entire train including those of a little boy, and duped fantasy costco out of 59,100 gold pieces

recent taakos 

taz aesthetics;

leon: put the token in the machine

taako:

So like… when’s the Killin’ It With Killian spin off coming out because I need it

earth-dad:

best boy