went on the most insane grindr date of my life last night hold on
>be me
>guy whose profile says he’s 22 hits me up
>bio says he’s looking for a dude to make out with on a helicopter
>little weird but ok
>like 2 messages into the conversation he brings up the fact that he’s super rich
>must think i was born yesterday
>clearly a human and not a bot tho
>bored so i keep talking to him
>adds me on snap
>decent snap score
>story basically just rich guy flexing
>still probably fake
>asks me to come to his hotel
>really swanky one that i’ve heard of, obv never stayed there
>says he’ll call me an uber
>10% chance he’s legit
>90% chance i’m getting murdered
>win win so i decide to go
>get there, knock on door
>dude in pictures opens it
>absolutely shocked
>immediate lights a joint in the room without opening a window
>”i’ll just pay the cleaning fee it’s whatever”
>starts telling me about different plastic surgery techniques and all the ones he plans on getting
>not insecure, just thinks they rule
>there’s a stack of cash on the desk that’s more money than i’ve seen in one place before
>like 5k just sitting there
>we talk a little, eventually ask him why the fuck hes so rich
>this whole time he’s watching videos of plastic surgery being performed
>tells me he invested some money his parents gave him in hs and got lucky
>no job, owns a nice apt
>pretty much all he does is have sex with guys
>tells me he literally flew here to fuck a dude
>”haha check out how they’re sanding down this bone”
>offers to pay for laser treatment for my scars
>say no because there’s no way i can say yes
>kinda like them anyways
>have sex
>he orders a fuckton of food from an italian place
>”idk why i got all this i’m lactose intolerant”
>tells me at length abt how iceberg lettuce shouldn’t exist
>eats a plate of mozzarella sticks and falls asleep
>like meeting a modern day dorian grey
