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#iwtv – @marnz on Tumblr
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take a hike

@marnz / marnz.tumblr.com

J. she/they, 30s, pnw. also known as myownremedy on ao3.
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userarmand

It's a title that he has given himself, or has been given to him, but he's never felt it. I don't think he's ever really wanted it or I don't think it gives him happiness. He would much rather have a maître in Louis and I think that goes back to his other previous partners […] or people that he's had in his life. But here that’s his cloak, that's his kind of mask. [At the] end of episode four [Louis] calls him Arun for the first time and for Armand in that moment that’s Louis seeing Armand for the child that he is, for the innocent that he is, and that’s what makes Armand melt […] That’s a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to do this alone because he’s been doing this alone for so long, maintaining power, maintaining structure, maintaining the coven, and now Louis [has] said with that phrase, I can share that burden with you, even better I can take it from you, I can hold it. There are the sexual dynamics in that as well, and that’s the submissive elements to it. It’s protection and I feel that he kind of sees Louis as his protector, but it’s difficult because he wants to give that control but wants to also control Louis [...] but you can’t have both and that’s his downfall. | Assad Zaman

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sentientsky

greetings, beloved. i have just returned from my visit to the office of the psychiatrist you picked out. don’t look at me like that, daniel, it went fine. everything is fine. we’re all fine. why is your eye twitching, beloved? regardless, after she attempted to diagnose me with several disturbances of the mind, i promptly made her aware of the fact that her husband intends to leave her for the clinic’s receptionist. it was with very little effort that i was able to induce weeping. before long, i, i was the one behind the desk. are you not proud of me, my darling? for, i was maître once more. maître of mental health. beloved you cannot be upset. stop pinching the bridge of your nose. no. no remove your head from your hands. look, my love, i made her pay me a sum of one hundred and fifty dollars for the hour. i can buy more robux now, daniel. isn’t this delightful

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As there was for me, the intense pleasure I’ve never been able to account for, that can’t be accounted for mechanically; the pleasure of service, I’ve sometimes thought, or more darkly the pleasure of being used, the exhilaration of being made an object that had been lacking in sex with R., though that had had its own pleasures, pleasures I longed for but that had in no way compensated for the lack of this. I want to be nothing, I had said to him, and it was a way of being nothing, or next to nothing, a convenience, a tool.

Garth Greenwell, “Gospodar.”

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