death obsessed dyke

weirdest most killable dog in the pound

yeah well. I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.

you know when “gotham” wrote the character of kristen kringle, played by chelsea spack, a character who had been the victim of both workplace sexual harassment by her colleague edward, and domestic abuse by her boyfriend tom? then edward killed tom and then started dating kristen, and then murdered her when he told her he’d killed tom and she was rightfully terrified and tried to run out of his apartment. then edward chopped her body into pieces and buried her in a suitcase in an unmarked grave in the woods (after hiding her dismembered hand in a vending machine). and then they recast chelsea spack to play isabella no-canonical-last-name, who showed up out of the blue a season later and gave edward a riddle where the answer was “time” for no discernible reason at all. and isabella had a blatantly obvious wig, no backstory, and an unexplained obsession with edward. and chelsea spack played isabella with a weird glazed-over look in her eyes, and she looked angry or impatient when other characters weren’t looking at her, and she said she “felt like she’d known edward her whole life” and she dressed up as kristen kringle and was apparently fine with edward being a murderer. and she said she was in love with edward after one date, and that she wanted a love story like “romeo and juliet or othello and desdemona”, where both the lovers die. and she was introduced in the same season as a literal clone was added to the show’s canon, and her wig hair was identical to that of a big bad of that season for literally no reason at all, a big bad who was the head of a shadowy organisation and who worked with the lead doctor of a freaky science lab (another big bad of that season) where said clone was built. but rather than making isabella a clone, or following up on any of the acting choices chelsea spack made, or doing anything with the character at all, the writers instead had isabella die in a train crash which she herself had remarkably little reaction to, and which was played for laughs. then she was mentioned a couple of times by other characters (the running gag being that nobody remembered her name) before nobody mentioned her again. and that happened and we were all expected to move on and forget about it.

actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used

observe:

"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective

"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue

"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)" — is not only incredibly clear it's also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it's also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need

parentheses my beloved (they are for bonus thoughts) (and questions) ( and sidetracks) (like a 2nd conversation on top of the first)

I’m a bright young reporter with a point of view.

Isn't it crazy how we will all be in drastically different stages of our lives by this time next year? And then again and again and again.

"How can you like these very toxic and horrible characters that have done despicable and unforgivable things?" oh it's quite simple actually, this is fiction and I think with my dick.

the thing about the story of cain and abel is that i can’t blame cain in the slightest because if nobody had died before and i was unaware there would be consequences to my actions i would’ve been smashing rocks over my brother’s head since day one. honestly the fact that either of them lasted as long as they did without clobbering the other is a miracle within itself

Did. You eat. The baby?

using emdashes and a semi colon in the same line. this sentence will end when i do

I’m a bright young reporter with a point of view.

why is mike tyson hopping out of a two decade retirement to fight jake paul

what is happening

the toad strips the ego

type of sex i need requires no neighbors within an hour radius and a printed out map with directions to the hospital

How do they choose which sand to be the glass and which sand to be the sand in an hourglass... Imagine you and your best friend were two grains of sand and you had to be in the hourglass and your bestie had to be the glass. Ur together but youve never been more apart. A Sick and twisted practice hourglassery is...