realizing cis women also struggle with “passing” a lot of times and has a lot of the same issues with dysphoria trans women have (issues with putting on/losing weight, dissatisfied with bust size, not feeling “feminine” enough, etc.) has done a lot to combat dysphoria for me, cause it’s like, wow, we really have a lot more in common than we have in difference huh

terfs are starting to find this post, and i gotta say: terfs getting mad at a post that explicitly acknowledges cis women’s struggles and with notes full of cis women agreeing and talking about their own struggles and experiences really speaks volumes about how anti-feminist, and frankly misogynistic, terfs really are, that they don’t even give a shit about cis women’s struggles and experiences

I’m gonna start a blog where I post nothing but this every hour of every day.

I’ll never not reblog this

[tweet by charlie] 

“feminists” who exclude trans women basically admit to seeing women as walking vaginas. you know, like misogynists. 

[/end tweet]

@inneskeeper

…I want to refute this but no, I….yeah

[captions]

Person on screen: needs a couple pats of butter, a splash of olive oil, simmered on low with a bay leaf and a cinnamon stick. What?! You never seen a boy who knows his way around the kitchen? 

Yeah my mom always wanted a little girl but she got stuck with me instead. That wasn’t gonna stop her though so all my friends were opening up nerf guns and bmx bikes on their birthday, I was getting crockpots. 

(scene changes to the person dressed in a nice black suit jacket, bright pink dress shirt, and black tie) Yeah laugh it up! Take a picture while you’re at it ‘cause this is the last time you’ll ever see me in a suit! How do boys wear these things??

(scene changes to the person dressed in the same shirt and tie with no jacket and the shirt cuffs unbuttoned and rolled up, with purple nail polish on their nails) No, I don’t know how to fight. I was only ever taught how to deescalate situations with healthy communication and emotional validation.

Fellas is it gay to perceive oneself?

Sounds pretty gay to me

@nunyo-bizznez with the truest tags I've ever seen

[tweets by your astrology cherry-bomb] 

your daughter would be happy to learn to cook and bake and sew and clean if you taught it to all your children as basic life skills. now she’s in her 20s and learning off the internet and you’re missing out of bonding time w her bec you think she’s born to serve someone else 

your son would be happy to learn to cook and bake and sew and clean. it could be a great source of stress release. you’re robbing him of a harmless coping mechanism because you think he’s built to be served. now you’re missing out on bonding time with him too 

chased your kids away from these by gendering them and making them repulsive to your sons and your daughters by insisting it’s either about serving or being served and now they feel loss for the traditions they could’ve inherited if you hadn’t driven them away 

[/end tweets]

[screenshot of tags] 

#honorary mention: your kid would love to live in a clean home but you made cleaning a chore and even a punishment and you yelled at them if they fucked up #now your kid is so stressed out by the thought of cleaning and doesnt even know how to clean effectively because of your negative approach 

[/end screenshot]

this is pretty much me everytime anytime really

everything is hijab if you believe in yourself

In my early 20s, I took dance lessons as an extra subject qr school. We were all girls, including the teacher, so a girl who was wearing a hijab asked if the teacher could lock the door so she could take off the hijab. The teacher refused and gave some BS excuse that none of us bought. It was pretty clear she just didn't want to accommodate the girl, she even tried to start a debate about how she didn't need a hijab to begin with.

Eventually, after many dance lessons it absolutely no one interrupting us etc, the girl decided to take the change and take off her hijab. And, of course, on that day, a male teacher needed to talk to our dance instructor. I, being a big girl and standing close to the hijab girl, stepped in front of her to hide her and she immediately crouched behind me. Some other girls stepped around her as well.

Our dance instructor decided to take the opportunity to, once again, try to convince the girl to just stop wearing a hijab to begin with. If anyone in the class agreed with her, they kept their mouths shut. Our instructor was met with complete silence. Eventually, she just sighed and told us to get back to dancing.

That was the last time we had a close call with a guy walking into the room unannounced. Probably because one of the other girls decided to lock the door without our teacher knowing. It was just a quick flip lock, nothing you can't handle during a fire, which was unlikely to begin with.

I hope it made that girl to have others stand up for her like that. I hope she found a dance lesson class with a more understanding teacher. I hope she never bowed down to the pressure and is still wearing her precious hijabs.

She had some amazingly beautiful ones that I remember very well.

a good note to remind everyone... if you noticed a hijabi in need, cover her with anything possible. literally. This would help her to fix her hijab while knowing she's safe, comfortable, and private enough to do so.

one good example is this one

If a trans woman became chess world champion, terfs would unironically go: "It's unfair, male brains are much smarter than female brains. It's well known that women are fucking stupid. #feminism"

They literally did this to a trans woman who won a game of jepoardy named Amy Schneider.

Like they unironically argued that men are "socialized to like trivia more than women" and "men are genetically predisposed to have faster reaction times than women" and other complete nonsense.

"Women are fucking stupid and inherently inferior to men" - terfs, without a single fucking shred of irony or self-awareness

its literally even fucking co-ed!!! its not like jeopardy is a fucking gendered thing!!! there were also men competing w her!!! wtf

[Image description: Screenshot of a tweet by Twitter user “@HTHRFLWRS”, that says, “not nonbinary as in “add a third X gender marker to licenses” but nonbinary as in “remove all genders from licenses, holy shit why would you want a cop to know you’re trans” /end ID]

I'm gonna keep asking it: if the law is supposed to be the same regardless of gender, what is legal gender needed for if not treating people different based on their gender?

ooh rebloging for that last comment, so on point ily thank you

Look we have records of Medieval Knights crying out in their sleep, having emotional outbursts or flinching at the sound of clashing metal. We have records of people all through history who were treated badly by people who should have loved them, and having problems knowing who to trust. We have years worth of artists putting their human pain at broken hearts and broken promises into music that makes us cry.

Yes people have been traumatized by awful things for all of history and just like them You didn’t deserve to be hurt either.

[tweet by Baba Jaan] 

“My grandfather survived -insert a dozen traumatizing things here- I wonder how he’d react if he saw men being sensitive today [angry emoji]” Ur grandfather deserved tenderness too & it sucks that u glorify his suffering as a mark of manhood rather than recognize it for the burden it was 

[/end tweet]

She’s right.

Men will say “just don’t have sex 😒😒” to women about abortion, and then turn around and become incels and start murdering women who deny them sex.

so women are supposed to grin and bear the books, the comics, the movies, the plays, the tv shows, the stories, the sci-fi, the translated ancient poems, the fucking millennia of men writing about their self inserts torturing women and it being declared as High Art by other men, we’re supposed to read it in our free time, study it in classrooms, include their styles in our own writing, accept their cultural influence as natural, watch it in the cinema, write about it, talk about it, accept it, aspire it, but men can’t tolerate three seconds of female wish fulfilment of a woman snapping the wrist of a creep without feeling personally kicked in the balls.

This reminds me of something I observed in college while I was doing my honors thesis on women in modern horror films. I watched a LOT of horror during that time as part of my research, and sometimes that was done with my family around.

And my dad and brothers? Were deeply disturbed by the movie Jennifer’s Body. I was flabbergasted. It’s not scary! It’s not even that gory. But they were horrified by it. These men who grew up on 70s slashers were legitimately shook by 90 minutes of Megan Fox eating a few teenage boys, mostly off-screen.

Similarly, my all-male reading panel for my thesis? Were so disturbed by my synopsis of the film Teeth that they couldn’t even talk about it. One of them said he couldn’t look at his wife for a week after reading it.

Again, grown-ass men who study and teach media for a living. Who definitely watch and enjoy horror movies. One of whom was a huge Tarantino buff. We watched and read worse in his intro to mass media class! But one movie about a girl whose vag could bite was enough to haunt him.

Then of course you have things like the Gone Girl backlash–men yelling that Amy Dunne is evil and women clamoring to assure everyone that they know she is not someone to emulate–the backlash against Carol Danvers, and, more recently, the griping from MRAs against the upcoming film Hustlers, which is about strippers scamming their Wall Street clients.

My conclusion? Most men–at least most straight, cisgender men, who are both my sample population and most of the ones whining that Carol is a “villain”–are perfectly fine with, and desensitized to, media where men do violence to women (horror movies), or men do violence to men (horror and action movies). They’re even sort of fine when women do violence to women (“ooooo cat fight!”).

But they get intensely uncomfortable when women are depicted doing any kind of violence to men, especially in films that tilt the balance of power to the other side of the m/f gender binary beyond a single moment or scene.

So woman as flesh-eating monster with men as her preferred cuisine? Woman who responds to unwanted sexual contact by biting it off? Woman who frames her cheating husband for murder? Woman whose response to harassment–behavior that many of the loudest whiners know is both creepy and reflective of their own thoughts/actions–is to break something?

Too scary. Unacceptable. Disturbing. These men hate being presented with the idea, even in fiction, that their position of power is socially constructed, that it could easily be flipped the other way. It terrifies them.

In feeling that terror, they experience a tiny modicum of what living, existing, moving, being perceived as a woman in the world is like.

And they flinch every time.

Here have a newspaper comic from 1993

here’s my one whole discourse post for pride month. you fucks will never ever ever wean off the radfem shit if you keep trying to give “cis men are evil” nuance. no, it’s not bad because they could be closeted or questioning, it’s bad because gender essentialism is a fucking brain poison and it makes you stupid

this is “not all men” cloaked in progressive-sounding vocabulary

harry potter blog.

[Blonde pink fish in a red bikini kicking sand in Spongebob Squarepants’ face]

literally who CARES if straight cis men are wearing skirts for ‘clout’!!! I want to live in a world where being gnc is desirable to them rather than one where they make bigoted jokes about it. it’s GOOD that people with the privilege to do so are normalising gender non conformity and i dont give a shit if they have deliberate political intentions or if they’re just having fun you guys are all so annoying

we could be using the tiktok boys to kickstart a movement around men wearing skirts that would benefit gnc and trans people but you guys want ideological purity before u want results

i agree wit this but at the same time a lot of these guys are performing to be gnc in order to attract women and that’s a problem,,,,

is it?

do you think men have never tried to make themself attractive to women before? why is it that you suddenly have an issue with that when they’re not doing so in a socially approved way? Why do you view gender nonconformity as any more ‘performative’ than mainstream, conformative choices of presentation?

This just in, it’s morally wrong to want to look hot

I just saw the most Galaxy Brain gender take ever, from a cis man on reddit

[ID: a screenshot of a comment from reddit, with no username visible. The commend reads: This doesn’t make a ton of sense to me either. Setting aside the question of whether gender/sex is assigned or observed at birth, the gender I was assigned at birth was ‘boy.’ The gender I have now is ‘man’. Boys and men have different gender roles, and few adults identify as boys anymore. From this standpoint, every adult has a different gender than the one they had at birth. End ID]

Framing “girl” and “boy” as separate genders from “woman” and “man” is such an amazing take. it’s a framework that accommodates and explains so many trans experiences. Some trans people never were their AGAB. Some feel like they were their AGAB, but that that changed (usually when puberty hits, which is when you start “becoming a man/woman”. The accepted societal path is that girls grow up to into women, and boys grow up into men. But some girls grow up into men, and some boys grow up into women. This guy was a boy who grew up into a man, which generally works out pretty well for people. Some boys and girls grow up into people who aren’t men or women, even! It’s like this random cis guy skipped right over transgender 101, 102, 201, etc. and stumbled directly into Transgender Nirvana.

This is like one of the things in Kate Bornstein’s gender workbook! Maybe not exactly adult-child, it’s been awhile since I read it, but it offers some prompts for thinking about other gendered identity shifts that aren’t The Big Trans One.

…huh. as someone who felt like a failure at performing ‘girl’ correctly, but now feels a lot more comfortable with ‘woman,’ this… makes a surprising amount of sense!

I remember seeing a post a couple of years ago where somebody got about 80% of the way to this conclusion. 

She said she thought she was trans as a teen, because she felt uncomfortable with other people in her life referring to her as a young woman. Eventually she worked out that her discomfort was not based in gender dysphoria, but rather in feeling pressured to grow up faster than she was emotionally ready for. 

“I was not a woman yet. I was still a girl.” 

(Sadly the conclusion she drew was that her experience must be a universal one and all the young people nowadays who thinks they’re trans must just be confused. Kinda wish I’d saved the post so I could @ her with this take. Not sure she’d take it to heart but since it connects to her experience she might.)