Human nice, human get rock!

I have waited ALL FUCKING YEAR TO POST THIS

Santa is coming tonight.

@alltheshit-althetime

THE ONLY CHRISTMAS POST I DON’T BLOCK

dancer is my life

YES HERE IT IS, JUST IN THE SAINT NICK OF TIME

I mean the number of men who admit that their wife takes care of all of it and they don’t even know what she’s bought the kids makes this plausible. He assumes she did it and his wife thinks aw how sweet, he actually buys the kids things and gets really into the Santa thing!

But what about single parents?

They’re so overworked during the holiday they assume they forgot the presents Santa brought

ok fair enough

I wanted to create my own Christmas movie 🎄

I’d watch it.

It’s that time of the year again :)

Glad I turned audio on for this. 😎

ikr

In class we were talking about how cats teach themselves to hunt around their collar bells, and this dude followed that up with “well you know how Santa has those reindeer covered in those bells, right?” 

and what he going for was “the bells on cat collars are the same that reindeer are pictured wearing”

But what *I* heard was “Santa’s Reindeer are predator animals that are covered in bells for our protection” and let me tell you I did not appreciate that.

Just hear those slay bells jingling.

[to the tune of ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’]

Sleigh bells ring; are you listening?

On the reins, blood is glistening.

A grisly sight;

We’re anxious tonight,

Hiding from Santa Claus’ reindeer.

Gone away are the old deer.

Here to stay is a new fear.

As they fly along,

You pray a bell’s rung,

Hiding from Santa Claus’ reindeer.

They’re the same bells as on a cat’s collar

So their prey can hear when they’re around,

But cats learn to hunt around their collars

So they don’t make the jingle-jangle sound.

Carcasses were discovered.

Harnesses were bell-covered.

Apex predators

Who hunt in a herd;

We’re hiding from Santa Claus’ reindeer.

Hiding from Santa Claus’ reindeer.

Rewrite of ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’ inspired by @2ndplacewins​.

don't forget the RIDICULOUSLY accurate 1790s-1840s costumes

like. they made a tiny embroidered 1840s carter's smock that Rizzo wears in ONE scene for a matter of MINUTES

the costumes in the scenes where Belle and Ebenezer meet and where they break up, again, appear in ONE scene each. and yet both are fully accessorized and show the fashion shift in the several years between those events

they didn't have to do that! very few people would have noticed! AND. YET.

okay I am a huge fan of the the Muppet Christmas Carol and think it is the most accurate and best adaptation of A Christmas Carol ever produced HOWEVER I JUST WANT TO SAY that A Christmas Carol is NOT long. It’s around 30k words, which seems like a lot until you realize a) a lot of multichapter fanfics are that long or longer and b) most Dickens books are way, way longer, like ~140k.

Can confirm, I've got a paperback copy of the novel and at first I was sure it was abridged because it looked so skinny, but it isn't.

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

ok children gather 'round because all of these kindof have the same answer and I am way too passionate about this subject and the history behind it that I physically cannot remain silent about it

So if you were a 90's kid like me, you grew up with this film on VHS. if you were also like me, then you probably remember it very differently from how it was released recently both in blu-ray and on streamer formats and probably were freaking out thinking this was some kind of mandela effect for years: and THIS IS BECAUSE. THERE IS A CRUCIAL SCENE MISSING. AND LITERALLY I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. THE TWO MINUTES CUT KINDOF CHANGE THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THE WHOLE MOVIE??? and allow me to explain why.

That video above it the Deleted Song "When Love is Gone" was ONLY EVER featured on the VHS release of The Muppet Christmas Carol that came out through the 90's. Why? because initially, some uppity disney executive market tested it and went "kids are gonna get antsy with that and not like it" so they cut it then for the theatrical release, but then Brian Henson (director, son of JIM) somehow managed to get it into the VHS cut of the film. Kinda went rogue about it if memory serves. Now, as a child, this was kindof... a huge part of the movie for me? like I remember listening to it and crying a bit as a kid because this one song is just... so emotional? like seriously. other than the fact that it's being sung by Meredith Braun (who at one point played Eponine in Les Mis, and you gotta have some SERIOUS pipes to do that) AND Michael Cain, and it's a love song in a way, like it's very clear that she still cares for Ebenezer but she recognizes that her love for him is different than his love for her and she has to leave him, meanwhile THE MAN IS BEHIND HER CRYING AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN SEE HIM AND CLEARLY IT'S THE BIGGEST REGRET HE HAS And honestly? That's a HUGE part of what made it stand out for me as a child. Like. The muppets themselves were all fun and good but then you have this song for a second... and it really feels true to the dickensian spirit guiding the whole film, and it's what's made it to me the most true to form adaptation of his yet. It's phenomenal. And this dumbass disney exec said "it's too adult emotional for the kids" (an argument that always has and will always continue to be completely fucking stupid).

So then what happened? why didn't they put it in the DVD and Blu Ray releases that have come out throughout the years? Well, literally DISNEY LOST THE FOOTAGE. APPARENTLY. so when they went to restore it and reformat it for those releases AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY for the streamer release, it was literally missing. and Brian Henson has been asking them to look for YEARS. FINALLY they found it back in 2020, and then only last year did they upload the fully restored version that you see me ranting and raving about.

"But Egg", you ask, "why does this matter? What does this small 2 minute sequence change about this movie SO MUCH that it merits a huge ass post about it that is making people confused?"

Because let me tell you friends. Belle does not seem very significant and kindof pointless to flashback to without that song. It's like ok. she's there. She tells Ebenezer she's breaking up with him. and then... THE MUPPETS CRY ABOUT IT??? and that's it. That's all you get. you don't get any of the sense of how deeply this affected this guy- the LITERAL PROTAGONIST THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT. And it's all because, again, say it with me folks: the dipshit disney executive said "It's Too Emotional For Children".

Not ONLY that. But THIS SONG IS LITERALLY THE REPRISE THEY SING AT THE END OF THE FILM. WHICH. LET ME TELL YOU. IT'S FUCKING WEIRD FOR THAT TO LITERALLY COME OUT OF NOWHERE COMPLETELY LEFT FIELD AS A NEW SONG AT THE END. Like it makes no sense. ok sappy sentimental "the love we found" all right. BUT REMEMBER. THE ORIGINAL LYRIC IS "LOVE IS GONE". IT'S SYMMETRY. IT'S POETRY. IT'S FUCKING VITAL. An the movie is good as it is but literally trust me this makes it infinitely better when you see it as a whole. Please. Just trust me on this. Thank you and goodnight. oh yeah and here's a decent article that talks about it and that shall serve as my source for a lot of this

you're welcome

The Mouse... lost something that would make It money? WTF. (eyeroll)

(Disclosure: I have taken the Mouse's money and in return for it did good work that I'm still pleased with, in a universe I'd loved since childhood; so, as we say around here, "sorry, Not Sorry." Yet all the people I was working with at Disney in the late 80s were well aware of the Rodent's more greedy-and-grasping qualities. "They didn't get so rich by overpaying their writers," was one theme that made the rounds a lot.)

Anyway; I can't imagine this movie without that song. The pain is necessary for the full joy later. Seek out the full version if you can.

ETA for European viewers (and maybe others, who knows): On Disney+, the "Extras" page for "The Muppet Christmas Carol" now explicitly offers both the excised song (as a standalone) and the version with the excised song.

Today (December 19th) is a good day to watch it, since it's the anniversary of when the book got published in 1843!

okay so that’s at least one person who would have no problem if they got sent back to medieval times, the guild hall absolutely going off to this mashup

@honey-wine-and-time

Husband: That tune is really familiar.

Me: It’s the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.

Him: Ah.

Me: Mashed with Carol of the Bells. On a harp.

Him: *stares*

Me: Everything is on the internet somewhere.

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

shes almost here

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!

Y’all better behave, you have two months

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

Sasha the Christmas tiger my absolute beloved

Ah, a splendid specimen of the Yule Cat.

Scientific name Felis navidad, of course.

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

i have to do EVERYTHING around here

[tweet by Classy Warfare] 

The War on Christmas cannot end until Christmas stops its illegal occupation of November 

[/end tweet]

Everything that is obnoxious about Christmas is Crowley’s doing. 

The defenses of Halloween have fallen. Christmas has begun to spread over the rest of the year like a cancer, and the holidays earlier in the year rush to build any resistance they can muster.