magebutts

🎶workin' 9 to 5, yeah they're dead but it's my living🎶

Outlines of two alligators that slept through the rain.

i love having friends with favorite colors & shit so i can just send them random crap like yess this is pink ill show it to the pink friend this has a fish ill show it to the fish friend. fish is a color btw

Sometimes u just gotta make yourself a quesadilla and move the fuck on

The worst part about this post??? People saying “with cheese!” Bitch cheese is literally in the word if it had no cheese it would be a dilla

at the end of the day the saddest part of varric not actually being around is that what mary kirby blatantly did with the lucanis illario dynamic is literally just rehash bertrand and varric (favoured first son of the family who’s good at the job and matches its traditional values but is interpersonally a disaster area and also eventually afflicted with a voice in his head vs charismatic and fun spare son who likes a silk shirt, talks self-deprecatingly about his role in comparison, and couldn’t actually compare in skill with the family business) and then switch around which one we like and which one is the insane traitor with a red lyrium adjacent gimmick

i would have liked to put him through that. over a possessed man, too

This is why Lucanis is my perfect romance partner. Spite and I are buddies and Luc secretly adores us both despite his annoyance

Being an adult will having you freezing foods you didn’t even think were possible to freeze

sorry for suddenly stopping talking to you yeah lol i had a curse laid upon my mind and it convinced me that you hated me. no sorry i activated it due to my own folly. yeah i miss you a lot but you do hate me now

i think we have abandonment issues

Dealing with my fear of rejection by never asking for anything, and my fear of being a burden by never doing anything that involves other people. Foolproof.

Actually no one should be having sex. All of us are aged-up minors and the passage of time is inherently problematic

Hey sorry I didn't talk to you for over a week time keeps moving too fast

imagine being illario and finally finding the resolve to kill your cousin right. you seduce and fuck a blood mage venatori magister to get her to do this for you. you figure you’ll eventually kill her once you are first talon, tie up the loose end and make it look good for you. a vengeance story! except when your cousin’s body shows up your grandma retreats into herself presumably out of grief and you’re like jesus christ he’s a corpse and still the favorite. at this point you start feeling some regret and at the wake you’re beside yourself. it helps to be really feeling some of that to fool everyone else. but months pass and your grandma still isn’t even discussing the inheritance and you have to be normal because you don’t want to incriminate yourself. and then a year later some random guy (worse if its a de riva tbh) shows up saying they need your cousin to kill an elven god (what.) and he’s the only one who could (insulting). and its at this point your grandma is like “lucanis died… but he is not dead!”. record scratch freezeframe. while you juggle with the fact that the freak woman you fucked specifically to get her to kill your cousin didn’t even kill your cousin AND your grandma didn’t bother telling you (for good reason ofc but she doesn’t know that), you have to lead these assholes to go save him and unravel your hard work. so plan b. you kidnap your grandma and push your (now possessed) cousin away (and then get mad when he actually walks away. because you’re like this). and when your cousin comes dangerously close to figuring out what’s happened with you and the magister, you kill the magister. you ally with those elven gods and venatori (you aren’t sure how you’re going to get out of this one but it’s fine. that’s a hill for future illario) to make sure you have enough backing to stand up against the other houses if they challenge you becoming first talon. you continue to gaslight your cousin into staying away, because if there is one thing you can count on, it’s his literal inner demons and total lack of a support group, you’re certain he’ll fuck it up by himself. you know this because his support group used to be your grandma (dubious) and yourself (lol). you’re almost home free. and caterina will definitely acknowledge you as a player on the board. which isn’t important but it would be nice, right. BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT. YOUR COUSIN HAS RECENTLY MADE 7 FRIENDS. one of whom can speak to the fucking dead because of course he can. and then some of those friends show up to publicly humiliate you at the dinner party that should have been YOUR crowning moment. your grandma ALSO shows up to tell everyone you have gathered that your cousin is first talon. your cousin gapes at her because he doesn’t actually even want it so it’s kind of awkward for everyone. and then when you’re sure he’s about to ask viago de riva to poison you to death, he actually tells him just to take you away. because OF COURSE he’s being the bigger person. anyways the point is i’m surprised illario just lets himself be taken away because if i were him i would have started biting people and then bombed the villa

it has not stoped raining in Costa Rica. the tropical wave caused by hurricane Rafael has turned into a tropical storm. we are in state of emergency. the entire Pacific Coast is under a red alert, and the Central Valley and Northern regions are under an orange alert. we are talking floodings, landslides. a 23-year-old student at my university died on campus after a tree-branch fell on him. so many more people have died, or are missing. there are 1,400 displaced people. especially in Guanacaste and throughout the Pacific. countless more people have lost their homes, their pets, their cattle, their crops, their livelihoods.

this is not normal.

hey all! i have somewhere solid to donate monetarily. since it IS a SINPE (National System of Electronic Payments) number, that means that you'd need a Costa Rican phone number/bank to send money. i can definitely do that. i can post receipts of everything next week.

if you send me a coffee, from now UNTIL Monday 18 Nov. 2024 — 10:00PM CST. (i'd like to set that deadline, for organisation purposes.)

The tiers listed below, translated & converted to U.S. dollars. You do not have to donate these specific amounts, this is just a reference!!! You can give as low as $1 !!! Whatever you can!!!

if you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me an ask or an email!!! thank you all for the love. pura vida <3

the way taash treats spite like a disobedient dog is so funny to me. everyone else is so hung up on spite being a demon while taash is like "i'm rivaini. spirits are normal to me and this one is going in timeout if he doesn't start behaving"